What essential advice would you give to a complete TTC newbie?

[NoveltySlippers]

Hi all

I just came off the pill yesterday after being on it for a Very Long Time. I'm now in a place where I can start TTC and I'm feeling overwhelmed by this new 'world', and don't know where to start!

I'm finding my way round the acronyms by googling but there are things that I keep seeing that I didn't even think about / wasn't really aware of before (eg. no soft cheese!).

What do you think are the key things that someone who's just starting TTC should know?

eg. I know I should take vitamins, but not sure what kind.

I've just had to google OPKs to find out what that means, so that's the kind of knowledge level I'm at now!

N.B. I'm in my mid to late 30s so time is of the essence - I need to get with the programme! (You may wonder how I got to this age without knowing all this stuff, and I'm asking myself the same question! )

Kez - are apps 'banned' on the JS thread?

NewEra - thank you!

I'm going to have to save that advice. I absolutely had no idea about any of that and would've been unlikely to discover it myself being supremely unobservant.

Sadly your description is reminding me of things I kind of remember noticing before my rampant decade and a half long pill consumption. Hope it comes back!

Don't let it take over your life. It can be completely all consuming.
I would use something like fertility friend to chart your AFs.

Being over 35, give it 6 months then see your GP if you don't get anywhere. It seems like a short time but it gets the wheels in motion and means that if you need help you'll have less time to wait.

I'm 39 now and spent 4 years TTCing. I have just had my final round of IVF and I'm so glad I went to the GP after 6 months.

Join us on the Elderberry Pavlova Thread (the name comes from elderly primigravida which it the term for a woman over 34 pregnant for the first time). There are a lot of old hand there full of good advice. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2228595-Roll-up-Roll-up-Mount-those-uni-cycles-and-shake-those-pom-poms-The-Elderberry-Pavlovas-are-drumming-away-in-the-hope-of-a-Christmas-clusterdiff-Thread-24?

Don't worry about giving up drink, cheese and all that stuff, the novelty will soon wear off.

Ha - thanks Pipbin - I am definitely an elderberry pavlova!

Will deffo see you on the thread!

Pipbin - while I'm deffo an elderberry pavlova your strict inclusion criteria says must have been TTC for 12 months plus and I'm only on day 2.

Sad face

Shit- Sorry novelty, I forgot about that.
Thing is that a couple of years ago we had a couple of people join who were 'insterdiffers' they started trying and got updiffed within about 2 months.
Those of us who had been there for years got grumpy.
Join us anyway if you like. Or maybe the just shagging thread might be better as we are all talk of IVF and stuff. Best not to think about things like that yet.

You ovulate around 12 days before your period. Have sex every other day in the lead up to ovulation, starting as soon as you feel you can after AF. Good luck!

No worries - will try the JS thread, and obvs if things take a while (likely given my stats) will be seeing you soon!

Thank you fireflies - every other day sounds tiring (my younger self would mock me for even thinking that). Maybe the JS thread could help with that!

It shouldn't be that bad... Maybe 3 or 4 times a cycle... Not that I have the stamina or inclination these days, but I do have the excuse of a lively toddler and am a decrepit 40 something.

Use preseed, order from amazon!

Definitely get an app, I use the free ovia which is quite good and lots use fertility friend which I think is a bit more thorough.

I've been ttc for almost 6 months, not that long really but I definitely thought it would happen a bit faster (am healthy and never been on hormonal bc), so I would say be prepared for it to take up to a yr and this can be perfectly normal and not necessarily mean anything sinister.

Lots of dtd but don't burn out you or your husband! I try to 3 times a week and usually everyday/ every other day over fertile period. Don't be too stressed if you can't over the crucial time, it can be frustrating as you know you will miss a whole month (and my cycles are looong) but it's not worth jeopardising your relationship over! Be romantic and show your dh lots of love, he might feel a bit powerless in it all as ttc mania takes over!! Good luck!

Thanks all - that's good advice. I'll look up preseed!

Yes I'll try and not overwhelm DH with too much TTC stuff - trying to take it slow at the mo. He's 35 and I'm 37 so we should be more than ready. But still feels like a big step when it's not something you've actively done before (TTC - not DTD! ).

Novelty I got knocked up straight away at 37 so I think you'll be fine. Can't get knocked up again mind but that's a whole other thread.

Good luck xx

NewEra - that is encouraging xx

And seriously, if there is nothing after 6 months go to the GP. Get the ball rolling. Hopefully you won't need any help but you can keep going while you are on waiting lists.
I started trying at 36 only to find I had problems. The cut of for NHS help is 40.

I would advise that yes - use a fertility app. It's very valuable to use to keep a record of when your last period was and when the next one is roughly due so you can get an idea of how long your cycles last - useful information to give to your doctor if you find you struggle, and good to know to figure out whether your period is actually "late" or not. But ignore when it says your fertile times are. After a year of trying I started using OPKs (with CBFM) and found out that my actual fertile times were completely different to what Fertility Friend (most popular app it seems) said.

Have sex every other day or so. Take folic acid every day. And enjoy yourself, and ignore how long everyone else takes.

Most areas and GPs will not refer or do any tests unless ttc for 3 years.

The statistics are

BFP 80% 1st year
BFP 93% 2nd year
BFP 97% 3rd year

Get to know your body, adapt a healthy lifestyle and have sex sex sex and more sex.

Good luck

That's not true spanielpuppy - the national nhs guidelines say in the UK that after 1 year of trying without success you can be referred regardless of age. If you are older than its only 5 months.

6 months even.

Most areas and GPs will not refer or do any tests unless ttc for 3 years.

Not true. I was referred after 6 months in accordance with NICE guidelines.

Phew! Just came on to catch up on messages...took an intake of breath when I saw the three years. 6 months sounds much better!

I found the book what to expect BEFORE you are expecting good- I am a planner or a control freak depending on who you ask to describe me! It taught me all the things biology classes didn't do and has a few pages on acronyms!

Sorry that what I was told after trying for 18months.

Your GP is wrong. Go back and force the issue. I was referred after 6 months. Under 35 it is 12 months.