Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Poamfs jelly

Thursday morning. After last nights fiasco I'm not gonna pee too early. As Lil said, my random bleeding could very well have been AF, I have no idea how to differentiate a very very light period with IB (I had one day of the 3 I was spotting where it was red not pink or brown but never enough to leave me...if you get my drift lol).

But I won'#t make the mistake of not using FMU, Thursday is the day!

Incidentally, those of you who are upduffed / have been upduffed, what did you pregnancy nausea feel like (I'm not entertaining the crazies, just curious)?

Yes Lil A year?! You are JSing personified! I am going to try to be more like that. Good for my sanity.

Sounds like a good game plan Jelly!

Morning all. Well I've had a horrible night's sleep. Dreamt that I was marrying someone else as Dp split up with me but I was having a conversation with my mum sayin that I was going to ask him back because he's all I've ever wanted. Woke up in shock but so relieved to see him lying next to me. Urgh, this one is going to stick with me all day.

AF still not here which is making me feel even worse. Going to wear a really nice pair of knickers today in the hope that they get ruined.

Hope everyone's having a better morning than me.

Aww Middles I hate horrible dreams. I had a really vivid dream last night about a car crash, but then DP and I ended up in Middle Earth lol!

Well...

Just done another test with FMU and it's faint but definitely there. OMG.

Please keep your gingers crossed that hyperemesis passes me by this time!

Congrats Commander! :) Stats!!

Yay commander!!! Fab news!

lil can you post a link to red's blog?

jelly for me it was like nothing was edible all you wanted to do was throw up and gagging became second nature!

Great news Commander!

Hmm i feel very different to that Chat, for me it's a contant feeling of almost hunger-like sickness and if I think about it I can feel it rising in my throat, but eating is fine! :)

Fabulous news Commander! So pleased for you :)

Jelly, for me it didn't hit until about 6w, but it's a constant gnawing, rumbling nausea that seems to have settled around my cheeks and sinuses. Lots of belching to accompany but no actual vomiting. The idea of eating is horrible, and nothing feels appetising, yet once I've eaten I generally feel a bit better for a while.

La is having a BABY!!!

Well I'm in the midst of a very normal AF and I'm still symptom spotting haha! Food has tasted weird 2 days this week both takeaways so blatantly just cooked differently to normal, I've had mild stomach pains and bloating on and off for the last couple of weeks where I usually have the constitution of an ox nothing to do with large quantity of aforementioned takeaways am sure and I've been shattered as am studying for exams and having a major lack of sleep. So isn't it obvious that I am pregnant? Of course I don't honestly believe I am pregnant but this TTC malarkey certainly makes us overanalyse every single feeling in our bodies!

I can't work hubby out, he knows we are TTC and is def on board with it but just never mentions it - which is kind of good as I want to keep any hope and disappointment at bay for as long as possible. He doesn't seem to have any questions about how the whole conception thing works and didn't have any comment when I said my period have arrived the other day. Oh except for being disappointed that it came a couple of days earlier than expected and he was wanting a shag haha. I am pleased he isn't more into it in a way - as wouldn't have wanted him to be thinking it was a sure thing in month 1 and then be disappointed. But then I kind of want to talk about it but worry that I will look like crazed baby lady if I mention it when he hasn't! Although having written all this out it makes me realise he could be thinking the exact same thing about me! Maybe I will start a 'so, this baby making business.....' chat with him soon!

Congratulations commander! Hope u don't mind if I hang round here fir bit longer x

Congratulations commander great to see you back. Lots of bfps on this thread.

Wooohooo commander congratulaotns

Chat have you spoken to La?

Bat, it's better that way. Having had DH fully expect to get me pregnant about a week after stopping the pill last time around, and having to manage his disappointment as well as mine...

I'm 11w and still here, whit. Waving pompoms and the like :)

On the grads Fred, purple

Sorry meant Cookie not Chat! Must not sneak read MN in work!

Chat that sounds similar to what I am feeling right now. So bloody random.

I am so excited for La, gonna sneak over to grads thread I think!

Bat, I wouldn't worry about your DH. My DP, though I love him, is far too interested in the whole TTC thing. It makes me feel a bit more pressured because he is SO desperate to have a baby (he tells me every night how much he wants us to start a family). I really wish I hadn't POAS yesterday because now I am convinced I'm not upduffed and it's making me worry more (I am a worrier) so it would be nice for him to be more laid back lol!

Who is our IC queen on here? (as in knows ins and outs of IC sticks)

La huge congrats!!!!! :) How many weeks are you now?

I swear by ICs they work brilliantly and I've used a few shite brands. Tesco's I'm looking at you!

What a relief La! Congrats!

Aw I would love to read reds blog if you feel ok sharing lil. So glad she is doing well. Big wave to you if you are reading red!

jc - like the others have said, just do what you need to and screw the rest. Everyone handles it differently and there is no wrong way. I went to work to take my mind off it but I wasn't worth much.

You are back on it with form purple, keep going. Promising if you DTD Sunday and EWCM yesterday. FX!

Congrats commander, keep calm and keep smiling!

I agree with everything chat said about sickness. Great description! Oh my, the burps! They don't stop! Hopeful for you jelly, when will you put us out of our misery?!

Thursday Dulcet. And every 3 days after that if it's a BFN (stocked up on IC's lol).

Quick question re IC's, does the length of time they take to go white mean anything? I've peed on some that go white in minutes and some that take the full 10 mins (or longer) to go fully white.