Dh and I have decided to ttc our (probably ill-advised) third ! Tell me what it's like going from two to three please

[mayaknew]

Well not actively ttc but I need to get the mirena out because it makes me crazy , so we have decided not to use anything else and see what happens .

It's really not the best time for us to have another but tbh I really don't care . I've tortured myself for a year thinking working out ways we could have another but there's nothing I can change in the immediate future so we decided the reasons against don't outweigh our desire for a third and most definitely final child .

But with practicality against us , I'd really love to hear some stories of life with three

Well I think it's fine in fact I would go for four or five if you can afford them.

You are an experienced Mother after two children and I found number three very easy. I knew stuff, such as colic wouldn't last long etc I was relaxed and didn't stress.
Being relaxed made the baby relaxed.
I love having lots of DCs.
I find nuclear families a bit boring.
I know that sometimes it can be a fertility problem but I would never have stopped at one.
My other DCs also helped out and kept each other amused.
They are all adults now and they all get on well.

If I could afford that many I would definitely go for it too but this third one is going to be a tight squeeze but I think it's worth it

Hole what was your age gaps ?

Gosh I would say don't do it! I found the third a huge amount of everything extra!

I don't think anyone can really tell how it's going to be, after all we all adapt and cope differently.

Family support and money to put children in childcare definitely help.

Good luck and I hope it goes well.

I found having my first baby the hardest. Two and three just fitted into family life. I had three under five which is hard work but I did enjoy it. Mine are all primary school age now and they are good company for each other. I didn't find it more expensive when they were little because we handed everything down and weren't paying for nursery. Now it is a bit more expensive than having too but not massively so as we still pass everything on. And it's worth it- having my three children is the best thing I have ever done.

The jump from 2-3 is way easier than from 1-2 also I have a 4 and 6 year age gap with my youngest which adds to the ease as the older two are at school. So essentially I only have one a lot of the time.

I also trust my eldest to entertain dd whilst i'm in the bath (with the door open in a room on the same floor) etc. which helps a lot and he generally adores her.

Things to think about are cars. Can you fit 3 car seats in the back of your car?
I could because we already have a large car but had to check widths of seats before ordering.

If not a new car may be an added expense you hadn't factored into having a third child.

Quitelikely what did you find that was extra? I'm so interested in other people's experiences, I love having two but worry a third might be biting off more than we could personally chew. Specifics would be great if you wouldn't mind?

I did think about the car situation but that will be fine . Dd is a skinny almost-10yo so she will fit nicely in between ds high backed booster and an infant carrier

The hardest with having the third was being insanely tired, but that was partly because DC3 was a pita about weaning and took to waking me up in the night again as she was hungry. I was so knakcered that it was me the HV was worried about, not the non-eating, boob-guzzling tot.

The second hardest thing manifested in various ways, but it amounted to be only one parent heavily outnumbered by three small people who all wanted me NOW! For example, not having enough eyes and hands to keep tabs on them all in the supermarket, but you do learn to deal with that pretty quickly.

The really lasting memory I have was trying to bf the baby whilst crouched on the bathroom floor trying to potty train the toddler and, at the same time, talk to the 4 yr old yammering away in the doorway: 'Mummy! Mummy! I asked you a question!'

If I had had them further apart it would have been MUCH easier. I don't regret them and DC3 is bloody lovely: teenager now, able to hold interesting adult conversations, use the hoover and wash up.

Ah, x-post: you appear to have nice big age gaps. You will not feel like Gulliver being overwhelmed by lots of tiny people.

I have just had my third (8months) there's a six year gap between the two youngest.
Until this one was born I felt I had this parenting thing sussed, I knew how to look after babies.
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
He doesn't sleep, he won't eat, he's a pain but so adorably cute with it.

The older two absolutely love him but I feel massively guilty that I'm missing out on time with them as the baby is so time consuming. I'm also snappy with them as I'm so tired from lack of sleep.
I never really get anytime to myself as there is always someone that wants me, if not the kids then it's dh.

I'm sure things will get easier as he gets older but I'm hoping that my relationship with the older two is not damaged as a result.
I feel that going from 2 to 3 was way harder than 1 to 2, possibly because I have got that larger age gap so was just getting used to life getting easier.

Saying that I wouldn't change it, he's a little ray of sunshine and the whole family adore him, it's just very hard work!

I have dd who is nearly 10 and ds who is 2.5 . There is 7 years between dd and ds and I really don't want that big a gap again . I want another before ds goes to school and ds goes to high school .

I'm in the middle of a nursing degree which I know makes me sound crazy but by the time I finish and then work long enough to get mat leave dd will be well into her teens and ds will be school age so i would be starting all over again . Again !