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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after mc #4

999 replies

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 12/02/2015 14:44

New thread

OP posts:
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15
gennibugs · 19/02/2015 15:24

Amyy I normally do one at 1pm and 1 at between 5-6pm. I have been known to do one in the evening too at about 8pm if I'm expecting a positive.

ladydoc · 19/02/2015 15:43

Sorry to hear that awful news sebs. So cruel.

Chasing - that must have been hard for you. My best friend has just had a baby and I'm plucking up courage to visit. Not easy this stuff is it?

Amyyy27 · 19/02/2015 15:47

Ah, great day to get your BFP! I'm due BFP on 7th so will try and hold out testing until then. I went crazy last cycle and tested way too early and every day up until AF! Lots of wasted tests!

Genni I will go with 12 and 6 then, possibly another 8pm tonight and same again tomorrow... I don't know if its in my head but I feel sort of heavy down there and a weird feeling (but not painful) on my left side. Hopefully a sign O is close!

Original poster
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 19/02/2015 16:03

oh seb I'm so sorry. They seem to recommend natural management by default don't they? If you want something different, give them a ring. At 11 weeks, they should offer you medical and surgical. I'm so sorry for your loss.Thanks Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 19/02/2015 16:04

Long cycles are annoying CD 17 today. Should ovulate tomorrow or Saturday. Have had ewcm for the last few days (usually get it for and a week!).

OP posts:
Romeolovesjuliet · 19/02/2015 16:32

sebs I'm so sorry you find yourself back here again Sad

chasingtherainbow · 19/02/2015 16:33

I'm feeling twingy and just had my first sighting on cm. Can't tell if it's too watery still but either way I'm hoping cd14 is the day

Interesting about doing more than one opk. If I need to which I won't I might give cheapie another whirl alongside the clear blue ones next month. Perhaps they never worked before because I wasn't ovulating/missing it entirely due to long cycles.

Amyy that's fab that we are testing on the same day. I think I'll test on his bday. That'd be an amazing birthday gift. But also worry I'd ruin it/the holiday if it's a bfn because I know I'll be crushed. ..that won't happen. That won't happen. That won't happen ...... repeat repeat repeat

sebsmummy1 · 19/02/2015 17:00

I don't really know if I have it in me to TTC again as there is no peace of mind at all, even when I get pregnant. It's as though the whole process is thoroughly tainted now.

I am standing in Tesco with masses of hugely absorbent pads in my arms. My partner is queuing at the pharmacy to see if he can get me some strong pain killers for the cramps I assume will appear soon.

Funnily enough directly after the scan I went to the toilet and there was dark discharge, first time in the pregnancy, so I think my body has the memo that the baby has died.

I have no idea what i want to do. All options seem to have problems.

What I really want to do is have the surgical option but I am scared that they could scrape too much out and cause that condition where a new pregnancy can't implant. I'm also scared about the pain though and seeing my baby down the toilet. Does anyone know if you can scoop the sac into a tupperware container for them to do testing on in terms of what went wrong? I guess I can ask that tomorrow over the phone.

Fuck I can't stop crying. I've just totally embarrassed myself trying to talk to the pharmacist. I'm such a failure and such a mess.

chasingtherainbow · 19/02/2015 17:08

You are not a failure, this is not your fault and you are not a mess. Get into your jammies, eat what you can, rest and cry and cuddle. . Try not to think forward to ttc again right now. It's only been hours and it's raw and scary. But you are strong, and brave and you can get through this. Speak to the hospital and hopefully you can come to a decision that you feel okay with. My heart absolutely breaks for you. Sad and I wish I could do more than type words on a screen for you. Brew

brickiemum2 · 19/02/2015 17:08

Oh sebs Sad
Have you heard of a procedure called MVA? It's a surgical option done under local but they use a vacuum (just created with negative pressure from a syringe) and so the risks are lower of causing any trauma to the uterus as physically nothing touches it. It's just a soft flexible tube inserted through the cervix. I had it last Friday so if you want you can ask me anything about that.

sebsmummy1 · 19/02/2015 17:15

Brickie that sounds ideal, it hasn't been mentioned to me at all. They basically told me there was no heartbeat, put us on a quiet room and then gave me leaflets. The sonographer said there was no need for medical intervention. I didn't exactly understand what she meant, I said do you mean I can't have a surgical procedure? She said there are other options available to you. Read the leaflets and ring in in the morning so that's how it's been left.

The leaflet talks about surgical under a general anaesthetic, pessary or tablets.

brickiemum2 · 19/02/2015 17:23

It's not as well known or as common yet but it was for me the right option. I did have to push for it and get referred to a completely different hospital to the only surgeon that is doing it locally. It could be worth looking in to perhaps? I won't lie and say it was painless but it was very quick and the lower risk to your downstairs plus no ga risk swung it for me.

sebsmummy1 · 19/02/2015 18:00

The surgery option does talk about a suction device through the cervix and a local, so I wonder if this is the MVA option? Do you know the correct term for it so I can ask tomorrow.

When you said you had to push for it, who did you push with, your GP or the hospital? I seem to have the card of the 'early pregnancy practitioner'.

Original poster
GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 19/02/2015 18:13

I think they are the same but one is with local anaesthetic and one is general.

In my experience, they don't fully present you with the options because the policy is to encourage everyone to have the least medicalised one. This is due to both the expense of surgery and also the risks. However according to the Miscarriage Association, the risks are the same with whichever option you go for (e.g infection, mc not completing and having to have surgery anyway) so it's a question of what you want- whether you want it over asap or whether you prefer to let your body do its thing naturally.
I'm sorry- it's such an awful decision to make. I feel quite strongly that the NHS didn't present me fully with my options. They implied that surgery wouldn't be possible but they actually meant that their policy was to discourage it. I ended up having it anyway after my natural mc didn't complete. The procedure was fine and much easier physically than my natural mc.
I hope I haven't been too blunt. I'm so sorry you are in this situation and I hope it progresses and ends as quickly and easily as it possibly can. Look after yourself.

OP posts:
sebsmummy1 · 19/02/2015 18:18

I have had two early miscarriages in 2014, to be honest the last thing I want right now is to deal with another later one if that makes sense.

I know just under 12 weeks is considered early still but in my mind 6 weeks is early, 12 weeks is going to fucking hurt and I don't want to see the sac and foetus/embryo - whatever it's called if I can help it. I would also like to have it tested if possible. BUT saying all of that I don't want to damage my uterus, so if the only surgical option I'm allowed might do that then obviously I'm going to have to just deal with a natural MC.

It's like trying to decide the best way to break your leg or kill yourself or something. Fucking ridiculous as it's all painful, heart wrenchingly emotional bullshit.

Romeolovesjuliet · 19/02/2015 18:59

sebs if it helps I have had 2 mmc, one in 2011 for which I had the ERPC. Then 2 babies, then another mmc in January. I didn't want another ERPC as I was scared about having the surgery more than once and hated the GA and bein in hospital last time. So I opted for the Misoprostol but it has been far more dragged out, painful and traumatic. With the ERPC I recovered within 7-10 days and actually conceived my daughter that cycle but with the medical mgt I had one failed attempt, the second attempt worked but I ended up in A&E and almost 4 weeks on (6 wks in total from when we found out) it's still not completely over. I do think it was the best option for me as I didn't want surgery again but it has been and still is very difficult and I cannot wait for it to be over! If you haven't had the surgery before I think the risks of them taking away too much are very, very low. But as you say all options have their drawbacks and there is no easy answer.

Gr33dyeggs · 19/02/2015 19:07

sebsmummy Im so sorry reading your post. Absolutely heartbreaking.

Ive had natural mc with mine, 9 and 11 weeks, both at home. I didn't want to fish around the toilet for tissue, but the hospital might give u a sick bowl thing if analysis is important for you. A friend used a nearby potty, and someone else passed in the bath. I'm so sorry you're even having to read these options Flowers.

chasingtherainbow · 19/02/2015 19:10

Seb I understand. When my methotrexate didn't work, I had to decide whether to opt for surgery and almost definitely lose my tube, or have a damaged but repaired one.. but it would be over. .. or have another dose that may or may not work and might still end up with surgery and required a looong drawn out process of weekly blood tests and it was emotionally and physically exhausting and hurtful. It felt like I had no safe or easy choices.

I hope the others who have had treatment you are being offered can help you decide.

People consider different things early. I think 12 weeks is pretty far along and I imagine is a different mc process all together from say 4 weeks earlier like my 1st. Is your husband at home with you? ?? xx

brickiemum2 · 19/02/2015 19:26

Manual vacuum aspiration (MVA) is the name it has under a local anaesthetic whereas under general it is called ERPC or SMM (traditionally it was referred to as d&c but it's really not the same procedure)
Have a look here for info www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/management-of-miscarriage/
and here for info on lower risks etc en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manual_vacuum_aspiration

HeavenKnowsImMiserableNow · 20/02/2015 07:18

Thanks Teenie, I've just done a clear blue test that gave me a BFP Smile. FX that this is my sticky bean!

brickiemum2 · 20/02/2015 07:23

Congrats heaven Grin

TeenieDeenie · 20/02/2015 07:28

Yay! Congrats Heaven, fab news ?? x

chasingtherainbow · 20/02/2015 08:02

Congratulations heaven!

TeenieDeenie · 20/02/2015 09:26

Heaven Was it one of the CB digis that tells you how many weeks? What is your EDD? I will be testing tomorrow as that's when AF is due.... Eeek!

Amyyy27 · 20/02/2015 09:34

Congrats Heaven great news!!

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