so depressing!

[nadinetd]

hi ladies
just wanted to pop by to have a moan really, been trying since i miscarried in march and our baby would have been due 14th october, our 1st wedding anniversary and when i had d+c everyone kept saying i would fall quick and i know it takes time but i really thought i would be pregnant again by the time my due date arrived ( i know this is not a guaranteed date just a guide) i am due on tuesday did first response test today which was negative feel so down, i have no children and feel like i never will does anyone else feel like this ?
thanks for listening x

Poor you - must be hard to keep smiling... but don't give up - and stay positive... stress and worry don't help with conception. I know I felt each month was like an emotional rollercoaster waiting to see.

My best mate is in your position too - she was due about now, but miscarried around 11 weeks - and is yet to conceive again. Another friend had 2 miscarriages last year but is now expecting... it does happen just might take a while. Remember - it takes the average couple around 6 months to conceive - so it isn't much more than that since you miscarried. Also think that at least you know you can get pregnant - which puts you a few steps ahead of quite a few couples. Might not be any consolation - but do try to stay as positive as you can... and try not to think about it all too much or set yourselves any kind of deadline - enjoy life.... and hopefully it will happen when it will happen. Good luck.

I'm sorry for your mc nadine, and hope you can find an appropriate and comforting way to cope with your impending due date.

I do not quite have your situation in that I have always conceived fairly quickly, but I have had three miscarriages (I also have one son, conceived after the first mc) and it is always a terrible blow. The only thing to do really is to stay positive and hang in there. You are overwhelmingly likely to conceive again and have a healthy pregnancy and birth. I wish I could say more to help, but you are in my thoughts.

thanks so much its really nice to be able to speak to people on here.

lots of my friends are all pregnant and 2 of them dont even want to be its just so unfair
thanks for your kind words x

I have been and am in a similar situation to you. I m/c in January and thought it would happen again quickly for us but it didn't. The thing was that it seemed so much worse and more urgent for me every time my AF arrived because I had the due date fixed in my mind and really wanted to be comfortably pregnant by the time it came around. I wasn't and that made it very difficult. In fact I remember that AF came a couple of days before the due date, so that was like salt in the wound for me.
I get the impression that lots of us who have miscarried put an awful lot of importance on the due date.

I hope that you can find something helpful and healing to do on the due date. I hope it will give you hope to know that for me it was a massive release when that date passed. In the build up I felt very tearful and down, but the day itself wasn't too bad at all - the anticipation was far worse. After it passed, I was no longer looking at pregnant women and thinking 'that would have been me'. I could no longer torture myself by saying 'I'd be x weeks pregnant by now'. It really freed me up, and although I am in agonies wanting to be pregnant again, I have more balance to my life and a slightly more healthy attitude to it (although not all the time...).

Also, just because the first response was negative for you today it means nothing at this stage, as it is so early. Don't give up hope, it could still happen for you this month.

I hope you get through this. I wish noone had to experience it. Miscarriages stink. But as everyone has said, it has only been 6 months so you are still within the realms of an average fully fertile person.

thanks rubles sometimes i feel like im over reacting and its also hard as hubby really trys to be supportive and then sometimes im really mesan to him as he has 2 boys from a previous relationship and i say things like its not as important to him when i know it is.
fingers crossed any way.
have u heard any thing about acupuncture?

I started acupuncture at the end of june after I had a chemical pregnancy. As I am not currently pregnant I don't know whether I'd say it was working but what it has been is a great release for me as a place to go and talk about 'stuff'. That was part of the reason I started going was to try and get myself more relaxed about it all. The woman who does it is a midwife and specialises in fertility and pregnancy issues for her acupuncture, so she has undoubtedly seen and heard it all before.
It's quite nice to have someone asking for the minute details of my menstrual cycle - they are really interested in the tiniest things, in a way that noone else in your life will be (I doubt.

I wonder if your dh is just seeming more laid back because he just assumes it'll happen in the next month or two - whereas you are starting to doubt yourself and have gone into panic mode. My dp was all 'oh it'll happen, it'll happen', until recently. Now I see that he is starting to get edgy too. I don't think it means that they are not as up for it as us, but they are able to bury their heads in the sand whereas we can't.

You're not in London are you? I'd definitely recommend my acupuncturist.

hi no im not in ondon in hertfordshire where could i find out about it and how much does it cost!
maybe my husband is just thinking it will happen and maybe it will im only 25 but i am startin to worry!

OH YEAH ALSO I CAME ON ON MONDAY NEVER MIND X

hey there, it is tough. i am coming up on my second due date: oct. 30. the first one was in june and i get really depressed seeing infants and thinking of how my life would be if i hadn't miscarried. definitely try to keep things in perspective though - at 25, you have lots of time. i am going to be 37 in December so there's a lot more pressure to get one to stick. i have been having acupuncture for about 2.5 months but have to say i've literally had no reaction. it's nice to talk to someone but it hasn't seemed to make a difference on my fertility and my other issues, such as nighttime waking, haven't been affected one straw. rubles - do you have a good acupuncturist? i'm thinking maybe i should try someone else before giving up. i've had about 8 sessions already.

Chandelina - for acupuncture, I would recommend Margaret Evans at the Hale Clinic (nr Harley Street in London)(07958 751898) - I have only had one session with her, but I thought it was fantastic and felt really relaxed afterwards. She seems to know a lot about fertility issues.

Lots of people recommend Zita West and the other acupuncturists at her clinic (0207 580 2169) - her clinic is in Devonshire Street, in the same area of London.

The other acupuncturist who everyone raves about is Gerad Kite - there was an article about him in Eve magazine recently - saying that he had helped loads of women get pregnant (mostly supporting them through IVF etc). Look at www.geradkite.com. The only problem is that he has a v long waiting list. I have an appointment with him later this month, which I booked in July I think!!
Hope this is helpful, and good luck X

My acupuncturist is a bit less glam than yours Madigan!
She is a midwife and works at two clinics one in N7, the other E8. Her details are www.acupuncturealison.co.uk. Cost is £45 per session.

Should have said - Margaret Evans charges £55 per hour, so a bit more expensive.