too old/ too much damage done?

[tappycat]

hi, new to this site
i was 40 this year and finally in a place where i'm with a stable partner and we have started trying for a baby but my brain is convinced it's too late. i spent my 20's and 30's 'living it up' lots of boozing and other stuff.
i know 40 is not that unusual to have your first child anymore but now we are actually trying, i'm convinced it will never happen.
any advice please?

Hi tappycat - I am brand new to all of this so probably no useful advice really but just wanted to say try not to worry until you are given a reason to. Yes it is supposed to be more difficult to conceive in your 40s but lots of people do - also lots of people live a party lifestyle for many years and then go on to have healthy pregnancies so I wouldn't let that worry you too much either. Just try to think positive and read up on how to give yourself the best chances and see how it goes, if nothing happens after a while (not sure what timescale they say for 40+) then you can get checked over but hopefully it won't come to that.

I kind of know how you feel with the worrying because I have quite a few friends who have had problems with conceiving or keeping a pregnancy so I have a bit of a pessimistic view of the whole thing and worry a bit about how it will all go. I am 33 and also sometimes worry my chances won't be as good as if I had tried when younger but I don't regret that as have had a great time up to now and didn't feel that I was ready.

Good luck and hope all goes well for you!

thanks, batfish
good luck to you too!

Hi Tappy, give your age I would go and have a fertility MOT and see what they say. You may have to do this privately but no point trying for a year of there is a problem. Many women conceive easily in their 40s or struggle in their 20s so for peace of mind I would go and see where you fall and then at least you can get treatment if its needed.

I t

Where do you go to get a fertility MOT? My GP said I couldn't be seen on the NHS because of my age (41), but did not suggest any other options, and talked over me when I tried to ask. I've tried to find out online but without much success.