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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Does anyone know you are ttc

24 replies

thinkingaboutit · 26/10/2006 15:05

Hello,

dh and i are planning on starting ttc after Christmas. I am very excited about but don't really want to tell anyone our plans as i know it could not go accordingly! However, people (particularly my bf) keep asking and probe at my vague answers. Have you told anyone?

tai

OP posts:

rubles · 26/10/2006 15:09

I did only because I had a m/c so told them about that. I wouldn't if I were you, because they can't seem to stop themselves from asking every fortnight if you are pregnant yet. That can get stressful if you don't have any success for a few months. Personally I'd make up some story about starting to try next summer to take the heat off you. Depends if you're a good liar or not though.

AnguaVonUberwald · 26/10/2006 15:13

1 friend and my mother! Non of DP's friends or family! I don't want questions about how its going etc.

Also don't plan to tell anyone else till about three months in. Thats if we manage it!

AnguaVonUberwald · 26/10/2006 15:13

As in, manage to conceive.

desperate2bmum · 26/10/2006 15:52

i am with rubles with this one, i had a m/c so friends and family are all fully aware we are going at it hammer and tongs and constantly get bombardede with are you pregnant yet?! etc.
its very annoying.

ready4motherhood · 26/10/2006 16:01

I have told a couple of really close friends and my best friend. Not told my mum or MIL as they would be on our case all the time...

Oh yeah - and all you lovely ladies know

screamsprout · 26/10/2006 16:10

The down side of not telling people is that when you do conceive, people ask if it was an accident! Charming!!

pinkranger · 26/10/2006 16:26

i told ever one 1sttime round and we told everyone 2nd time round but unfortantly that pregancy ended in a m/c, people know that we will be trying again at some point ~( we are ) but we are not going to tell them and we wont be telling them when we get our bfp until 12 weeks!!

Bodkin · 26/10/2006 17:37

I'm telling everyone who enquires, which is most people as DD is nearly 3!!! "Any plans for a sister or brother..." etc. Can't be bothered to lie, and it seems to shut them up, although they get all excited if I order a decaf or non-alcoholic drink. Will tell straightaway when/if I do get a bfp - waited until 10 weeks with DD and it was ridiculous - buying non-alcoholic lager and pouring it into Becks bottles at parties...., lying to close friends does not seem the right way to start the most exciting/nerve-wracking time in your life. But that is with the benefit of hindsight

Whatever you feel comfortable with is right for you.

Rachee · 26/10/2006 18:29

i am a hairdresser, so i TALK to everyone. Everyone ( men inc) know i am TTC, and have been for 2 years now, and had one m/c. I felt talking about it makes others aware that you or they, are not alone. ( and come on, talking about it isn't going to bring bad luck, it might happen even if you haven't told). Many have problems TTC, and some m/c ( stats now say one in three) !. I will keep on talking, i would hate to keep such a big secret. It doesn't hurt for others to know your ups and downs.

But i do find the question - are you? - very funny, really they are saying ' had sex recently' ! LOL

xXx Good luck, we all deal with it different.

Original poster

thinkingaboutit · 27/10/2006 09:58

Cheers all.

Bodkin - I understand where you are coming from with the can't be arsed hiding it when you are preggers. Everyone is watching what i drink and I almost feel i have to binge drink to prove them wrong (I don't though). I will continue to be mysterious for a while longer.

Thanks

thinkingaboutit

OP posts:

Natty1806 · 27/10/2006 10:11

This is interesting as me being miss organized told most friends my plans to start trying 7/8 months before we did, i never really kept being asked, i did everynow and then but not really a big deal IMO. Anyway after 6 months i started to go for tests etc and because my friends and family knew we were trying it was much easier to tell them we were having a few problems, and they have supported me loads and it means i can talk to them about things when i am having a crap day or the drugs that i am on make me moody. I also think that i would tell close friends and family when we get our BFP as i will need them for support should it not plan out. If something is going to happen it does not matter if you who you told it would have happened anyway so i agree with Rachee on that one.

I am a very open and honest person and can never keep anything about myself secret.

Am sure you will do what feels right for you, everyone is different after all. x

MrsMcJnr · 27/10/2006 12:38

Thinkingaboutit - I know what you mean about people watching you and it does make you want to order the pate, blue cheese and drink more!! I am terrible at keeping secrets, really bad. When I texted my Mum last night to tell her my BF was pregnant and that she had not told her Mum yet, mind exclaimed at how she could have kept the secret - doubt I'd be able to keep something as exciting as a BFP from my Mum!

Babymad2DS · 27/10/2006 12:55

We told every one we were planning TC when DS2 becomes 3yrs, DS2 is now 4 1/2, been TTC now 17 months and feel like I'm letting everyone down! I wish we would of kept it to our selves, as every time we see family and/or friends they ask "are we PG yet"? the realisation of how long and the fact that we are not PG yet, hits me/us every time we have to say "no" and it hurts!

ready4motherhood · 27/10/2006 14:28

Oh no, Babymad... don't feel like you are letting anyone down! ((hugs)) It will happen when the time is right!!!!!

Natty1806 · 28/10/2006 09:53

Babymad, don't feel like that if they ask just say 'having a few problems' soon shuts them up. I read on another thread a while ago someone always said, my eggs have shrivled up and i am barren!! What can they say to that.
x

Babymad2DS · 28/10/2006 10:43

ready4motherhood & Natty thanks for your concern. DH family are okay they know what we are going though, but it doesn't help when they say it's because we are thinking about it to much, it's okay for them they only tried a few months before they got their PG's. My gran every time she asks it's the face she pull's when I say no, disappointed but she doesn't even try to hide it, it's like that disappointed face is there for our benefit, and she really does make us feel like we are inadequate! But it's the parents at school mostly they ask me everyday, this week I'm going to say We are having a few months break, I think, yes that's what I'll do! > LOL!

Mirry71 · 28/10/2006 14:29

I told some of my friends but not my mother because I know every week that I ring her there would be the expectant pause...and I couldn't bear it. Anyway am now hoist with my own petard. Have been trying since Dec, got nowhere and am going to the docs next week. In the meantime my sister announced last month she is 3 months pregnant - whcih is fabulous news - but makes me feel that I can't tell anyone in the family about the difficulties DH and I are having because it is her time, and the grandparents-to-be are naturally so ecstatic. The worst thing is that i feel jealous of her - and really hate myself for being so. I never thought I would be such a mean person.

ready4motherhood · 28/10/2006 14:41

Mirry71 ((hugs)) It's perfectly natural to feel jealous if other people get pregnant when you have been trying! You are not mean!!

It may well be the perfect opportunity to tell your family you and DH have been having difficulty conceiving when they say "you'll be next" ... which now your sister is pregnant, they probably will.

And telling people doesn't mean you are taking away from "her time"... you never know, your sister might have some tips to share!!

good luck with the doctors, lots of babydust x

coggy · 28/10/2006 14:46

Mirry you are NOT mean...just normal!!!

Honestly.....we all feel jealous every now and again...especially when it comes easily to some and not ourselves.
Don't worry about feeling bad.....just accept it and move on.

It'll be your turn soon I'm sure.
X

Most people are too polite/scared to ask us so they ask my close friends instead!!!

IMO if you want to keep the first few months of your BFP quiet then don't tell people that you are ttc otherwise you will have to lie at some point IYSWIM.

coggy · 28/10/2006 14:47

LOL....Mirry it MUST be true cos Ready4 and myself were typing that at the same time!!!

Now you just HAVE to believe us!!!

ready4motherhood · 28/10/2006 15:03

Great minds...

Mirry71 · 28/10/2006 15:06

Tee hee! Thank you both very much

it's really nice of you to be so nice....

Yes I am sure 'when is it going to be you?' is ALL I will get at xmas....although my sister's 4 years younger than me so I think they probably have given up on us! I just don't want everyone choking on the turkey with embarrassment if I say we've had difficulties....!

coggy · 28/10/2006 21:38

I tend to say (to the brave few that ask)....."Well these things don't always happen as quickly as we like do they?" which is probably a bit naff but it's an easy 'catchphrase' and makes people go..... cos there's nothing else they can say without delving deeper (which they don't mostly!!!)

Hey Ready4....it's good being a great mind isn't it??!!

screamsprout · 28/10/2006 21:41

Pregnant women are public property anyway so we may as well start the whole thing early!!

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