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Conception

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Original poster

We want baby #2 but know mil won't be happy

24 replies

carolynolivia · 26/02/2015 08:58

Hello,

As stated in the title my partner and I are desperate for another baby we have discussed it an awful lot and decided we are ready and financial capable of having another, the only problem is my mil we know she will be livid if we tell her I'm pregnant (she is currently pregnant herself) she managed to ruin the birth of our daughter by starting an argument saying I'd planned to be induced so that we couldn't look after her other son on nye. She has tried to stop us getting married saying we don't love each other ect. So as you can probably imagine we are dreading having another baby because of her!! What an earth do we do!?

Tia

OP posts:

TarkaTheOtter · 26/02/2015 08:59

Just roll your eyes and get on with it. Don't pander to her nonsense.

HolgerDanske · 26/02/2015 09:00

Have one and completely ignore her opinion on it since it's actually nothing to do with her?

That's what I would do.

ColdFeetWarmHeart · 26/02/2015 09:03

If you and your Dh want another baby, then have another baby!! It sounds as if you have properly thought it through so no normal person would object.
If mil acts as you expect her to, then distance yourself from her!

ireallydontlikemonday · 26/02/2015 09:04

It's got nothing to so with her!

LifeOfBriony · 26/02/2015 09:04

You and your partner are both ready, you both want it, you can afford it - go for it.

Your MIL should be happy for you.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 26/02/2015 09:05

You need to cut her out of your life.

BaldricksTurnip · 26/02/2015 09:06

Err just get on with having another baby and tell her to do one? Life is too short to pander to people like that.

Honeybear30 · 26/02/2015 09:11

It must be bad if you think you need to ask on here. But honestly? Stop letting her dictate such massive decisions and get on with your life like an adult.

SweepTheHalls · 26/02/2015 09:12

Why on earth does she get an opinion?

ConcreteElephant · 26/02/2015 09:15

Lucky it has absolutely nothing to do with her then eh?

Honestly don't pay her any attention at all, none of her beeswax.

FishWithABicycle · 26/02/2015 09:18

She doesn't get to have an influence on this. If she can't be happy for you then she doesn't have to be a part of your lives.

LowlLowl · 26/02/2015 09:23

I'd say your relationship and your family decisions are YOURS not your MIL's. If she's saying things like that about your decision to have baby #1, it sounds to me like she's got some issues to sort out herself, and you can't run your life around her issues.

I'd suggest you just tell her your decision when you're ready, and if she can't be happy for you then politely distance yourself from her. This is her grandchild we're talking about here after all! If she's in such a mess herself that she can't be happy that she has another grandchild on the way, then so be it.

How does your DH feel about her attitude? I imagine it's a bit hard for him.

CantBeBotheredThinking · 26/02/2015 09:25

Do you live with her?
Do you expect her to look after a baby while you work?
Do you expect her to financially support you?

If the answer to the above are all no then what the fuck has it got to do with her. Do what is best for you not someone it doesn't affect.

Original poster

carolynolivia · 26/02/2015 09:34

Thank everyone that's how I feel, DH is the type of person that likes to keep everyone happy, she even complained that we are looking at nurserys for our daughter who we hope will start in September no to mention that we don't like in the village that she does! It's all very difficult at the moment. And we feel if we do get pregnant we won't be happy like we should be as we just dread everything that will come from her! We hoped she would get off our case now she is pregnant herself but that hasn't happended!

OP posts:

SukieTuesday · 26/02/2015 09:40

Do you live with her? Are you teenagers? If no to both of those, enjoy your life and stop worrying about her opinions.

LastOneDancing · 26/02/2015 09:43

Not that it makes an ounce of difference but are you young OP (as MIL is also having a baby) I'm just wondering if that's anything to do with her attitude to your marriage/ more children.
But I guess that doesnt explain the crazy NYE tantrum.

It sounds like she's the kind of self-obsessed drama queen who would cause arguments in an empty room, so you will never win. Might as well get on and live your lives making yourselves happy instead of everyone else...

Original poster

carolynolivia · 26/02/2015 09:53

We are 22 soon to be 23 and she is 40 had my DH at 17 and her son was 15 on the nye incident so was very capable of looking after himself or going to friends ect.

OP posts:

Ohfourfoxache · 26/02/2015 09:56

Do you live with her?

Original poster

carolynolivia · 26/02/2015 09:59

Nope we live about half hour away :)

OP posts:

Carbonel · 26/02/2015 10:01

I know what you mean about dh wanting to keep everyone happy - it makes life so difficult.
If you have decided this is what you want then go for it. She is his mother so he can handle her tantrums and you can stay well away. If she argues in your house don't invite her again and suggest dh goes to hers. Stress is not good in pregnancy so perfect reason

LowlLowl · 26/02/2015 10:05

In which case, why not move further away still and it will be easier to ignore her!

Seriously though, please don't let her opinions make you unhappy. It is your life to lead, don't let her run a happy time for you and your DH.

Original poster

carolynolivia · 26/02/2015 10:10

Thanks everyone! Makes me feel better knowing that you all feel the same :) was worried I was being stubborn and unfair!

OP posts:

reni1 · 26/02/2015 10:26

Have the baby and ignore her.

Ohfourfoxache · 26/02/2015 10:27

Bloody hell, it really has got fuck all to do with her

Why on earth are you worried about being stubborn and unfair? It's your life and your family. Why would you entertain MIL's opinion on anything, let alone something this important, if she has form for throwing unnecessary strops?

Stay strong - you could always refuse to see her. Make sure you remember that

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