Too much pressure??

[katiebrusby]

Hi, so hubby and i have been arguing about having kids, im ready and hes not sure he is. We said about waiting till the end of the year but iv come to the conclusion i dont think i can, so many people around us are having babies or trying and its getting me extremely depressed to a point of ive been having anxiety attacks and all sorts.

So yesterday i told dh that i want to come off the pill and that he needs to have a serious think about our future because im not prepared to make myself more miserable waiting for him to decide. ive told him i wont come off the pill without telling him firsgt and that when i do if he dosnt want to sleep with me for fear of getting pregnant then thats his decision and i wont stop him. he has said he knows he wants kids with me hes just always thought of it to be in the distant future and has never thought about the future actually arriving.

am i being fair?

Hi katie, deciding when to start a family is understandably a very big decision to make, and it's the most life changing one you'll ever make too.
I don't think you're being unfair, I think it's clearly a highly emotionally charged situation and maybe you're not explaining things to him as clearly as you'd like to, and therefore are feeling frustrated at his inability to see things through your eyes.
How well does he undestand the journey to becoming a parent? Sadly it's very rarely as straight forward as coming off birth and boom, 9 months later you're blessed with a bouncing baby.
It can be a long bumpy ride that can cause a lot of stress on a relationship. So my best advice would be to try to stay close as possible and talk through your hopes, worries and concerns as much a possible. Is he good at opening up? Has he said why he needs this extra time? Ha she got close friends that he can confide in?
Please try to not let this drive a divide between you, and also try your best to enjoy this time with you both as a couple. As you'll never have this time back when you do have that loveky screaming pooping bundle of baby!