10 months ttc- feeling demotivated!

[Tessietess]

We've been ttc now for 10 months and have not even had a hint of a bfp. I feel as if we have tried everything in that time: smep, preseed, vits, changing diet, plain relaxing.

I'm 33 and just feel as if it's impossible! Please give me some motivation and success stories! I should say we're going to the doctors as soon as we hit the 12 month mark and have never been on hormonal contraceptives so always had regular cycles. tia

Not sure this will be motivating but DD took 20 months and one miscarriage, number 2 we are now at 20 months again and one miscarriage. Sometimes it can take a while and some form of treatment.

But DD is leaping all over me right now and proof that even though it can be a struggle most people do get there in the end!

Thanks Salty, definitely good to hear. Did you think there was an issue during that time? I hate feeling so powerless...

We went for tests at a year, had an HSG and they said even though my cycles seemed to me to be normal (but long, about 35 days) I wasn't ovulating. I was due to start clomid but fell pregnant naturally that cycle.

It's awful though, every month waiting and anticipating while everyone seems to be making announcements. I really wanted a small age gap between children so it is almost hitting me worse this time.

I'm due to see my consultant in a few weeks time.

Tessie, I'd go to the GP now and just say that you've been trying for 12 months. I went after 6 months and lied. The referrals can take a while ... then the tests that have to be at the right time of your cycle ...

Re a success story, I went 20 months without so much of a sniff of a BFP, then astonishingly got one last month (I'm 7 weeks now).

All our tests were generally clear but I do have mild PCOS. I tried a fertility monitor, pre-seed, inositol, cutting down on drinking blah, blah. Didn't seem to make a scrap of difference. I needed strong pharmaceuticals! Clomid is the obvious one but Tamoxifen (pretty identical to Clomid) worked for me first cycle. I'm 36 by the way.

Hi Tessie, there are certainly a lot of people here who understand exactly what you are feeling so please don't feel alone. I went to the doctor after 8 months TTC and told a white lie. Crumbelina is right, it takes aaaaages and after 13 months of tests and waiting, I have only just now been given Letrozole (like Clomid) and put on the IVF waitlist.

Don't forget that one of the most important tests is for your partner. He will do a sperm analysis pretty quickly to check the count and motility is OK. Women often talk about their cycles, hormones etc and take infertility upon themselves to worry about!

Some background on us: I'm 34 in a couple of weeks (DH in June) and been off birth control for 25 months, although properly trying for 20 months and never a bfp. All our tests are fine, although my day 21 equivalent progesterone results always come in a bit borderline and I have a short luteal phase (indicating that ovulation probably isn't great). Last month was first on letrozole and luteal phase increased from 8 days to 12 (although we couldn't TTC due to travelling with work last minute.. grrrr! )

From the answers, I think you'll see that most of us get there! Maybe not exactly how you thought or in the timeline you gave yourself, but you'll get there in one way or another. I know you don't want to hear it (and I was EXACTLY the same at 10months), but it really isn't a long time to have been trying, I promise. Keep at it, ring the doctor and just go with the flow regarding the next steps... there's not much you can control anyway so may as well carry on living your life :-) xoxo

Thanks guys, it's just nice hearing from people who were in the same position. I might try and book an appointment as soon as I can then, at least I will feel as if I'm doing something. Do you think it's likely there is something wrong then or could it just be taking some time?

Hi tessie. We were ttc for 20 months. Again, told a White lie at docs re how long we'd been trying (said 12 months at 9 months). When we got our BFP I had just had a laparoscopy and our ivf consultation appt was 10 days away.

I am now on maternity leave 38+4. Hang in there!! Me the month we got our BFP I'd done everything you mention - vits, off alcohol, caffeine, pressed, smep, reflexology WVERYTHING ... But honestly I think it just sometimes takes time.

Good luck and hold on!!

I'm on month 13. Saw the GP, have had day 5 bloods but GP says there is no point in day 21 as my cycle is too short. Had ultrasound done which was fine.

Husband is doing sperm sample this week and then being referred to fertility clinic with the hope of trying some clomid!