Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Where you financially stable??

36 replies

kelman13 · 07/03/2015 09:49

Hi,
after a little advice please! My partner and i have been together for 3 years love each other very much! We have decided to ttc very excited as have been broody for well over a year! We have had a few financial ups and downs! so wondered if you guys were financially stable when you tried ttc?
I feel I'm ready for a baby I am currently a step mum, god mother and my job is nannying 4 children would love one of my own! cheers guys

OP posts:

ShanghaiDiva · 07/03/2015 09:57

Yes - had no debts and about 40k in bank. Good idea to start saving now( if you can) to cover drop in income and additional expenses.

dashoflime · 07/03/2015 10:01

Sort of. We didnt have a lot of income but we had no debts and a secure place to live. In general- ive gone the route of trying to keep fixed costs to a minimum rather than trying to build up savings. That way- I know we could get by on less if we had to and any fleeting good luck is the icing on the cake.

Higheredserf · 07/03/2015 10:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

kelman13 · 07/03/2015 10:16

I'm 28! so feel now would be a good time!

OP posts:

Oysterbabe · 07/03/2015 10:17

We are yes. We own our house and have done our sums to make sure we'll be able to afford reduced earnings then nursery fees.
That said my sister certainly wasn't and they found a way to get by, people generally do. It depends whether you can cope with the worry that money troubles bring.

SeldomAthleticFC · 07/03/2015 10:22

If I waited til I had £40k in the bank, I'd never have had kids! I have no debts but hardly any savings either. I work part-time but couldnt afford to live without child benefit, tax credit and housing benefit. I don't get a penny from my feckless exH (but at least I no longer have to keep him too!)
It depends what's important to you. I hardly spend anything on my kids' clothes because I have 2 sisters with older kids and get their hand-me-downs. And friends lent me a cotbed and a buggy. Breast feeding for nearly 6 months saved a fortune in formula (obviously not everyone can). Our holidays are usually staying with relatives or camping.
My kids get fairly expensive presents and new clothes from their Nanny so I don't think they're too hard done by!

Runningupthathill82 · 07/03/2015 10:30

Depends what you mean by "stable." I had a permanent job when we decided to try for DS, DH was unemployed, but we could get by on my salary if we were frugal.
Household income of £25k, no savings. Anyway, we did it, with DH taking in the role of a SAHP.

Times were, and are, difficult financially. We can't afford holidays, we have a 15-y-o battered car and a small house. All our baby stuff, inc the car seat and cot and buggy, was second hand. We spent less than £20 on DS (now two) at Christmas, for example.

But we have food and a home, and DS is loved and well cared for, which I think is all that really matters. Hence why we're ttc DC2.

SeldomAthleticFC · 07/03/2015 10:37

Ha, Running - my trusty old Mazda is 15 years old too!

LadyCassandra · 07/03/2015 10:46

Yes with first and no with second. Had PND with second which I know was caused by financial stress.

However there is a difference between being on the breadline and worrying about losing your home, and being financially stable.

Nolim · 07/03/2015 10:47

Yes

MyNameIsSuz · 07/03/2015 11:11

We were, then dh lost his job when the baby was about 6 weeks old. You can't plan for everything!

AuntieDee · 07/03/2015 11:11

Yes and planned. I imagine when LO arrives though we will no longer be financially stable...

Artandco · 07/03/2015 12:31

We were yes. I didn't want to have constant money worries with children. But obviously things can change so not always a guarantee, but at least starting out half decent is better imo

We wanted to have a secure home ( we rent, but knowing we could afford on one wage if needed), secure enough jobs ( both would get a hefty redundancy now if ever left), and enough we could afford luxuries of life experiences ( ie not just stay at home for years with odd trip to park)

NoArmaniNoPunani · 07/03/2015 12:35

We are TTC at the moment. We both have good incomes but do have 10k of credit card debt. I'm 33 and feel time isn't on my side to wait until the debt is cleared. We'll manage, I think we are in a better position than many people who have children

whattheseithakasmean · 07/03/2015 12:39

No - happily married but recently located for my job & renting a one bed flat Nearly 18 years later, I wouldn't change a thing. Babies need very little, apart from love.

We had are tough times, but that is how it usually is for young families starting out. We are now stable with all the middle class trappings which is just as well, because teenagers cost a fortune (be warned!)

Wisteria1979 · 07/03/2015 12:54

Even if you are "stable" things can still happen unfortunately, like redundancy. Plan it out, factor in loss of income and childcare, be prepared for frugal years ahead but like pp said, babies don't need a lot and it can be done on a budget if you are careful. Having said that I probably wouldn't want to ttc without a securish roof over our heads and the ability to cope at least short term on one income.

Momagain1 · 07/03/2015 13:14

We began our marriage extremely financially unstable, and with my dd's from previous. We didnt add to our family until his career was settled and we were out of debt, besides our mortgage. Savings were minimal, but with no debt we felt we were on the road to savings. We were also done raising my DDs, one had moved out, the other was graduated from HS.

I would have tried when we were nearly at this point, but dh had his own mental issues from his childhood relating to money and stability. He became the absolute poster boy for correct condom usage after I decided I had been using HBC long enough and that I was open to the greater risks of other BC. His determination toward financial stability was immense and impressive. If he hadn't aquired a wife and dd1&2 in graduate school then no doubt he would be a truly wealthy man. As it is, he's done fine considering his childhood and the instant family he took on at age 23.

I would say, especially if you are under 30, it is well worth putting even just 1 year of concerted effort at living frugally, building savings, and getting his career/earnings UP before ttc. Live on just his income, and save every penny of yours. That gets you used to the reality of your lives post baby, when your earning ability will be reduced or cancelled entirely for some time. Plus gives you savings.

Or, don't. Most families muddle through and things work out well enough.

Good luck, either way!

Original poster

kelman13 · 07/03/2015 18:03

Thank you for the info! Will sit down and have a closer look at finances! I'm planning/hoping little one would come to.work with me as my boss is happy when my step daughter comes in holidays! If not grandparents are available so that would keep childcare costs down!

OP posts:

whattheseithakasmean · 07/03/2015 18:33

I think there is a lot to be said for doing it relatively young. I was 29 with my first, which was old back in the day but would seem quite young now. It meant I was strong and fit and able to work up to my due date and DH and I have had years with the health and energy to work hard to provide financial stability for our family. A baby is a big incentive to buckling down, so we really built up our financial stability after we became parents.

MrsWatts · 07/03/2015 20:24

Yes, we felt it was very important to be financially stable before bringing a child into the world. We'll never be wealthy; I'm a primary school teacher and my husband is in the Army; but we're a good way into our careers and debt free. We don't want to scrimp and save when it comes to our child. He/she won't be at private school or anything, but we'd like to have a comfortable life and not be worrying about finances.

OhFlippityBolax · 07/03/2015 21:28

No. Not in the slightest when I had my first! Two ex students in a rented studio flat and burdened with debt.

Focusfocus · 08/03/2015 08:56

Yes, absolutely.

Pregnant with our first, I am just turned 30, he's 32. We are married, own our own house, both have stable, permanent jobs In public and private sector respectively with a household income of £80k a year, before tax.

We are equal earners and we had a conversation with a spreadsheet, looking at local childcare price ranges, household expenses etc before we conceived and were surprised by the expenses that pile up. We also established that I, in public sector, am on a progressively upward career path and upward salary spine and he is static but stable in his long term private sector job so affordability long term is fine. Once we had that established we started TTC and immediately conceived first month so there is no looking back!

DizzyNorthernBird · 08/03/2015 09:06

DP and I don't have any savings but we've worked hard to clear a lot of debts and we own our own home. We earn decent enough money between us and have done the maths to make sure we'd have enough to see me through up to about 9 months of maternity leave. I wouldn't wait until you are financially in a position to start ttc though, we waited about 2 years (been together for 4) and I'm now 35 and although it's only cycle 4 now of trying I certainly feel like the pressure is on because of my age and wanting more than one child. Thought I'd get pg straight away so I'm now regretting all that time lost waiting to sort out money first.

IfYouWereARiverIdLearnToFloat · 08/03/2015 09:20

We are TTC now - the two of us have been working our butts off to pay everything off that we possibly can so direct debits will be minimal while I'm on mat leave - and we're saving money for all the baby essentials. Together with paying a big chunk off our mortgage in the summer I'm hoping we won't really have to tighten our beIts too much as we've done the hard work beforehand.

Goal is to get to a point where we can live solely on DHs wage - so my mat pay & part time wage when I go back to work is what we save every month.

Ragwort · 08/03/2015 09:22

Yes - but we had been happily 'child free' for many years and having children wasn't really something that we had expected to do - as agreed before we got married . By the time DH had changed his mind and persuaded me we were both in our 40s and in a comfortable financial position. I also made it clear that if we had a child I would give up work - not because I was devoted to bringing up a child but more because it seemed a genuinely nicer way to live without the stress of combining work and looking after our child. .

Flip

1 2