How much 'trying' when ttc?

[newkid]

Have a lovely dd of 2.5 and desperately want second. Took two years plus to conceive her and that turned out to be largely down to - ahem - not doing 'it' at the right time and - ahem - not doing it 'enough'. Thought that as we had it sussed would be easier second time round but we have fallen into bad old habits. Sooo basically I'm just wondering how much bding other people do when ttc. We've bd'd for the last three days and I think today (or yesterday) is peak. DH feels a bit under pressure but should we do it more than once a day? Or have some of you been 'trying' like mad and still no luck months later?

[VanillaMilkshake]

Fell straight away for DD, but we tried for ages for current bump, had 2 m/c's along the way and a family death. But it still took 15 months.

If you have a 28 day cycle, 14 days after the first day of your period is supposed to be the right time. To make sure we covered this we did it for between 3-5 days over that period. Good luck!

[1n2s]

Hi newkid. I've been trying for 7 months now. I got the OTK to find out exactly when I'm ovulating and I found out its around CD 11-13 depending on my cycles which are between 27-30 days. So in a nutshell we make sure we BD on day 8, 10, 12, 14, 16. This was a top tip by pregnant friends ;) Although the GP I saw last month said we should be BD'ing 2-3 times each week to be sure and not to get hung up on OTK etc.Seems like a lots of the gals on here have more energy than me and are at it like rabbits, but we're too knackered. Hope hat helps. Good luck

[newkid]

Should add that the method that worked last time for us was taking basal temps. Ovulation monitors were garbage. Not sure exactly when I conceived (have a 26-28 day cycle) but suspect it was on day 15 or 16 when I notice a surge in my temp so later than expected (eg not the typical day 14 ovulation) and the fertility software that I was using didn't even think I was pregnant when I was! I think DH and I are at an age (37) when we need to get it pretty much 'on the money'. Also should add that a fertility expert that we saw during investigations said that the egg sometimes only hangs around for 12 hours after ovulation so the window for fertilisation can be pretty tight. This leads me to think that the more bding the better - which is pretty much the medical advice we were given. So I just wanted to see if that works for most people. Most of my friends seem to get pregnant within a month or two of starting to try; of course there are also those friends who are in the same boat as us, including some who have had to go through IVF.

[pendulum]

hi newkid,
I'm in similar circs to you- have DD of 2 1/2 years and sooooooo keen to conceive again.

With her it took us 3 months of regular but not particualrly timed sex- no OPKs, charting etc.

This time we have been trying 7 months of which 3 I have been charting like an obsessive and massively upping the bding rate around the critical time- but it doesn't seem to be having any effect. I am thinking- surely the probability of me conceiving should be much higher than average because of this scientific approach? For this reason I'm thinking of going to the doc next week (I'm currently in the 2WW) even though have heard they usually want you to wait at least a year.

Sorry- am rambling a bit! what I meant to say is that, (altho it's not working for me) once a day around peak time should be more than adequate and could even be too much if your DH had low sperm count (not suggesting he has!), so as long as you've correctly identified your fertile time you should be fine.

[blueshoes]

newkid, for my first one, bd-ed like mad around peak period, charted, cough mixture/EPO, eggwhites ... (you geddit), pregnant after 5 months.

2nd time round, did nothing except bd every 2-3 days around peak time, fell pregnant on first try (mc) and then 6 months later (now ds).

Agree with 1n2s to do it occasionally outside of peak period because ovulation can fluctuate esp if you don't have a clockwork cycle.

[Ettenna]

I conceived quickly using sympto-thermal method. IMO cervical mucus is the way forward - it's a very reliable indicator and isn't affected by the same stuff that temps are. We just BD'd on the days when i had it and a day or so after. When you get really familiar with your cycle/temps/CM you'll just 'know' when it's the right time. hope this helps - I'm 36 and was pretty anxious to get on with it too!

[blueshoes]

Ettena, you reminded me. The only thing I did second time round besides bd-ing, was check for stretchy CM. Would attack my dh on those days...

[mrspf]

Another thing I've heard is to make sure you BD prior to starting your serious BD to get rid of any old tired sperm and stimulate new ones.

I agree that EWCM is the way to go, and every day or other day should ne ok.

Good luck.

[wishing1]

With my 3rd child we bd 5 days before ovulation and none for 2 weeks dh was very sick with flu and after 7 months of trying hard,that was actually the month I conceived! Now 13 years later at 38 we have been bding 4 days before, 1 day before and one after and it hasn't worked it's been 5 months, I think there is just a time when God says ok, it's time and all we can do is keep trying until that happens, I know how you feel, it's very sad when af comes each month, you think that it wont happen because your doing everything right, I feel that way. Good luck

[CurrantBun]

We were trying for just under a year (I'm 37 and DH is 32). For most of that time though we weren't actually 'trying' that hard to be honest - we decided to see what happened if we just went with the flow. I was training for my third marathon and I really think that I wasn't mentally in the frame to get pregnant until I'd achieved that goal.

As soon as the marathon was over I started charting my BBT because my body weight is quite low and I worried that it might be affecting my fertility. I think I really relaxed after charting for a month and finding that my temperature DID rise as it was supposed to. My cycles are quite long and slightly irregular (32-36 days) so charting was really helpful. In the first month we BD'ed on what we estimated to be the 'best' days based on my cycle length in previous months as we had no idea when my BBT might rise.

In the second month we knew roughly when to expect the temperature rise so BD'ed every day for the 3-4 days beforehand. By coincidence this happened to coincide with a week's holiday in Turkey - and bingo! Tested positive 3 weeks later.

I honestly feel the biggest factor was the fact that we were both totally relaxed, and I was completely focused on getting pregnant because my marathon goal was achieved and out of the way.