Dear Santa, we've been a bit naughty in all the right ways, & given our husbands plenty of lays, we don't need presents under our tree's, we'd all be happy to get BFPs!! Love the Viroids....JSing 34!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 33 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2237187-The-home-of-sporn-lovers-and-cunthawks-make-sure-the-ewcm-is-coming-from-the-right-hole-and-don-your-capes-but-dont-put-parsley-up-your-chuff-for-JUST-SHAGGING-Part-33?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2243337-Hop-aboard-the-good-ship-JS-Grads-for-its-sweet-16th-pregnancy-party-Don-your-party-hats-grab-a-bouncy-ball-and-quaff-copious-amounts-of-raspberry-leaf-to-celebrate-our-coming-of-age" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>. We are the dark side of MN. Welcome.

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I'm out ladies think I'm going to take a break from mn for a while been 3 years thus month since we started trying thunk I just need a bit if me time x

aawww I'm sorry whit think I understand though, only a few months for me and no idea how anyone copes for longer :-/ x

Thank you good luck though ladies will keep fingers and toes crossed x

Aww ain don't lose heart, it will happen!

gaggia I love hearing about other people BFP's too

lemon you ain't out till the witch turns up mrs!!!

Good luck whit with your TTC journey x

You've got a better memory than me lil!

Sorry about that whit, take care of yourself and check back when you feel ready.

Welcome spread, instant kitten. Crazy!

Sorry about the 90 days ainat, that's a bitch! Hope the husky as helped!

Evening all, just checking in. Congrats jcandy, congrats & welcome spread.

la glad the poo birth went well, if overdue.

honey, gaggia & all excellent shagging.

Confusing times here- cd24, 7dpo and spotting. Normally 28day cycle but as this wtf am a bit . Bloody headfucking ttc wankbadgery

Hi Viroids... I've been lurking for a little while and hope you don't mind me joining up?

Name: Pickle
Age : 27
DCs: 2 exceedingly smelly cats
TTC : Coil out since Sept 2014, TTC properly from now.

noniks good to hear from you, at 7dpo I'm thinking possible IB? The timing wouldn't rule it out. I'm cd25 and 6dpo so just behind you making us definitely still POAS buddies. No symptoms here except a few poky stretchy womble things but could well just be my body playing ha-ha-just-fucking-with-you games.

Hi Pickle! Come on in! My cats are smelly too.

Spread omg! Welcome, and congratulations! That's pretty quick!

La so pleased for the arrival of your baby!

Chat I want to go to a Christmas market! Tree up tomorrow! Yay! OK, I know its still November, but its December on Monday.

Jelly you are totally pregnant. Accept it. Poas already. (Well, in a week)

welcome pickle x

I wonder how many lurkers we have?

Noniks maybe an IB?

I wonder that too sometimes honey come on lurkers come on in! we don't bite... unless our oh' ask nicely hehehehe!! xx

I love my cats, I really do, but sometimes I want to use my hands for stuff I want to do like go online and type messages to you guys.

Sorry you're having a mare with WTF noniks. It can be very confusing. I never used to spot before MCs but have since for couple days. Could be IB like indigo and honey said, timing wise anyway. But depends if you have been trying and could just be a pain in the arse side affect of WTF.

Welcome sunshine! Why do they smell?! Is it them or their bums?

Welcome pickle your mn nickname is very close to my sisters nickname I just did a double take!

Welcome pickle!

We are developing a lot of newbies on this Fred!

Welcome pickle!

And big waves to nay lurkers out there. .

I really need to get out of this feeling sorry for myself mindset. Thank you jelly. I'm only on 3 months so far, and you had to wait 5! Others longer too I imagine. There is still time. In my perfect life plan for myself though I had two kids by the age of 30... It's getting more and more unlikely...

I do hope this is your month though Jelly. Would be totally awesome for you! Looking forward to your POAS date next week! I'll have everything crossed for you! (And all you other lovely viroids who are twoting).

I was supposed to be having a lie in today. It's 8:45. I've already done the washing, sorted out a few bits and bobs and have been browsing MN for about a half hour...

We are going to see the reindeer parade today! I'm very excited. Then we have a tonne of shopping to do. Then shagging then mils for dinner.

Welcome pickle!

gaggia sounds like you've got the day sorted

ain I think it's really common for it to take a while to get your AF back. Each day is taking you closer and pretty soon you won't believe you ever wished for her to return!

Morning viroids!

Welcome pickle waves

Dulcet I've got one cat on my head and one across my arm, inhibiting typing! Neither of mine are smelly though..

aina I've been ttc 17 months and only started getting success in sept (to then lose it). Best thing to do is look at your cycles. You're not long off bc, so your body is still settling. Remind us what dr said about af returning? Were you given the 'be patient' line?

Have you got agnus castus? Meant to bring on absent periods/regulate cycles.

It's frustrating but you've not been trying for that long yet and your cycles are not yet regular so we can't work out what is happening. We need to find out when/if you're icing. I dtd at wrong time of month for about 8 months, only discovered when I bought cbfm and tracked icing. I was icing later and so missing it every month.

You'll get there

lemon have you peed on a frer this morning? I do hope so!

Have fun gaggia! Where is parade?

noniks it sounds like ib to me. Gx!

jelly when are you indulging me POAS?

Hehe indigo I hope so!

Thanks La. The doctor did use the 'be patient' line but also put in for me to have bloods done (which I didn't fight for, he offered, so it hopefully looks like they are going to be helpful in the ttc process). Anyway, when I called the surgery for the results I got told I need to go and speak to a doctor about them, so have an appointment on Dec 6th.

My 24 hour spotting/bleeding (first sign of anything) was over 17th/18th November, CD78/79. There wasn't enough for a pad or tampon but enough for there to be definite redness when wiping (I got a little on my underwear, but not loads maybe if I had been wearing my nice new underwear that day AF would have struck? )

I just wish there was a way for me to be able to know what was going on...

gaggia sounds like you've got a great day planned.

noniks I have my gx that it's ib!

la peeing is next week (if I have the self control, still feel nauseous as hell and no idea why???).

ain big big hugs to you. It's so frustrating , but remember all the right signs are there. You've been getting cramps and AF life feelings, I had that for about two/three cycles and then she showed up. So don't give up hope!! Did you speak to the doctor about the progesterone tablets?

Welcome pickle :) more cats, yay!! We're all a bit animal and baby mad here ;) also waving to all these litters we have, come say hi!!

I want to do something Xmas-y. I wore my Xmas jumper yesterday!

noniks hugs to you. This cycle must be horrible!

gaggia sounds ideal! Maybe shag at MiL's too?