Waited 42 days for my af 1 day bleed :(

[Ktdnn83]

Sex is not fun anymore
Trying is not fun anymore
Nothing is working ..... Shit periods shit cycle ... Shit tedious sex ... The flame is burnt out in that department for me !!!! Still no baby 13 month on ... 5 more months to wait then our doc can help us .... 5 more month of this !!!!
I feel deflated constantly... One day period .... Just gone ... Why am I not like anybody else ? We don't even drink anymore . We don't socialise . Every vitamin every day - check list is endless! Him coming home with new ideas for the bedroom ... 'No piss off I don't want sex with my legs above my head leant against the wall upside down' no , no , no !!!!!!!!! New house 3 empty rooms 32 now he is 34 ... Somebody tell me it will happen soon or I'm going to explode !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kt I have just read this. I'm so sorry. I am 32 and haven't had a period since coming off the pill in November. I can empathise with your frustration and I feel it in every sentence of your post. If you join the buses, there are ladies there with a wealth of knowledge at every stage in this process. I'm not going to fill you with platitudes about trying to keep positive etc. etc. but it will happen. One way or another, you will get your baby. Why do you have to wait another 5 months for the doctor to help you when you have been trying for 13 months already?

Kt
I can't offer any practical advice as it sounds like you have and are still doing an amazing job at ttc!

Only one thing that strikes me is that you are SO stressed out. That in itself will stop you from conceiving.

Please take it easy on yourself.

We have a bus - the angry pubes one - come and join us and vent with us. Do you temp? Do you have any charts you can show us?

Sending you lots of stress busting hugs!

My doctor said ' we can start to look into things once you have been trying for 18 months ' that's what she said , it's their procedure.
I shall join this immediately thanks ladies .
Thanks so much for your replies x

Sorry you're in so much pain k, ttc is such an emotionally draining procedure none of us would have ever thought it would be. I have been trying over 2 years now so I know exactly how you feel, especially about the sex thing! I was only just saying the other day that we hadn't had non ttc sex for months!

I don't know why you need to wait 18 months before the GP will help you, I thought it was after 12 months. I would query that. I went to see my GP at 15 months and was tested straight away.

I'm on the angry pubes bus too with lots of supportive lovely ladies, but if you find it a bit fast paced please come and join my '10 months and staying positive' thread. Most of us have gone through every test going and are now helping and advising newbies.

Also, as the others have said, you need to reign the stress in. Is there anything you can do to take your mind off it and relax sometimes? Mini break with hubby? A walk in the park, a jigsaw, read a book, go for a swim? You need to be nice to yourself x x

Oh lovely lady it can be heart breaking to go through this process. I'm in the April 2015 and angry pubes bus. Hop on to one of both of these for some moral support, so many of us are in the same situation as you.
also go back to your doctor and demand more help. Explain things as you have here and demand more help, or find a new GP? You deserve some support. X

For what it's worth my go is helping me and I've only been trying since May. Bloody unfair that you have to wait so long. x

OP, you need to calm down. Why? All that angry cortisol (stress hormone) is possibly making things worse. I won't tell you to 'relax and it will happen' 'cos I don't fancy two black eyes and a kick in the flange, but listen to me: you will get your baby. You are young and fertile (by that I mean your eggs are probably top dollar; it's just your hormones that are out of whack.) Your GP is a twat for insisting you wait twelve months. CHANGE YOUR GP. Get all Rambo on someone's ass. You have to take charge of this, OP, so you can feel a little empowered. It is grotesque making you wait 18 months. Fire that fucker off and go seek out a sympathetic female GP.

Stop getting mortal on your partner's ass. That fella deserves a medal for coming up with new ideas to temp you back into the boudoir. He is far superior to most males in this respect. Sounds like he loves you and fancies you. Be grateful for that, at least. Set aside at least one night each week where you refuse to entertain thoughts of babies. Go out and get drunk or go watch an exhilarating movie. Go on an arduous walk together. Come on, missus, only YOU can change this bit.

Go and find a new GP, be kind to your fella, telling him you appreciate he is on this journey with you instead of some sweaty gamer dude who'd rather sink eight cans than make love to his missus and often follows through when he farts. Then come and join the Bumsnet Angry Pubes thread. We'll kick your depression into touch. And..on a patronising note, you need to see the wider picture: women who are having just as much difficulty in their lives as you. For example, look at me: my local B&M have sold out of Twirls and my husband is a fucking turd. See? There's always someone worse off.....

*eighteen months

Oh, and get yourself a MN username I can understand, like Spunk.

Hi Kt I've been on this journey for over 12 months now and I share your frustration. I got told different things by different Drs in my surgery which really upset me until I found out who was the fertility lead Dr in the surgery and then I saw her. She was so lovely and Got the ball rolling, I've had bloods done. However the nurse who took my last blood test booked me in with the Dr I'm registered with whom I'd never seen, I didn't realise this until I went for the appointment. She was ok but a bit vague as to whether they could send me for an ultrasound and said she'd ask the lead Dr but I've now made an appointment to see her myself as I was told we won't qualify for any help due to dp having a dc17. So I'd like to know exactly what help I'm entitled to. Sorry for waffling on, my point is find out who's the expert in your surgery and book an appointment

purdeypie so true but you really made me lol

This really resonated with me. It took us approx 12 months to conceive DD1, I had ridiculously long cycles. 40-60 days were not unusual and it really feels like you get fewer chances than anyone on a 28 day cycle.

We decided to stop trying in December and just enjoy the month of parties etc, went away with work (together) got exceptionally drunk on expenses shagged loads and came back pregnant.

I had some bleeding at 9weeks by dates, was scanned and put back 4 weeks. We conceived on one of those 'ano-ovulatory' months. We went on to have 4 children under 6, something about that first pregnancy kick started my body I think.

Agree with pp, your DH sounds amazing! Go back to your GP and see what they say...

I wish I could give you a massive hug my lovely you can choose whether its before or after purdey kicks you up the ass! I hope we've all made you feel better and please do join our groups so we can continue to help you on this journey x

Four kids under six??!

I think Sakura's suggestion is a brilliant one. Go and find the head honcho of all things womb-like and cry and rant to them. Brilliant idea. Can I also remind you, OP, to keep having sex? I know this sounds absurdly patronising but it happens all the time; couples find it disheartening when conception doesn't happen in the first year or so and the sex becomes shit perfunctory and the we lose the will to live keep at it. You must keep at it though. Have sex right through your fertile window and one day past ovulation.

If you find problems arise in the stage fright department - and your fella's schlong gives up the ghost - you can try artificial insemination using a syringe and a cup of your man's love juice. A few of us have had to resort to this over on the Bumsnet thread....and two of 'em got pregnant!

Kt, I am sorry to hear you are struggling so much. TTC is horrible, especially after a long time. We have been trying for four years, so I completely understand how you feel.

I don't understand your Dr not doing anything. I think he/she is mistaken in telling you to wait. Everyone I have come across on the forums has been referred after a year, as was I. I would make an appointment to see someone else and see if you can get things started now. It sounds like you have some kind of hormonal imbalance, which can be detected with blood tests. If this is the case, it can probably be sorted out pretty easily.

I also think you may be suffering from depression. Given your situation this is perfectly understandable, but needs treating before it spirals.

I agree with all the other suggestions. Go for walks/wekends away/visit friends. Basically, live your life. Your DH sounds lovely, and would probably appreciate you telling him how much you care.

Come and join us on the Bumsnet/Angry Pubes bus where there are lots of lovely ladies full of support and advice.

Purdeypie ??????cannot stop laughing at least this site is making me smile !!

Thanks so much for your replies everybody it has made me smile ! Oh I know there are people worse off believe me ...my friend lost her baby boy 9 month old a few week ago Harry Done , please visit his just giving page ! I know this ladies ,I sound selfish I know !! I am lucky to have suck a loving hubby he is my whole world , I take it out of him constantly. He can't even make a bru properly without me jumping down his throat .... I feel some what annoyed now at my doctor she is absolutely been amazing with us she is a family doctor I will make an appointment though and tell her ... Maybe beg her !!! I am currently eating a bloody Easter egg to drown my sorrows haha !!! Never mind eh ....I am sorry anyway if I sound so selfish I have my health I guess .

Wishing you all a happy Easter xxxxxxx

KT, you are not selfish! That's what we are trying to tell you; it is a hard, hard thing to cope with when all you can think about is babies. It's horrible. But you don't have to suffer on your own. Come and join us here at the Bumsnet Angry Pubes Bus.

Hi kt just wanted to echo what the others have said, it's bloody hard work this business but we will get there in the end. Defo be kind to yourself and your fella.

Just on the point of dr's, I went for my first appointment on Thursday, told her we'd been trying a year, she's arranging blood tests but I was also told to keep going for another 6 months and then go back and see her. Hope to see you on the bumsnet bus

Quite a personal question but do you orgasm during sex? If you orgasm after he has ejaculated it gives the cervix a good old dip in the semen and can help. Sorry if that's TMI...

Oh for fuck's sake what an outrageous lack of insight. Did you even read the thread, AuntieDee? It's not about bloody orgasms it's about hugely long cycles and shit sex. Shit sex doesn't end in orgasm, usually, so please come back when you actually have a clue.

If you are TTC you do what you can and if that means 'finishing off' afterwards to increase the chances...

Sorry you feel it is insensitive - I was 12 hours post general anaesthetic after having a surgical management so maybe not quite firing on all 12

I would have thought the thread title told you it was nothing to do with orgasm