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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Thought it would be easy...Can't understand what has changed.

24 replies

tomblibooo · 23/09/2014 12:29

I never thought I would be in this position. Got pregnant straight away (a month in) with first child. Easy as anything and a complete shock.

We are so happy and are now ready to have our second. I know I should be so grateful for my first as there are women who cant have any and I feel bad for moaning! But I assumed it would be easy again. Nothing has happened and we have been trying for 5 months, off the pill I think for 6 or more months.

Can't understand why it's now hard or what has changed. The only difference is I was a tiny bit lighter the last time. It's really getting me down now. Especially as about 6 people have recently announced pregnancies on FB. They seem to be falling from the sky.

I'm having one of those days when I cant stop crying. Very weepy. just needed to moan somewhere. I feel bad for moaning because if you are unable to have any it must sound so awful for me to moan when I have been blessed with one. who is healthy and happy and beautiful. so I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

OP posts:

Trinpy · 23/09/2014 12:41

It's only been 5 months! It's completely normal for it to take several months to conceive. You just got very lucky conceiving first month with your first child. You really don't need to worry this early on .

Trinpy · 23/09/2014 12:41

Trinpy · 23/09/2014 12:42

Sorry for the double post. Stupid phone...

Jackiebrambles · 23/09/2014 13:34

I feel for you, the same thing happened for us. I got pregnant within a month of coming off the pill first time and fully expected the same to happen second time.

Rant away!

This is our 4th cycle of TTC number 2 and i am being very impatient about it.
Some days I catch myself and think 'stop being ridiculous, it takes time' but then I hear another pregnancy announcement or my period comes and I have a little cry.

I keep worrying about my age (37) and the fact that I had an EMCS and could that have caused issues.

So you aren't alone.

AudTheDeepMinded · 23/09/2014 14:06

I feel your pain. We got pregnant the very first go with DS1 and the second month of trying with DS2. We've been trying for DC3 for four months now and I just feel (unreasonably) complete disbelief that I am not pregnant yet.

I am almost outraged at my body! But I also know that I am being completely ridiculous and unrealistic and that it can take a hell of a lot longer. Hope we all get some good news soon.

Original poster

tomblibooo · 23/09/2014 14:06

thanks both.

OP posts:

Original poster

tomblibooo · 23/09/2014 14:10

Thanks all. I keep thinking if i didn't want it so much it would happen! because the first time I wasn't even thinking about having a baby - and it happened when I made a mistake. Now all of a sudden it's difficult! (obviously we love our son and are OVERJOYED the mistake happened the first time).

OP posts:

NewEraNewMindset · 23/09/2014 14:11

You are experiencing the joy of secondary infertility and it's actually more widespread than primary fertility. The main issue for me and possibly you is we are older. I was 36/37 when I had my son, started trying again at 38 and and now nearly 40 with two miscarriages behind me.

Assuming you are still a good age for conception I'm sure you will be fine. Once you get past 6 months TTC try your GP and see if they will test your hormones and your partner's sperm.

I'm really sorry you are feeling sad, it's crap I know but you are luckier than some out there xx

MelanieWiggles · 23/09/2014 14:11

Hi - I feel for you. It took me seven months on my second and eight on my third. What did make a difference was using the ovulation sticks - turned out I was ovulating earlier than i thought. Was pregnant within one month of testing both times. Might be worth a shot.

NewEraNewMindset · 23/09/2014 14:11

*primary infertility

minipie · 23/09/2014 14:23

In the nicest possible way, 5 months is really not that long or finding it "difficult" to conceive. Average time to conceive for any couple is 6 months - so you are still within that.

I do understand your impatience - I am the same - but as others have said, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong, it's more that the first time was very quick and now you're having a more "average" experience.

Perhaps you are DTD a bit less often? A bit more tired or stressed? All these things can add up - they won't stop you getting pg but might make it take a bit longer. A friend of mine got pg instantly with DC1 and DC2, DC3 took 9 months - no obvious reason, she thinks she was just a bit more stressed and tired and not DTD quite as often as she needed to.

Original poster

tomblibooo · 23/09/2014 14:42

i do suffer badly from stress. Im 32. good to hear it is normal for it not to be so quick. I had a bad dream last night where someone in it was calling me infertile - so I'm just having a VERY bad day.

OP posts:

ElizabethMedora · 23/09/2014 14:54

I feel for you too! I conceived DC1 and DC2 instantly, but have been trying for DC3 since Feb (had a miscarriage in Aug). I know it is totally normal but just frustrating! I thought I would have a baby by Christmas, I'm not even pregnant.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 23/09/2014 15:33

Ds conceived first month.
Ttc dc2 for two years. Two failed ivf attempts later and still no baby.

Seriously. Five months is nothing. I bet you will be pregnant by christmas.

What changed for us is I had a c section which apparently is a major cause of secondary infertility (about 1 in 3 have problems) and my dh has sperm issues. However he may always have had those issues and we still managed ok first time. I think the c section is the problem.

Jackiebrambles · 23/09/2014 15:42

Sleeps, really sorry to hear of your issues.

I had an emergency section and I am definitely concerned that my section might cause me problems. Although 2 of my NCT friends also had sections and they are both pregnant again.

From my point of view we definitely DTD less these days (although of course we’ve ramped it up these last few months!) but we are both just pretty tired, what with working and having a toddler.

When I conceived before I was the same weight but I was going to the gym at least twice a week and probably eating a bit better, certainly drinking less coffee (see tiredness above!), more water etc.

These next two cycles I’m going to concentrate on getting more sleep, cutting down on the caffeine/alcohol a bit and see what happens.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 23/09/2014 16:19

Yes everyone I know who had a section has not had problems...
I do now get pain on ovulation which I never used to get. I do think there is a possibility that it's the cause of our problems at least in part. I had problems after the section too.

Original poster

tomblibooo · 23/09/2014 20:43

Oh god. I had a section. Now I'm really worried.

OP posts:

Tranquilitybaby · 23/09/2014 23:38

I have two children, both sections and I fell pregnant first month with each of them. Now 10 years down the line, I've suffered an ectopic and last week a miscarriage, so I understand that it isn't always Going forward as it was before.

How old is your first child?

NewEraNewMindset · 24/09/2014 07:26

I had a perfectly normal vbac and can't fall pregnant now so it really may not be anything to do with c-sections at all.

BlinkAndMiss · 24/09/2014 08:12

I wouldn't worry too much about it being the section if you had no issues afterwards, obviously it's something to look into but don't automatically think it's a problem. I have friends who all had sections and they've had dc2 pretty soon after. I didn't have a section and I'm the one struggling.

I've been trying for dc2 for 5 months, during which time I've had a mc. DS was conceived on the first month of trying, I used OPKs and DTD when it was positive. One time.

It's hard to understand why ttc the second time around it so hard, there's a thread on here somewhere which focuses on it.

I'm 2 stone heavier than I was when ttc the first time, I'm starting to think that this is the issue with me.

Original poster

tomblibooo · 24/09/2014 08:47

Sorry to hear that tranquility.
My baby is now 18 months.

I'm probably a stone heavier too. Wondering if that's the issue.

OP posts:

raydown · 24/09/2014 08:52

5 months is too soon to think that something might be wrong. It's still well within the normal range.

Original poster

tomblibooo · 24/09/2014 09:28

Oh good - thank you.

OP posts:

newbie6 · 01/10/2014 12:19

I hear ya! Snap, crackle, pop! TTC no 2 for 6mths now, currently on 2ww so hoping I don't enter a cycle 7 but I suspect I will!

I got pregnant in month 1 with DS, got pregnant in month 1 before that also but ended in MC so whilst I totally get that 6 mths isn't that long, it feels v long for me? I'm 39 which isn't great either! DS is 21mths old and a delight and so want to give him a sibling!

Good luck lovely ladies and let's hope Mother Nature is reading this board and gives us all a break!

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