On the pill since John Major was Prime Minister! Any over 35s new to TTC #1?

[NoveltySlippers]

Hi all

I'm 37 (and a half) and of course wish I'd bloomin got a move on earlier.

I'm not yet eligible to join the Elderberry Pavlovas as I haven't been TTC for a year yet. I'm just on cycle one at the moment.

I don't know what my cycles are like yet as I've been on the pill since the year dot (see thread title ).

Any others in a similar situ?

Handholding at the mo would be great as am so new to this. Would be great to know if there are any others just starting out and TTC #1.

I think there was a thread for people in this situ, but the OP got her BFP and so thread disappeared!

Welcome cardabelle - yay. Another one! '96 was the year I started too! I was still listening to Britpop then and I just can't get my head round the fact that I had all those years of (possibly?) fertile loveliness and only now got my arse in gear TTC . Would be great to keep a thread going as we start our journey / somewhere to share new knowledge / moan!

I still can't get my head around things like fertility sticks or monitors. I know some say you should leave off them until you've been trying for a while, though given the 35+ you kind of just want to throw everything at it must remember to take bloomin conception vits

thanks Noveltyslippers! Yes, now we've made the decision, I'm paying more attention to my body than I have in the past 18 years! And when you realise just how many years of it not being the right person or the right time... I'd have to say it's not technically speaking 100% the right /time/ for us now. But it's definitely the right /person/and, biologically speaking - perhaps the only time.

I live abroad on a small island and fertility sticks and monitors are out of the question. I went furtively (small community) into the only half-decent pharmacy to ask about them today. They just looked at me blankly for several seconds then said '...... No.'. So I'll be tracking ov with cm and possibly saliva ferning with a digital microscope... which is neat, scientifically, but proving a practical difficulty, mainly because I don't remember to check till after I've had coffee which I imagine will bias the results.

Totally agree also that taking this decision 35+ means suddenly and very passionately wanting a bfp as soon as possible, very much indeed... DP has been sick (so no dtd recently) but he says he now feels 95% better so ... Although he's totally happy with the decision we've made, I'm sure he's not feeling anything like the urgency I am. Still, early days...

Def let's keep the thread going as we and others starting late learn our way around. At last with 18 years' practice we should have the dtd bit down pat!

at the 18 yrs practice DTD Cardabelle!

Yes, it really does feel like even if you wanted to wait, you just can't at this stage. I'm the same - I started a new job relatively recently, which is definitely not great timing.

I also empathise re being in pharmaceutical desert. I used to work abroad in a rural context and buying deodorant and sanitary stuff was hard enough, nevermind fancier stuff!

My DH also due to have an operation soon, so no DTD for about a month afterwards. I'm telling myself it'll be a good chance to get myself fit and neck those conception vits.

Wondering if there is anything else I should be doing. plans to exercise once last box of mince pies is finished

Hi Slippers I'm 35 and a half and came off the pill (Yasmin) in July and I'm still (not so patiently) waiting for AF to arrive (CD 174 and counting). I started the pill during Tony Blair's first term of office... in fact I met him a few days before the 1997 election when I had a huge crush on him. I got married this year and we decided to start TTC #1 shortly afterwards. I've been on here ever since and found it very friendly and useful :)

I have done the following to help move things along (in no particular order):

• Started eating more protein as I was barely getting enough before
• Dramatically reduced my caffeine intake (7/8 cups per day to one cup of leaded and then unlimited cups of unleaded - don't do what I did and change over night as you will have terrible headaches for weeks on end!)
• Taking folic acid daily
• Using Conceive Plus lube (nice smell, not too slimy, but dries fairly quickly)
• Bought a copy of 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' (must re-read it again now that I know more as I think it will make more sense)
• Downloaded the Ovia app, although it has given up counting cycle days - how rude!
• Bought some cheap OPKs off Amazon and after using them for about a month and getting no line at all, last week I had a few faint lines which I am taking to mean progress (I know the result is still negative, but a faint line has got to be better than nothing at all?!)
• Bought some cheap HPTs from Amazon and using sparingly as a BFN, even when anticipated, is still unpleasant :( Last tested on Christmas Day
• Watching CM and have had EWCM on a few occasions (I never thought I would be pleased to see CM return after stopping the pill!!)
• Been to see my GP twice asking for help: first time she said come back in two months and second time I was sent for blood tests and told to come back at the end of January 2015 if AF has not appeared
• Booked myself and my husband in for a fertility assessment at a private hospital (£175 for checks including sperm and £225 for a scan) and the appointment is three weeks today (yeek)
• Tried my best to maintain my sense of humour and perspective (far easier said than done and being human I do have my bad days when I am frustrated with it all) as I kind of think that if you can't cope with TTC just a few months in, then you're really going to struggle with raising a child as I think all mothers agree that is the hardest job in the world.

I think that's the lot! Sorry this is rather long, but I hope this is useful to others in the over 35s group :) As someone else said, it will be good to be on the journey with others in a similar situation.

Hi Moomin, hope you get some answers soon.

I managed to get the doc to send me for blood tests - just normal health one - thyroid, blood sugar ect and checking prostregen - so that's good.
He did try to fob me off with the standard Nhs spiel of DTD 2 to 3 times a week don't do temping etc and would need to try for 12 months before they would think ere was a problem. I pointed out that it's only 6 months at my age :) and I may have told a little white lie when he asked how long we'd been TTC.
When I got my charts out I think he thought oh no crazy MN nut. But he seemed to think they were Ok as I'm getting AF fairly regular.

I have brought some evening primrose oil as meant to help with CM (only take before Ov) and some B6 as that's meant to help with short LP, but I think I see how things go this cycle before trying them.

Hi NoveltySlippers and everyone else!

I'm 35 in three months; also was on the pill since John Major (97!) until last March, when I finally came off. Had also been on it for acne: first Dianette, then Marvelon (like you), then Yasmin. Was terrified of coming off as every time I'd tried previously - testing the waters for a few months - my skin had been hideous. It's rough having spotty teenage skin in your 30s! Anyhow this time has been ok - manageable. My skin is not as good as it was on the pill - at any one time I always have a few spots - but it has not been the terror of the past. Just to give you hope!

Been "NTNP" since March. Cycles returned within the month. More painful than I remembered (especially at ovulation - had never even heard of ovulation pain before!) and very short (2 days per month) and VERY light. However my cycle length is consistent ( 30 days ) and periods are regular, and I have been reassured by the doctor that this is more important than period length or heaviness!

Good luck to you anyway; seems it's more than normal to be on the pill for more than 15 years these days! Hope you have an interesting time getting to know your body, as I have!

Thanks Purple I'm glad we'll find out more about where we stand soon. I have got a copy of my blood tests to take with me and they are all apparently normal, but not sure how they can judge that in relation to LH (2 iu/L) and FSH (9 iu/L) when they don't know where I am in my cycle? I have been taking B6 for almost as long as I've been on the pill to keep me sane! Fx for you :)

Happy New Year all! Here's to 2015 being a good one for us all!

Sorry for my delayed reply, we went away for New Year's Eve and no reception.

Moomin at your TB crush. That's very funny - I was at Uni in London at the time and went down to the South Bank in the early morning of the election to see them all dancing to Things Can Only Get Better! (That seems like only yesterday and a million years ago, simultaneously!)

Thanks loads for all the tips, that's very helpful. I think I'm going to go into 'my body is a temple mode' (far from the truth at the mo) to try and get as healthy for pre-conception as poss. Giving up caffeine is a new year's res - dreading it but may wean off slowly via green tea first.

I'm sorry about your AF and really hope your fertility appointment is helpful. If it's any consolation, mine have gone completely bonkers but in the other direction. Since coming off the pill a month ago today I've had the withdrawal bleed and now TWO periods. Got another one yesterday. Having a period every two weeks is going to be pretty useless for conception - so hoping it stops soon .

Purple - really glad your doc has sent you for tests. At least that's a start. Can I ask how many months you'd said you were TTC roughly? I may have to be slightly 'creative' when I tell mine too. I have a friend who's a GP and he tells me it's standard policy to tell patients to wait (about anything - coughs, fertility, whatever) because if they tell the patient to wait and come back things often do sort themselves out, but at this age as you know waiting forever has implications.

Hi Lopey - your post has given me lots of hope, thank you!

I've just read so much about how the acne comes back with a vengeance so am really pleased to hear that's not always the case! I've had three small and manageable spots in the last four weeks and am just overjoyed that so far the painful cystic types that stay around for weeks haven't reappeared yet. Am considering low carbing a bit (not to boot camp levels, just not the mountains of bread and pasta I usually eat), just to see if that helps with insulin spikes and possible related acne.

I'd never heard of ovulation pain either before these last few weeks . I'm going to try and find that documentary and will link here if I manage to!

NB. Does anyone have any other new year resolutions related to TTC?

Mine are:

• cut down to green tea only, then hopefully just one green tea a day

• add 30 mins walking a day by getting off train earlier to work

• start taking conception vitamins daily (as opposed to randomly)

• learn how to find out when I'm ovulating

• try to have more fun and keep on top of both job work and house work = less stress

• use my local park more - green spaces must be good for the soul and I forget mine exists

• actually learn to meditate after about ten years of saying I will!

Oh yes, and uh, have sex?

I don't normally do New Years resolutions - but I think I will just try to stay positive and not get stressed :)

Joining MN will help now I have people I can talk to who won't think I'm nuts.

I told doc came off pill in July (which is true)and he may have assumed that we have been Ttc since then (which is not true ). So that's five months.

If I waited 6 months then I'll be 6 months closer to 40. So least I 'm in the system now.

Sounds sensible Purple!

And excellent re doc's assumption...you didn't even have to fib

Do you know what happens when you turn 40? I keep reading different things about the point after which the NHS won't help you.

Yes - you are deffo free here to moan as much as you like without people thinking you've gone nuts. Looks like not only have my periods gone beserk but my emotions have too. I almost shed a tear at the end of the last episode of Miranda!

Hopefully none of us will need this but this is the NHS guide on IVF.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/IVF/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I have discovered I have emotions too since coming off the pill. Watched The Help last night just about blubbed all the way through. Good film if you haven't seen it.

Purple! Oh my god thank goodness I'm not the only one.

I was a blubbering wreck when they fired the old lady near the end. Inconsolable! Then again over the stolen silver incident. My DH thought I was nuts. He took some persuading to watch it as well as he thought it had Sandra Bullock in it and was a rom com

Thanks for the link - v helpful will read it now!

Ooooh, that reminds me, I need to watch the last episode of Miranda! Hmmm, quite tricky as dh will refuse to watch it! I watched first one on NYE while he was still at work and felt emotional enough with that one! Looking forward to it!
I'm trying to make some non TTC New Years resolutions after my 2 months of stress. Christmas was great cos with family here and food to prepare no time to think about it except one cry after my sister left with her 8 week baby, but I think they were happy tears too!
General health resolutions obviously apply to everything so I am aiming for 5 a day and drinking loads of water.
I like the idea of trying to stay on top of housework and stuff, ours isn't too bad because we had to clear up stuff so there was room for everyone at Christmas but I still haven't got round to doing all the washing of linen etc after their stay, and spare bed still up instead of being a sofa. I might aim for a little housework everyday then I won't get that awful overwhelmed feeling I had before Christmas!
dh and I are making plans for at least one night away a month, obviously I'd like this to be in fertile time, but actually it doesn't really matter as long as we get quality time together and I can try to relax!
I will continue my yoga and golf. May well buy a yoga DVD to carry on the good work outside of class.
Sorry, not sure anyone else will care about these, but it's helped me to write them down!
Cardabelle I had pretty horrible periods before my Mirena, and since having it out they have been heavy, for 2 days, then three days more manageable, but certainly not worse than before, just a complete shock to the system! Hope yours come back regularly and not so stressful!

Hi scottishbride yes, writing things down helps me too. It's like you've publically declared your intentions!

Well I've stuck to my green tea one - yet to work on the others!

(Does anyone even know how important it is to give up caffeine while TTC anyway? I know during pregnancy you should but not sure about TTC).

My DH watched Miranda and even chuckled once (or twice), but it was very much under protest conditions!

Erm, publicly, not publically (which kind of reads like pubicly).

Aaaah, Miranda got him in the end, whoop!!
I've been a bit rubbish at those new year resolutions, except the yoga and golf - even went for extra golf practice at the weekend, but struggling with the fruit and veg a bit.
Been reallly busy at work and that has been really good to keep my mind off TTC, it sounds strange but I think my best chance at getting pregnant is to not think about it too much, if at all! I'm still taking my vitamins and trying to walk more, but that is general health and well being anyway!
I did give the kitchen a massive tidy at the weekend and now its messy again - this is why I hate housework. O,well, it's the spare room's turn this weekend!

Regarding caffeine, I think NICE (the health guidelines people) would say that it is not important and does not affect fertility - apparently one of my friends was having IVF and when they first went, there was a hot water tank in the waiting room and lots of herbal tea, then the NICE guidelines came out saying no effect on fertility and now there is a Nespresso coffee machine!! I think it's less than 2 cups a day when pregnant though. I've just tried to cut it out and now coffee tastes really bitter to me so I"m a bit of a herbal tea convert and never thought I would say that!!

Yeah scottishbride I think we're OK with the caffeine for a while - need something to keep us sane.

I'm so confused after last month it seems this month ov'd on cd12 - and so due DH shifts completely missed it.

Not got blood test til CD22 hope AF doesn't turn up before then.

Hello scottish and purple. Lovely to hear how you're getting on. Yes, Miranda got him! Yay!

Your posts about caffeine couldn't have been more timely. I'm really struggling with the reality that is being back at work after Xmas, so today and yesterday treated myself to two gigantic Americanos from Costa. Enjoyed them soooo much!

As for my other resolutions, been equally so far (apart from conception vits - have been good with those). I really want to get moving to stop myself feeling so sluggish, but it's just too bloody cold and dark outside to exercise. So this eve was moaning about it to DH and he suggested an exercise DVD. I've tried one in the past and managed about two sessions. Have any of you guys had good experiences?

*Purple+ I empathise - I still don't yet have a clue when I'm ovulating.

Hi I hope no one minds me posting. As I am marrying to conceive number 3 but I'm ancient at 39.

I have found the clear view or is it clear blue? Ovulation thing fab. I def know from it when is best to DTD.

Just waiting on it working!

Hi helen welcome. Is that the clear blue digital thing?

I don't know anything about how they work and it was on my to do list once I figured out what my cycle was (going beserk at the moment). Can you explain how they work / what you have to do with them?

Hello purple, I agree, we have enough to worry about without caffeine as well tucking into the last chocolate tree decorations!

Novelty, I understand about the getting moving thing! It's hard on your own as well - I took DH on a few massive walks over the Christmas break, but he's been ill this week so I've hardly been out at all - or if I have, it's been in the car! I'm going for as many long walks as possible at the weekends, but really should try 30mins a day - Oooo, I have my golf lesson later though, that counts as exercise, and I went to yoga on Tuesday

The only exercise DVD I've ever done is Gillian Matthews 30 day shred, I did it at least 4 days a week leading up to my wedding, and went running on top and I did get really toned which worked out well for my new honeymoon bikinis!! Not done it since though and a bit worried about getting too overheated when ttc. Might get a yoga DVD as I said before.
Could you join an exercise class at a local sports centre? Good luck!

I think I'm doing OK with the staying positive and not getting stressed though!