Just so utterly utterly fed up to the core.

[butterflyroom]

Im approaching 40 and having to face the fact that a much wanted second baby will never happen.

Yes, I'm lucky, I'm not childless and have a lovely 7yr old DS from my previous marriage. I've been with my current partner for 5 years and he loves my DS as his own but we would have loved a child between us and a sibling for DS.

I was pregnant last year but lost the baby at 11 weeks. It was a devastating time but I'd read that after miscarriage you can be more fertile so we've really tried to conceive from then on. It hasn't happened. I've had blood tests and other routine tests at the doctors including an ultrasound. Everything was fine apart from an apparently mild problem of having a thick uterus. I've been told that because of my age and DS, IVF is not an option. We would be unable to fund privately.

I just don't know whether to just give up all hope, continue to focus purely on my lovely DS and just get over it, accepting the cold hard truth that after months and due to my age it's not going to happen. Or, is there another path worth pursuing? I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been or is in a similar situation or anyone with advice. Thanks.

I can't offer any advice I'm afraid, but I sincerely hope you find a positive way through this. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you get your chance x

Thanks for your reply x

Butterfly, sorry you are going through this. Why don't you come to the 40+and ttc thread, several of us on there are in a very similar situation, many with a child/children and most of us have had miscarriages (I'm 40, 6yo dd, 1 mc). There is a lot of support there, I find it invaluable.

That is very sad, must be hard for you, have you considered adopting? There are many children in need of a loving environment.

Hi butterfly. I totally know where you are at. I am 44 and we have been ttc #2 for about 18 months now. I really thought that it would happen quickly now that my body knew what to do. I have not even had the slightest hint of a bfp since we have been trying. I started out quite laid back about the whole thing, but I have since progressed to temping, opks etc etc. Nothing has worked. This month has hit me really hard, and I am so fed up.

Sorry - I haven't helped with any advice, but I totally understand your situation so sometimes that helps to know that other people are in the same boat.

From one butterfly to another - I had a mc last oct (12wk scan no heartbeat) and I'm 35, so have an idea how you must feel.
My partner has kids and 2 grandkids (he's a little older than me and his 1st daughter was born when they were 16 n she had hers early too) and I love my step kids n grandkids - so yes I have an amazing family round me but doesn't take away me wanting my own baby.

My advice - don't give up hope - although sometimes people say this to me and when I'm down - like today my phone app telling me about my period!!!! Due today - thanks for that phone app!!!! I guess having been pregnant shows our bodies can do that.

They say positive things happen to positive people so keep positive and hopefully it will happen for you my fellow flutterby xx

Thank you all for your kind comments and positivity. Here's wishing it back on you. Good luck to you all too xxx

Hi Butterfly, this happened to me too and at roughly the same age. Someone told me to try reflexology as it kick starts everything again. I booked a few sessions (one per week) and I fell pregnant within 2/3 sessions.