its really upset me

[sophiabella]

A few days ago i told my family about how my partner and i are trying to a baby. I had a mc last month n realised more than anything that we would love a baby so much.

my family all responded in a really negative way. My mum said im too young, n i need a 'proper' job and my sisters have all asked why i want one now as though its a really bad idea.

ive been living with my partner for five years, its not like we have only just met. We have our own home and i may not have a great job but i di have one. Its really upset me how i have had to explain myself n justify mu choice. I had hoped for some excitement over it.

their reactions have just really upset me. Has anyone else had anything similar? How do you deal with it?xxxx

Poor you that's really horrible - tbh it's no-ones business but you and your partners. Do what make you happy - your family are being a little judgmental and unfair. I wish you the best of luck and hope you conceive again soon. Take care.x

Thank you x x

Sounds like you are in a good position to become parents, id take no notice of them and carry on. Im sure they'll be supportive once you're pregnant. Im 31 and ttc first and I now wish dh and I could have been in a position to startttrying earlier x

Thank you. I was really hoping they would join in my excitement at trying so its really upset me. I may not have the highest house or best job but a baby will be very much loved

How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

20

Id say that's plenty old enough to know what you want x good luck

Maybe they were just a little bit shocked and were caught off guard.

Try not to let it upset you. They might ring and say 'just seen the cutest little dress/trousers!'

If not - their loss!

You don't have to have a show home and a fantastic job (define fantastic job anyway) bah! Just ignore and rise above it xxx

hi Sophie whilst I personally wouldn't have been anywhere near ready to have a baby at your age (too highly strung, screwed up and selfish!), despite wanting them from a v young age, I wish I'd started trying sooner. I waited to be financially stable, have a house, get on in my career etc. we started ttc 2 years ago when I was 27 and dh 30 for dc1. i lost my job last year and went self employed so have a much lower income, we arent sure if we cam get a bigger house for a baby to go in and we are now going through our first ivf cycle. don't let society or culture or perceptions dictate your life. if you are in a position where you can afford a baby, and are willing to make the sacrifices to do so at your age, then sod them all, just go for it. none of us know what the journey holds, it could be a short journey or a long wait. some people try for more years than we have so far and whilst I hope that's not the case for you it could be. don't waste time like I did fitting the mould.

I'm sorry your family can't see what's obvious, you don't need to be rich or have a posh house to be perfect parents, you need a sense of responsibility, and some maturity but there are irresponsible parents of every age around, my sister is an incredible mother and she conceived at 16 and raised my wonderful nephew alone. I waited until 28 to have my first but now I wonder why we waited so long.

I am guessing your family will come around to the idea, but that doesn't excuse them putting a dampener on what should be a happy and exciting time for you.

Thank you everyone you have helped me to feel better. I am trying to just be focussed on me and my partner and what we want rather than others. Just a bit sad that they are not behind us x