TTC after stillbirth and physical trauma

[VikingRiverCruise]

Hello there,

I am new to MN, so forgive me if there is a specific place to discuss TTC after loss - I can't seem to find my way around.

Nearly 12 weeks ago my daughter was stillborn at 40+4, after a completely straightforward pregnancy. She was my first baby, and we had tried to get pregnant for 18 months before conceiving. I am nearly 38.

We have been completely devastated by our loss and would desperately like to have another baby. The hospital and my GP advised us to start TTC as soon as possible even though I had a c-section. I am not looking for any advice on whether this is "too soon". We know and are agreed that this is the right thing to try for us.

My periods haven't come back, and while I know this is likely to take some time, I wonder if there is anything I can do to help facilitate the process. I know I'm dealing not only with postpartum hormonal upheaval, but also emotional trauma from our loss and considerable physical trauma after a terrible labour and eventual c-section (long story, the climax of which was when the anaesthetic didn't work during the operation and they didn't believe me and just kept going anyway while I screamed - I would not wish that experience on my worst enemy).

So I can see how all that might make my body never want to be pregnant ever, ever again. But I'd like to try to soothe it and convince it to try.

I'm doing the usual things - taking vitamins, avoiding caffeine, alcohol only in moderation. Also drinking grapefruit juice every day and taking guaifesin in the hope of producing good quality CM. I've got an initial session booked with an acupuncturist.

What I'm looking for is suggestions of what has worked for other people to restore periods and fertility after a full-term loss & trauma. Any hopeful stories? Miracle treatments I haven't thought of?

Very little advice, only wanted to say I'm sorry about what happened. Your post struck a chord as I am also in my late thirties and recently had our first child. Now waiting for periods to return to try for the second asap, so just wishing you best of luck with trying again! I hope it happens soon and that everything goes well for you all this time.

Thanks so much. Good luck to you too.

- if you have a read of some threads in "body and soul " you may find some people with relevant experience. Also there's a long running thread called something along the lines of TTC or possibly pg after miscarriage, the best shit place to be (use search function).
All the best.

Hi Viking, a sad but warm hello. I am so sorry you went through this horror and also that you lost your beloved sweet baby girl. It's devastating and completely blows your world apart.

I lost my first baby, a son, almost exactly a year ago at 39 + 3, his cord ruptured and he died 20 hours after he was born. I also had a c section and was told to wait 6 months to TTC, which seems to be the standard conservative advice - although was in the end cleared to ttc around 4-5 months by my consultant. I also struggled to conceive and my son was IVF. I'm now 13 weeks pregnant with my second child, having got pregnant 10 and a half months after my son's birth and death through a frozen embryo transfer.

There is a whole thread for women who've been through late loss, stillbirth and neonatal deaths right here in conception - it's the Angels and Rainbows thread. Do come and join us - you will find many women who've been through the same trauma, sadly, and who can support you as you grieve. We would love to hold your hand through this and will understand the feelings you're going through as we have been through the same pain.

Reported

Just wanted to say sorry for your loss. I myself am in a similar situation. Iv had 2 previous mc's (2010/12) and last year fell pregnant again. Unfortunately I mc at 4wks only to discover it was a twin pregnancy. Sadly twin2 was discovered to be eptopic and after methotrexate which failed it went on to rupture and I almost lost my life. I was devastated & lost all hope but after my release from hospital discovered I was still pregnant with another child. (Miracle? Yes) & very rare. I was diagnosed as having a hetrotopic pregnancy. And all seemed well, but I went into early labour at 26weeks early this year. After a 15hour natural labour my beautiful baby girl was sadly pronounced stillborn. So after 4 pregnancies 3 mc 1 eptopic & a still birth I am emotionally drained & completely devastated. However recently at my 6week check I was given the go ahead to start ttc. I am now taking follic acid again & was advised to try an ovulation and fertility monitor as my cycle has only just returned but may not be as regular as before. Anything is worth a try & I wish you luck health & happiness for the future... x

Am so sorry for your loss. I know the devastation this can cause - my daughter was still born at 41 weeks almost 10 years ago.I still miss her. We started trying more or less straight away and I was pg 5 months later. I don't know how to get your cycle started but once it does I found ovulation kits helpful (only cheap online ones). The next pg was physically okay but emotionally very difficult. I found online forums a godsend. I used SANDS at the time. I hope all goes well for you xxxx