Hi Pickle
I Just wanted to start by saying I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious boy, that must be a truly horrendous thing to go through 
.
I hope you received lots of support and was shown lots of understanding to try and make such a horrible time more bearable. I know some people can be really insensitive to these things which only makes it all the more painful.
I lost my first pregnancy May this year at 5 weeks, which I know pales in comparison to what you have been through. It was personally, for me, the most horrible thing I had been through. I had been diagnosed with endometrisos last year and was really concerned about being able to conceive and didn't want to put things off. But I was advised to wait for (another) medical procedure and could finally try 10 months later and was delighted when I got my positive. When I got the news of the scan I was told by friends and family "at least it was only early" and "at least you know you can get pregnant" and I tried being brave and agreeing and staying "positive" as that's what i was constantly told to do.
But around a week later it really hit me what had happened and it really hurt the things people said. People see me down and thought they were being encouraging by saying not to dwell and move on. I know this was meant with good intention as they didn't want to see me hurting, But it felt they were telling me to move on and forget my baby like its life didn't mean anything. I also felt that because it was so early I was expected to get over it more or less straight away and I didn't feel justified in feeling upset or a loss.
I was feeling better about things but this week I am feeling like you, in need of a rant as I have had a friend act insensitively (again) regarding her brothers girlfriends pregnancy and sending me a 4d scan picture (she sent a text asking if i wanted to see it, then sent it anyway!). I feel like saying look i don't know them, to me they are just another lucky couple that manged to do things right and rub it in mine and my partners face. But of course I wouldn't say it.
I totally get what you are saying about people not appreciating what they have. I get sick of hearing people complaining about there kids or seeing people putting statuses/comments on fb talking about how there kids are being little so and so's. I get it kids can be stressful but do you really have to publicize it? how would there kids feel if they was to see that post/comment in years to come? it makes me feel these people don't know how lucky they really are. Then probably quite unfairly I get annoyed at people posting pics of their babys/kids every five minutes telling us what a wonderful family and world they have. Makes me . I have seen so many people smoke through pregnancy too and drink and it makes me feel they have no regards for their growing child and they should treat it with precious care.
The thing that's really got my goat though is my friend behaving the way she is, on top of another pregnancy announcement (from her down the road who's just had a baby) a possible pregnancy and a friend that is due her baby. I feel terrible about including my friend who's having her baby and the possible pregnancy announcement in this, as its two people I love very much.
I have made very effort to support my pregnant friend and embrace things but it has been tough, especially as her best friend has treated her badly due to her not liking the fact my friend is pregnant. Its been a strain. I know it must sound terribly selfish but i thought with her coming to the end of the pregnancy things will be easier, But now I (most likely) have to start the trying journey all over again with the new announcement. I don't want to sound unkind or bitter I just want you to know I sympathize with your frustration.
I wanted to suggest a site if that's ok the miscarriage association which is a great site and has a helpful forum. it also has a section called marking the loss and information on memorial services. I don't want to ask you what you did in regards to a service and upset you. I just hope you felt what you chose to do honored him in the way you wanted. Also in the marking the loss section is The meadow of love, which is a lovely place to put a message for your baby if you would like too it. There is also the lights of love tree to remember you baby at Christmas. The messages stay there indefinitely. The miscarriage forum on this site is also great if your feeling down and need people that understand how your feeling. I posted on there regarding my miscarriage and how my friend has hurt me. I expected a lot of "its time to get over it comments" and people saying im being over sensitive. I got a lot of really helpful responses instead.
I really wish you all the best and hope you get your rainbow baby soon [[hugs]] 