IVF - need advice and experiences! Please.!

[butterflyFairy1]

Hi ladies.

Basically, I'm starting fertility treatment soon, after thinking about it for a long time (months and months - at least since last Oct) and was planning on starting with IUI. Upon actually getting the courage to do so, I emailed the fertility clinic in my town. They told me the cost of IUI, and told me that if I was to donate half my eggs, IVF would become cheaper because they'd take off the egg donation fee on the IVF. If that makes sense..? So now I'm planning to go ahead with IVF, and I have some questions. I know there's always Google lol, but Google sometimes throws in "big words" and I'm not 100% sure on their meaning! Plus it's always better to hear from women with experience.

My questions are, will I be put under general anaesthetic whilst my eggs are collected?! Purely because I'm petrified of needles haha... Blood tests I can deal with, but anything else makes me feel nauseous! And once my eggs are collected, what is the actual process? I know roughly but I'd like some more insight from ladies that've been there. And also... What's the success rate? I understand it's low, but an actual statistic would help if anybody knows.

Sorry to throw so many questions at you. I got this email this evening when I got home from work and by then it was too late to phone the clinic. And I'm too eager to wait until tomorrow to find out more!!!

Thank you all in advanced :):)

I had fertility treatment for four years in total. Three full cycles and two abandoned.

Do you understand what egg sharing involves? Sorry if I sound patronising.

My first cycle was ES but I didn't produce enough eggs and they then wouldn't let me continue.

Egg collection (EC) involved deep sedation so you don't remember it. Apparently I talked all through mine but I don't remember!

My second cycle worked but I miscarried, then third and final also worked and my DD is 8

I would consider acupuncture with someone specialised in fertility problems. I swear by it and feel it helped, not cheap though.

I was 37 when our cycle worked and 38 when my DD was born. Obviously with age success rates fall.

Happy to answer any other questions and good luck.

I do understand what ES meanings nowt, yeah.. Well at least I think I do?! As far as I know, they'll collect eggs from me and I'll receive half, and a donor woman/couple will receive the other half. I'm also understanding that if I don't produce enough eggs, they'll abandon the treatment. That's a risk I feel I have to take, though.

I'm sorry your first one ended in a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage at 11wks in Oct, and this has been all I've thought about since as I'm not with my partner and haven't been since August. There's so many personal reasons as to why I physically cannot have a boyfriend, in which I don't wish to share over the Internet. So yeah, you are right if you're thinking I'm planning to go ahead with this alone.

At least you don't remember the EC... In a way, it sounds very traumatic - but what must be done, must be done!

I do have a few questions if that's alright with you. But they're not simple ones. Like, what is the actual success rate? Is there a specific BMI you need to be under? Will they not let you undergo treatment if you have certain health conditions...?!

Thank you for taking the time out to reply to me :)

Didn't want to read and run but I'm MNing as I fall asleep.

I've one DD who was conceived one my first and only cycle of IVF which was an egg share cycle.

Success rate depends on a lot of factors and also varies by clinic. You can look up local clinics and their success rate on the HFEA website.

Egg share criteria is dependant on clinic, at my clinic you had to be under and certain age and BMI and had to have certain screening tests before you were accepted.

I had EC under concious sedation, think I was asleep though as I don't remember everything. It's basically a way or sedating you so you don't feel anything but not as deep as GA so they don't need to intubate you or using a breathing mask I think.

Can I ask, what's your reason for requiring IVF? Sorry if that's prying. But that will also affect success rates. Ours was males factor infertility so our chances of success (once the eggs were fertilised) was pretty descent as there were no problems with me that we knew of.

Hope that makes sense, I'll check back with a less sleepy hazed post in the morning

Hi FatimaLoves :)

Wow! You fell after one round? That gives me sooo much hope!! Congratulations :) what was your experience like, if you don't mind me asking??? I looked at the success rates for my clinic, it's 43.9% I think.. I looked at it last night, can't remember too well this morning haha! It was definitely around that number though. And that's better than every other clinic on the list...! So I'm quite optimistic at the moment. My BMI is sitting quite high at 31.2 - that could go against me, couldn't it? But losing weight for it won't be a problem, as this is something I really want.

Oh that's fine by me, I don't mind being heavily sedated. I'd rather that than GA in many ways, because of the risks. I had my first major op in March to have my appendix out (I say major, it's the most major I've had haha), and the GA petrified me! They thought it could be PCOS that was causing my pain so they sent me to gynae to have a look at my ovaries and how everything was working, and they told me there that everything looked good, so again, I'm quite optimistic about it all.

You may not agree with my reasons for going ahead with IVF, but I'm doing it alone. I've had many many bad relationships, and I've had experiences when I was younger that id rather forget about... If you get what I mean. I have tried and tried to have a "normal" relationship, but not only can I not find someone who isn't horrible, I have loads of personal issues to work through, too. I'm fine in every day life, it's just when I have a partner experiences I went through with previous partners and when I was younger come flooding back. I have had counselling and different bits for this, but I cannot seem to push past it. It's my ultimate goal to have a family by myself, even though I'm single. When I approached this subject with my fertility clinic they told me it wouldn't be a problem if I was to see it through solo. I do have a massive support network around me though, live very close (on the same street!) to my Mum & Dad and my Nan & Grandad, plus I have aunties, uncles, and cousins who are all around a similar age to me, and my brother and his girlfriend, too. I wouldn't be "alone" as such because of their support, but I will be in terms of I'll be partner-less, lol.

Because everything seems to be working fine with me, does that boost my chances of success...? My periods are regular, given a day of two, and I'm pretty sure I ovulate as I feel pains around CD 12, again, give or take a few days. I haven't done OPK's as I didn't think there would be any point.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, even though you were so tired!!!

Hi there, another IVF first time success here! Currently 22 weeks pregnant. Just thought I'd pass on a few things from my experience.

First of all doing it alone is totally fine, but that support network does need to be secure and reliable- the injections and hormones are tough! I had many days feeling really horrible, crying for no reason, taking things out on my OH because he was breathing too loudly... and was totally not myself. But also needing him there to hug me, tell me it would be ok, etc... Which he did, he was my rock! My advice would be to get a few members of your family totally onboard and bring them to appointments with you- the initial ones at least so they know what you are going to be going through and you will definitely need someone to take you to the egg collection as you shouldn't drive after.

As far as the EC sedation goes- it is fine- you get a needle in the back of your hand, go into the room, they put stuff into you and you fall asleep them wake up back in bed 30mins later. The worst bit for me was the needle coming back out again- it made me faint!

BMI- if doing it through NHS you have to be on or below 30. I was 30 so just scraped through, though if doing it privately I don't think they are as set on that, however, the closer to 30 or below, the better obviously.

As for statistics- depends on the clinic and your age- the percentage lowers the older you get. But also remember these numbers include people of have underlying issues as well. I, like the pp had no problems so theoretically should have had no problem getting and staying pregnant. So seeing as things are fine with you, it should help you too.

Another thing is all clinics must offer counselling and I would strongly advise you to make use of this. Although I do think if you are doing egg donation it is mandatory before you start so they know you are fully aware of the processes and prepared for all outcomes e.g. your cycle fails but donor's cycle is a success...

Hope this helps, any other questions feel free to ask. x

Hi bigchanges, thank you for your reply :) i did go to reply this morning but my phone said an unexpected error occurred when I was nearly finished... So I gave up and thought I'd try again later!!

Wow congratulations, first time?! That's amazing.

Sorry, phone has now posted without me finishing... I think it might be time for a new one!!!

That's amazing, I hope your pregnancy is going smoothly. Do you know what you're having? :)

I expected the hormones to play havoc with my emotions. I have a fantastic support network - my mum is my rock. We live close, so she's only a short walk away down the road if I need her. I often go to her really stressed, whether it be with work or whatever, and she always talks me through it. She's amazing :) my grandparents are relatively young at mid sixties, my mother is mid forties and my dad is nearly 50. About time they became grandparents ;) hahaha! I'm fully prepared to undergo these changes. Am I right in thinking that they give you HCG? If so, when I it comes to testing, how will I know whether I'm actually pregnant or whether it's from the HCG I've had to take?..

Ah I'm so glad that I'll be heavily sedated. I'm nervous because I have something of a phobia of them and me and needles don't get on at all haha. How do you feel after EC?

Well, seeing as I can't start until mid September (that'll just be for the initial appointment) because of work commitments, like I can't have ANY time off for 12 weeks starting this Monday coming, I'll have to wait until my shifts go back to normal and I know whether I'm on 2pm-10pm, say, so I can book appointments for the morning.

The statistics for my clinic are good - I think from what I can gather - they're the best one in my county and surrounding counties I think. So I'm very optimistic :):) when it comes to my BMI, I'll be ok because I have three months to get it down before I can go to the first appointment. Quite excited by the whole prospect now... Starting to feel more real...!

I'll take the counselling :) even though I got sent a leaflet electronically today on ES, and know what it's about and know that I want to do it, it's still insightful to hear about it more in depth.

Yeah everything with my reproductive system seem to be fine. I'm regular, and the only problem I've had is a miscarriage at 11wks at the beginning of October, but it was complete by the time I got scanned and nothing further was needed.

Thank you so much for your reply :) x