What do you wish someone had told you before TTC#1

[kaykayblue]

Hi Ladies,

My partner and I have decided to start ttc-ing in January - it's a while off yet, but I'm already super excited about it.

Like everyone else who is ttc-ing, we would love for it to happen in the first three cycles (ahahaha..ha), so I was wondering - what do you wish someone had told you before you started to try and conceive your first?

I've read up about taking supplements (my current supplement has folic acid in it, but I might get some pre natal ones specifically as I'm a bit worried the Vit A level is too high), I know about checking CM, and we have agreed in principle to have sex every 2-3 days.

I am 30, and partner is 29. We are both at the lower end of our healthy weight ranges (but not underweight), and my cycle is pretty regular (between 26-28 days).

But if there's anything that anyone would recommend to help us both prepare, or stuff we should do to enhance our chances (other than the obvious dtd...), I'd be really grateful to know!

Hi Kay,

I'd say come off the pill as soon as possible if you are on it. It seems a lot of people take a while to have regular periods after it. I came off it 4 months before ttc and have now been trying for 6 months with no luck. Obviously that could have nothing to do with the pill though! I've been taking pre-conception vitamins the whole time as well just in case.

Oh a more lighthearted note (!), i'd say being able to laugh at the situation is quite important. Some days you know you have to do 'it' when you really aren't in the mood and maintaining a sense of humour about it helps us!

Also i'd say if you could try before January, then maybe go for it? It's a big decision but you never know how long it will take.

Oh and period parties! Every month when AF arrives i do something i couldn't do if i was pregnant (i.e. drink a large G&T, eat lots of brie etc...)

Good luck! : )

x

I second the coming off the pill asap idea. My first cycle was 123 days which meant we couldn't actually start trying until 4 months after we planned to.

Agree, agree, agree! I am 33 and was on the pill for 16 years before we started TTC. Been at it for around 18 months now (all tests fine) and when I look at my cycles (length and when I ovulate) you can see they are normalising but VERY slowly.

I wish someone had told me not to put it off and that we'd manage if it happened month 1, I think most people find a way, don't they?

Good luck! Xo

I second what Lindsay81 says. I thought id have plenty of time but once you start seeing the months tick past and no bfp, you will wish you had started sooner!

I wish someone had told me that you can't poas until af is at least x2 weeks late. My first tww was a total revelation - I have in fact no common sense at all as it suddenly seemed fine to spend £££ on sticks to pee on even though I know doing it makes a bfp no more likely- just couldn't stop myself.
Also wish someone had warned me that dp would not like to be told which is my most fertile day, who knew that would be so off putting? I think it's very exciting, DP not so much.

Don't work out ovulation days etc.

I did at first and got so stressed out it caused AF to be late, disappointing me when it finally came and I knew I still wasn't pregnant. As soon as we stopped 'trying' so hard, I got my BFP!

What, the two week wait is the two weeks after ovulation BEFORE your period us due, not after it.

That I'd need the prescribed 5gm dose of folic acid rather than the shop bought stuff. Because I is a fatty. Ok, I'm being silly. I'm a perfectly normal size 16 but I have to take the larger dose to make sure it works.

5mg that should say.

I wish I had read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" sooner.

Start taking Spatone or Floradix (for iron) immediately. I did that for later pregnancies, wish I had with the first.

The horrible one: weight gained due to stress ttc or in pregnancy is a total bitch to get rid of later, best not to gain it in the first place if at all possible.

Having an orgasm after he does will increase the chances of getting up the duff. Your cervix kind of dips into the sperm and sucks them up when your eyes are rolling. Worked for us. Repeatedly.

Eat as much forbidden food as you can before you start. All 3 of ours were conceived first time. Very lucky but we were expecting it to take longer and I wish now we had had eaten out more, gone to the cinema etc before the nausea and fatigue kicked in and lasted until the baby arrived!

Hi Kay,

Agree with the other ladies - come off birth control asap. It's different for everyone, but it took me four months to get pregnant (I'm 31, DH is 38) and I'm pretty sure I didn't even ovulate for the first two months. Believe me - every month you don't get pregnant will feel like a lifetime, so I'd do it sooner rather than later!

I also used Period Tracker Lite (free app) which helped me get to grips with my real, non-pill based period cycle and helped me recognise when the two day fertile window was. I also used OPKs from the first month (hence knowing I didn't ovulate at all for the first two months - I didn't even know that was possible before then!). It definitely helped, as the month I got pregnant I actually ovulated a bit early and I would've missed the window altogether if I hadn't used an OPK. You can buy them v cheaply from Amazon, it soon adds up when buying from Boots/Superdrug, esp if you're buying Preg tests too!

Start taking Preg vits now, and if you can, cut back very gradually on the caffeine and alcohol (if it's your thing)! It was very much my thing, and going cold turkey was bloody awful for the first couple of weeks!

Lastly - keep a good sense of humour, enjoy it and keep coming back to Mumsnet for support or advice, I've learnt more here than any from any doctor or midwife!!

Good luck, fingers crossed for you x

As everyone is saying come off birth control as soon as you can, i came off the pill in December and my cycles have been all over the place, take pregnancy vitamins, i tried pregnacare which made me feel pregnant and kept my period late for over a week and half, i am not trying seven seas to see if that helps, when you come off the pill , track your cycles on a free app as this will give you an idea of what your cycles are and when you could be ovulating,
goodluck x

Thanks everyone!

Lots of people are mentioning coming off the pill - I actually came off the pill 3-4 years ago, and we have been using non hormonal contraception since then (just condoms). I'm really glad I decided to come off when I did, as it took a long time (maybe two years or more) before my periods stabilised into a very consistent cycle (26-28 days).

We did consider starting to try a bit earlier, but we decided to wait for two reasons:

1. We are actually getting married in January, and I don't want to be pregnant at the wedding, or if pregnant, not more than a few weeks. I need to be able to fit into my dress, lol. I would technically be happy to start trying now if I knew it would take 7 months to get pregnant, but you just never know do you?
2. We thought it would be nice to have a "normal" christmas, where we can both drink and relax.

Thanks for the advice about the app - I might look into that. I figure it would be a good idea to start getting into the habit of using it now, so I understand what the hell is going on by the new year.

biscuits - wow, you are so lucky!!! On the food side, I'm vegetarian, and brie aside, I don't think there are many things I eat now that I couldn't eat when pregnant. Maybe I am being naive!

jetsandsugar - yes, weight gain is something that does weigh on my mind (excuse the pun). I currently work out 4-6 times a week for up to an hour at a time, but I don't really pay any attention to what I eat. I'm already trying to find workout videos I could do when pregnant, but they all seem so....so dull? I can't even imagine breaking a sweat to them.

smokeandglitter - do you mean, don't get stressed about ovulation days? As in, don't put pressure on yourselves for those days? I think it might be useful to have a rough ball park of an idea of when we should be dtd, and the days where we can just "take a break" if we just want to eat chocolate and watch a dvd. Was that not your experience?

Hi kaykay

Download fertility app and use OPKs when you start ttc.

I came off the pill and started ttc at the end of July. I am currently in my third week of cycle #2 and will test next weekend.

My advice would be to download an app for your phone called Ovia or Fertility Friend and start keeping track of your period now. Enter when you have your periods and any other symptoms you have throughout the month. You can also enter what your cm (cervical mucus) is like each day. After a month or two the app will give you an idea of what days are your fertile window, making sure you get in plenty of DTD

This month (my 2nd cycle) I have been using OPKs and managed to pinpoint the exact day I ovulated, giving us the best chance of conceiving. If I do not get my BFP this month I will definitely be using OPKs until I do concieve. Hope this helps!

Don't start trying before your wedding! I just got married in July, stopped the pill that month and I got pregnant on my honeymoon in August. I would have been gutted if I couldn't drink at the wedding and it could always happen first month. And if it's going to take longer to get pregnant a month or two extra at the beginning won't hurt. Also I've now got terrible morning sickness and wouldn't have enjoyed my wedding feeling like this - I would have been retching at smell of the canapés!
Only advice I have is to go on a few dates with your fiancé now. After you get pregnant you may be too tired/ can't drink and can't always stomach the foods you used to - at least for the first few months. This is our second child so no chance of dates for us anyway, but I wish i had done that first time round.

I gave my dh vitamins too, folic acid, zinc and vitamin c, all good for healthy sperm.
If you usually use lube then get a conception on as normal lube kills sperm.
We also dtd every 24-36hours from when my period ended til the next one was due to make sure!!
Dc1 -first month
Dc2-first month
Dc3-third month

Big fan of ovulation sticks here. You're unlikely to get pregnant outside of the ovulation window so I always wanted DH to 'save up' the sperm largely to those couple of days. Then we'd have sex twice on the first day and twice on the second. Bit unromantic yes, but not once you get started!

I had a history of rubbish tubes before we started TTC DS1 and I am sure the sticks brought about success faster than otherwise.
DS1: 3 months (aged 32)
DS2: 1 month (aged 35)
DD: 4 months (aged 38)

Sorry for late answer! I found that keeping track of ovulation days and when to try just created stress for me and I was constantly trying to do things to make me more fertile. I stopped having any idea really, bar a vague well AF was then so around now and got pregnant two months later! But yes, if you do work them out don't stress because I found AF would be late getting my hopes up due to stress and everything whereas I just needed to stop thinking about it and relax for it to work!