Newbie - probably ridiculous questions

[PishTosh]

We have wanted a baby for ages but wanted to have a home and stable income and marriage before we would consider it.

We're getting married this Sept and want to try for a baby (will probably stop taking precautions around start of August) as soon as possible.

I'm mid-twenties, been off the pill for approx. 9 months and don't drink or smoke. Periods have always been normal. I'm about 10lbs overweight, which I'm working on. Is there anything else I can do to boost fertility? I have bought some ovulation tests but not sure how to use them yet..?

My partner doesn't smoke but does drink - generally only beer at weekends. He is about 2.5 - 3 stone overweight at the moment - will this make a difference re. fertility?

I'm just worrying that, after all this work and waiting, we will be unlucky in terms of conceiving. I'm desperate for a baby but my partner's parents tried for a decade with no success. They were lucky in the end and had a miracle pregnancy.

Any advice re. what we can do (or if we should start trying sooner) would be v much appreciated!!

There's no reason whatsoever to suspect infertility. Of course your parents situation will you, but you are you, they are them.

I am certain you will get pregnant within a year. But if you really are anxious about infertility, is it possible to squirrel some money away for fertility treatment? That way if you somehow have an issue you'll have the money ready and can start treatment straight away. You won't need the money, but it'll buy you some baby bits.

Reflexology really worked for me. Either it calmed me down or got everything working as it should, I'll never know, but it definitely helped and is a lovely treat too.
Also, start your folic acid now and get into yoga.
And much easier said than done - don't worry, stress or put time expectations on yourselves. Try to enjoy it!

Start on folic acid - if you want to take a multivitamin/mineral make sure it's one intended for women ttc (no vitamin A). Not necessary if you have a good diet but worth considering, though I wouldn't shell out for the expensive ones - boots and superdrug own brands seem perfectly good. Healthy weight and low alcohol diet can help

I wouldn't worry about ov tests - having sex every other day all month is the general recommendation, try to keep it fun rather than calculated for baby-making. Definitely don't wait until you get a positive result on a test to start trying every month; sperm lives for about a week and an egg for just 24 hours, so by the time an opk shows positive you've missed a lot of opportunities and it's also nearly too late for that month.

Can only echo what everyone else has said. Try to do the deed at least 3 times a week. Start taking folic acid. And try not to think about it too much. Stress is one of the biggest inhibitors to conceiving. Remember it takes on average a year for a healthy couple to conceive so don't panic if it doesn't happen the first few times you try.

Good luck.

Thanks so much everyone - I'd heard about taking folic acid but didn't realise I could start taking it now - will start today

I think we'll start trying in August

If you don't already it might be work keeping track of your cycle dates. there are plenty of apps to use ( fertility friend, clue, Ovia etc. This should give you some baseline info about your cycle and also provide your app with personalised data to make predictions more accurate when you are ready to start ttc-ing. You might also find you become much more aware of what your body does throughout your cycle once you start collecting data on symptoms eg ovulation pains, regular aches and pains on the same day before af shows up, a regular chin spot, or a pattern of cervical mucus. Non of this stuff is completely necessary but may prepare you in advance for the inevitable symptom stopping during the tww.

Mayber also get into a habit of having regular sex (if you don't already) to take away some of the potential stress from ttc sex (which can become a bit more pressurised, scheduled and practical rather than a loving union or naughty fun). Good luck with everything

Can I add that tracking with an app is a good idea BUT they are not gospel so don't then only dtd when IT telks you (my app was a couple of days out as I had a long lutesk phase which I Sussed because I used opks from 6minths).

Also, if you're in the pill of other chemical contraceptive, get off it and use barrier protection eg condoms to get chemicals out of your system.

Fwiw, we started ttc 3minths before our wedding and it took us 20months to conceive. Please try to relax about it as I think this was probably a factor for us.

My LO is now bf-inv as I type

The first time I TTC I was overweight and I wasn't eating particularly healthily. Good basic meals, but too much cake and sweets. It took about four months and I ended up with a molar pregnancy. I had to wait several months to TTC after the molar because of a variety of complications that it brings. In that time, I started eating a very clean, low carb diet. I eat about half an avocado a day, lots of raw spinach in salads, and fat in all varieties. I also cut out most dairy. I lost about twenty pounds, and we got pregnant the first month we didn't use protection, despite only having sex about four or five times all month. I'm about five and a half weeks now and I feel great. There are never any promises, but I fully believe that my diet made a huge difference to my fertility.