positive tests, faint lines, disappointments

[HappyLucyLou]

Hello, new here! Trying for baby number 2. Straight to the point - 2 months ago I got 4 very faint positive pregnancy tests (a few days before and after a missed period) was very pleased told work immediately as I do a job that requires heavy lifting only to come on after the following few days and find I had a "chemical pregnancy" I was really upset. Had to talk to work who had changed loads of stuff for me and it was just a big mess. We have continued trying and now it's 2 months down the line. I haven't really felt any symptoms (which I did before) and had convinced myself I definitely wasn't pregnant. My cycle is slightly messed up so have no idea when I'm due on any more, but I decided today that I am most likely late (like I have been for the past 2 months) and to put my mind at rest decided to do a pregnancy test to get my negative and stop thinking about it. Anyway a really faint line has appeared again. I'm worrying so much, I really wish I hadn't taken the test because now my hopes are up and I don't want the same to happen again. I don't want to say anything to work because it was so hard last time but then if I am pregnant I need to stay safe. I have no idea what to do. I'm not sure anyone can give me any advice I just needed to say it all out loud because I have no one to tell. I don't want anyone to know if I am pregnant until it's safe to say I am. Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Oh happy you have my sympathy (but also my tightly crossed fingers that it all goes fine this time). I had a cp last month and just felt broken when the bfp turned into a bfn. Could you tell your manager and see if they could get you out of the lifting for a few days to start with and then test again? It sounds like they care and hopefully they will understand that this is a scary and difficult time and that you need some support. I'm willing you to have a sticky bean this time x

Thankyou for your reply. Sorry the same thing has happened to you, feels awful. I know my manager would understand, it was really just the awkwardness of telling him I was no longer pregnant and crying as he hasn't got great people skills. Going to test in a couple of days and it I get another positive i guess I better say something. hope all goes well for you! xxx

HappyLucyLou the same thing happened to me last month and it feels awful doesn't it?! It's so early but because you know and start to plan, it's so horrible to have it all taken away. I'm crossing my fingers so much for your bean to stick. Practically I think I would have a chat with my manager and, especially if they know what's happened before, just see if they could get you to 'help out' on another project or something for a week or so until you know more how things stand. Good luck :)

Thanks for your reply. Sorry that it happened to you too. It really is awful. I felt like I'd lost a baby, but the few round me who knew didn't seem to get it so I just kept hearing chemical pregnancy. The point is if it had of managed to stick that was my baby, or at least that's the way I felt/feel.

I've being needing to wee loads this past week, only put two and two together today, kept thinking that my bladder was just getting weaker. So small sign, hopefully a good one. I'm looking out for loads of signs because I had so many with my first but every pregnancy is different I guess so really shouldn't expect the same.

Going to take another test when my hubby gets home tonight and if we get another positive will talk to the manager. So fingers crossed. Hope you get a BFP soon too. The waiting game can be so hard.

Good luck!

Have took a couple more tests since, one yesterday morning, one this morning both positives and both slightly darker than the last. Spoke to my manager, who will have to change all my shifts again, he seemed a little offish about it like I'm messing him around, so feeling a little low about that. Got to do what's safest for me and baby though (not like I'm trying to mess him about!) Waiting for a call back to hear what he plans to do with me.

I really hope everything goes well for you! The most important thing at the moment in you and your baby so don't worry about your manager! He's probably just a bit miffed at having to redo rotas but what is that in the grand scheme of things?! Good luck.

Don't ever feel bad about asking work to put themselves out for you. Remember everyone at work was a baby once and had a mother who needed to take care of herself while pregnant. Request what is best for you and don't feel a shred of guilt.

Sod feeling bad about work! The lines are getting darker which is good news. Whenever I'm doing too many hours or stressing about work DP says 'you do realise you work there don't you?' Meaning I'm paid to do a job but not to actually live at work and I have rights and one of them is a life outside of work.
Don't worry about a slightly put out manager, he'll get over it shortly. You first at the moment x

Thanks everyone :) Starting to get more symptoms now. Feeling very positive. Also according to the NHS due date calculator the baby would be due on my birthday! (I know there is like the smallest chance of that happening but still nice) Will try and stay positive, forget about work and hopefully all will go well. Thanks for the support