Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Take care of yourself candy hope it goes off

Welcome ruby hope this is another kitten jobby! GX

la like i said, blonde and bosomy is where the comparison ends i am what you might describe as "slightly larger" than our Holly. oh and the blonde is out of a bottle it's naturally like a really muddy dark blonde/light brown nothing colour!

Well after my failed Ice last week, my cbfm is flashing high at me again this morning. completely failed at temping this morning as i was awake way before the alarm went off but didn't give it a thought and then sat up and drank half a pint of cold juice before i realised what i was doing! looked at my ff chart and all type of lines have now disappeared so think it's safe to say i've managed to confuse the hell out of it!! on the brightside my temp line is making a lovely zig zag pattern lol!

I don't care "when" i Ice, i am more than happy to keep shagging, i just want to confirm that i DO ice...

do NOT i repeat NOT apologise to us candy oh my goodness that's what we're here for!!!!

Sorry Candy, it really does suck. But stay calm and try to relax.

Welcome Ruby.

Hmmm!

CD 32, DPO 16 and I got a very faint BFP with FMU this morning. And now I'm kind of bricking it because I got a faint(er) BFP last month and then came on, and I still don't know if I was actually looking at an evap line.

I'm scared that it's not really a BFP and I just can't read tests. I never seem to get BFPs on strip tests but the two recent BFPs were on a Tesco and a Superdrug - what if the little windows are distorting the view?! chews fingers

Only one way to find out, commander. Turn in to a pops addict in the next few days! GX!

POAFRER. BFN. FFS.

I hate Mondays.

I have all my Gx for you Candy. Please don't feel like you have to be at work if you don't want to be

what dpo are you now lemon?

JC I hope its ib. forget work. if that bean was a sick toddler that needed looking after you'd call in sick regardless of how much work there was to do, its up to your boss to make sure the work load is spread and can be covered in absence not u. Go home!

lemon sorry about bfn. try and put it out if your mind. you must have iced later than you thought.

hi ruby, was that you have 5dcs or you're on cycle 5 - read it both ways and now I'm confusing myself! I think it must be cycle 5.

spose I should get out of bed and do some work.

Errr 16 I think. AF was due on Sat if I have 28 day cycles, but am not sure about their length because I've never had to count before.

Thanks Lil

It's strange though, I used OPKs for basically the whole cycle this time, and had a nice clear pos on 14th... (Ignore early ones, was using FMU)

gx the witch stays away lemon you're not out till she arrives! as lil says you may have iced later than you thought, or you may just have really low hcg. I say try again Wednesday if she still hasn't arrived! gx though

sorry cross post with your lovely collection of pissy sticks. you might have a lovely long luteal phase. and i may be talking out of my bottom, but i think once you have a positive opk it can be 12-36hours before you ice? so you could still be in x

What am I supposed to do now? Should I call my doctor? Is it even classed as a miscarriage if I'm only 5 weeks?

Sorry for the me me me posts. Hope that everyone else is doing ok

Oh JC big hugs hun :( We are all here if you need us, and don't feel like you need to apologise. Keeping everything I can crossed for you!

I don't look like anyone, but I am a massive mongrel of a person anyway so I don't expect many weirdo's look like me haha!

JC please stop apologising, you have nothing to apologise for. Are you still bleeding? How long has it been going on for? Xx

Jelly you could find the number for your EPU (early pg unit) and give them a call. Their input seems to vary massively by area. I was told to just wait it out and phone them if I still got a positive test a week later. Other people have been taken in and scanned etc although at 5 weeks you may be too early for that. No harm in phoning for advice though

Hugs jcandy do not apologise to us! We are hear for you to come to and you are not bringing the thread down!

As Wilma says, call epu and see what they say xxx

JC maybe phone the doctor and see what they say hun? Thinking of you.

Quick question, I have an excessive amount of CM today (and yesterday). It's not EWCM but it's very watery and clear! Should I OPK to see if it's ovulation?

Also, sickness feeling is getting worse! Anyone want to give me a hooyah?

i would jelly as watery is Aldo fertile cm.

JC whether they call it chem or mc, its a horrid thing to have to go through. how much bleeding have you had? I agree with wil call epu.

mini hooyah jelly but only a mini one because we have been fuelling the madness a bit with you this cycle!

I mainly get watery cm around ice time and only patches of ewcm. no harm in poa opk?

It's been quite a lot and there are clots now. I've got an appointment with my gp just after lunch. My colleagues are being so nice so I won't have to come back in after the appointment

Hope you've gone home candy. I had a bleed with DD1 and all was well in the end. Back then (15 years ago!) bed rest was advised but may be different now? Still I would get yourself home and on the sofa.

Lemon GX for BFP tomorrow morning.

Chemical pregnancies: this is new to me. Aren't they very early miscarriages (and therefore still gut-wrenching if you've been longing for a baby)? It seems like some posters (not in this thread) don't count them as a "proper" pregnancy but they are right? Does it mean that the egg is fertilised but doesn't implant? I thought the body only released HCG if implantation had occurred though? Confused.

as far as i know must it's a real pg but it's a mc before anything can be seen on a scan? so in the very early weeks. I actually think it's a horrible term for it, as like you said, it is a real pg and equally as gut wrenching if you are desperately trying!

Thanks for explanation kh. Yes awful term for it.

Another one who hates the term "chemical pregnancy".

No. Miscarriage.