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Conception

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Telling the news to people it will upset

9 replies

Droflove · 09/04/2015 22:11

I hope this is an appropriate place to post this. So just found out last week we're expecting #3, our third in 3 years. Absolutely thrilled and excited, we are very very lucky that we have gotten what we wanted for our family. I'm really not feeling like telling people as at this stage I kind of feel like it's of little interest to others and we might even be criticised but we'll have to tell people at some point. We are close to our families but all 3 of our sisters will potentially be upset by this news for various reasons (infertility, miscarriage, age). God do I hate this part. Do we sit down with each of them in private? Would that make it seem like a big deal, or worse that we are rubbing it in? Is there anything we can do to lessen the blow. We've always told people early as I get so ill it's hard to hide it but I'm thinking of just hiding away till much further along this time. Maybe this time my hubby should tell his sisters alone and I tell my sister on my own to make it less like a big announcement. I guess there is no way around it but would like to hear your opinions on how you would like to hear if it was you.

OP posts:
stopeatingbiscuits · 09/04/2015 22:20

It's number 3, so they have already had the same news delivered twice? I wouldn't tell them until later (I have always waited til 12 weeks but I know lots of people tell earlier) and I also wouldn't make a big deal of it, just mention it quietly at an appropriate time. I would do it where there are other people there so it is not so much of an event. What did you do the first two times and how did it go?

saturdaysnitching · 09/04/2015 22:28

I would send them a text.

I wouldn't tell them in public if you're worried they'll be upset.

With a text they can digest the news without you there, then put a brave face on when they see you.

BUT, they might not care anyway. I'm already bored by second baby news - third is a big yawn Wink

Congrats Smile

mrschatty · 09/04/2015 22:35

Hay op!
I would suggest telling them face to face- the sisters who are sisters together because otherwise one will phone/text the other and break the news anyway and then the other sister. It's tough- in my experience a close friend told me by text while I was at work just got my period having a shit day and just broke down- I'd only been trying about 9 months. Now I'm on month 19 and have her new baby in my life I'm thrilled! Look at it that way hopefully they will be happy for you and be excited for a new wee addition xx

Droflove · 09/04/2015 22:54

Thanks girls. That might be the best, to tell his sisters together. I'd say they both support each other behind closed doors with the whole ttc journey. My sister, I dread. I'll tell her myself anyway.

OP posts:
MrsGlam · 10/04/2015 00:25

As someone who has suffered 2 late miscarriages when I was in the stages of greivung I would much prefer to be told by text I then had time to digest it and think of a reply and ready to have my happy face when I saw them next time..the worse thing to do is tell them face to face in my opinion!

Clobbered · 10/04/2015 00:43

It seems that most people in similar situations would rather find out in private and be able to make their own adjustments to the news before seeing the person concerned. A sensitively worded text does seem to be the best way to do this (most likely to be received straight away, less chance of one person knowing at not the others?).
There is no easy way for them to hear this, is there?
Congratulations by the way!

CuppaSarah · 10/04/2015 06:04

I think text is the best way to go. Tell them during an evening when you know they have nothing on and their partners are home. Once you've sent the text wait for them to mention the pregnancy before talking about it. Leave the ball in their court. They will be happy for you, but it might take them time to be able to show it.

Flowers congratulations on your pregnancy.

Primaryteach87 · 10/04/2015 06:28

Hi, it's hard as everyone is different. But when I was four miscarriages in, I would have wanted to be told by text. This happened with two friends. The first told me via text, I cried in private and then when I saw her gave lots of congratulations etc. the second told me out of the blue in person. I burst into tears. It was awful as I felt I was being selfish and didn't want her to see that. My advice: send a text.

gincamelbak · 10/04/2015 06:28

Text or phone call. It means that theyddon't have to put a brave face on immediately.

We had to break news I was pregnant with DC1 to DSIL when I was 12wks but only 7wks after her DC1 was still born. I felt guilty, really guilty for the timing even though that was out of our hands. We told them then as we were telling rest of family and it wouldn't have been fair to not tell them, and we were going to weddings with mutual friends who would have known by seeing me.

With DC2 I texted some friends rather than do a big surprise face to announcement

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