Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I just feel numb or a keep bursting into tears. I'm not sure which is better. Feel sorry for my dp. He doesn't know what to do

Cuddling. Lots and lots of cuddling.

Aww poor girl

OK, here it is. But it's the one from this morning, and I'm not sure if that's an evaporation line (it is pink) and I just got a resounding bfn on an internet cheapie.

I don't knoooooow and I'm so scared it's another v early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy

You're not bleeding though? I think you just need to sit tight and try not to over think it yeah right

JC I can't imagine what you are going through but massive hugs :( if u need to rant feel free, nobody here will think anything of it.

commander that looks positive to me?? I can deffo see a line. How long after you peed did you see that line?

You viroids are terrible! I'm peeing on Thursday (not sure who with, indogo?) I signed up for the clear blue fertility trial and the stuff got delivered this week so it'd be amusing if I didn't have to use it, but I have doubts to be honest. I have AF style cramps and wind and slight lower back pain so will see if she shows up tomorrow.

Nope, no bleeding. Lots of cramps though. I can't remember what it was like with DD! Although to be fair I did a total kitten then and got upduffed about 2 weeks after my implant came out.

It came up at less than ten but more than five. The line wasn't so noticeable then.

commander tentative congratulations! Sorry to hear you are cramping but having witnessed many bfp's I think that is totally normal. I think cramping can stay with you for your entire first trimester too and is different in different pregnancies. Try and keep positive lovely.

JC - agree with honey, it's all about the cuddles. You're not on your own.

Jelly - I think cramps are common (like tink says), my best friend has had non-stop cramping since she found out she was pg, so for the last few weeks. Either way, no point overanalysing until you POAS!

jelly how do you sign up for the trials? I looked on the thread at the top of the page and saw an email address but just had a rude response saying 'why are you emailing?'

Oh and hi everyone. I know I should have been pissing on a stick with some of you at the weekend but I was away and lost track. Anyway, I'm still waiting for af to show. On cd36 and had 3 bfns since Saturday. Bit bored of this cycle now.

Fx it's just a late shower middles.

Kez, only symptom I remember was EWCM. It stopped for a few days after ov and then came back.

Middles try this link: uk.clearblue.com/survey

Just fill in the survey and they will contact you in a few days or weeks :)

Thanks Wilma. It just makes you think. ... I sit here thinking every sneeze and twinge is a symptom I don't really, honest ... but actually I (and those still awaiting bfp) may not even have tell tale signs!

Thanks jelly.

I started trying last December and got pg on two occasions. Both times I didn't feel pg at all. The months I didn't get pg, I thought I was, as had kind of heavy feeling in uterus area and a couple of other made up symptoms. Very strange.

Ok I hate DP. He just convinced me to pee on an OPK and a pg test.

OPK was negative (to be expected because of lack of EWCM).

Pg test was BFN! I'm really annoyed because I was certain to wait till Thursday but now I'm convinced I am symptom spotting and it's all in my head! I'm only on CD26, but surely if I am feeling sick and having cramps I should of got a BFP? I'm just so annoyed with him and me! I also didn't use FMU and I've peed about 1000 times today (today is NOT a 2pm first piss of the day type day)!!!

It was also an IC, but I normally see them go white quite quickly. This one took a looooooong time to go white, but not sure if that makes any difference.

Gah! Still, not out till the witch comes singing

Have had a headache on and off for about a week, is that a symptom? Am also fighting flu, but that could just be the time of year...

I am NOT symptom spotting, honest

Gah! We're all going crazy! I think someone needs to slap us with kippers.

Like you say jelly your not out until the red bitch arrives. Keep the faith, don't stress or worry - try not to think about it this sounds rich coming from Queen Symptom Scotterer and if she's still not ariver by Thursday do one (a test....) in the morning.

And tell Mr Jelly to stop it!

Lemon .... I don't think know flu is a symptom. .. although I'm sure there is probably a website somewhere that would tell you otherwise... (hope you feel better soon)

Feeling under the weather is supposed to be one, or so I've heard. But, as I said, think it is just that time of year where my body wants to hibernate, but modern life won't let it.

Have you ever heard of MEN feeling their partners pregnancy symptoms? You know sort of like twins feeling / sensing their twins pain.

Well....

My other half said he felt nauseas this morning... no two guesses to what my first thought was

It is lemon... when are you due to test?

Haha Kez that's brilliant! Well Gx that if your are he gets all the sickness and you're as right as rain

Not sure of the length of my cycles as this is my first, but CD28 was 3 days ago. No sign of AF or a BFP though.