How do you deal with the disappointment?

[Fairey86]

Ok so I had my FTCS appointment Monday all was well, or so I thought, until we saw a baby on the screen with no heartbeat. To say me and my partner are devastated is an understatement and I am still crying and in bits everyday! My partner is very upset as well. Just wondered if it does et easier? How do you deal with the overwhelming sense of guilt I'm currently experiencing? The sonographer said it was one of those things and was quick to return the money I had paid for the scan photos then proceeded to usher us out the room and I've been told to wait for it to pass then keep testing until it's negative.

I haven't experienced this so I can't offer you any sage advice, but I am so sorry to hear your sad news and didn't want to leave you unanswered.

I believe that when this happens it is because the baby would not have been viable and as the sonographer said, it is just one of those (terrible) things that happens. Doesn't make it any easier though, I can't imagine the disappointment and sadness you must feel. We have been ttc for 6 months now and to think this could happen after the excitement of the long awaited BFP, well it's unthinkable. I suppose the only thing you can do is give yourselves time to grieve for the loss, be kind to each other and look to the future.

Just to add, the way the sonographer dealt with it doesn't sound very sympathetic. Clearly lacking a bit of people skills there.

I am finding this with medical people - we were told DH has very poor sperm and they just rang us up and told us that over the phone like it was no big deal. Was a big shock and we have struggled to deal with it. I guess they deal with this stuff every day, so get a bit hardened to it. Doesn't help much when you are the one who has had the bottom fall out of your world.

I had a similar at 11 weeks though an nhs scan not sure what the scan you are talking about is - it got easier after it had physically passed and had had my first proper period. Mentally I don't think I was back to near normal until 6 months later. I had another early mc a year later then conceived ds. Their are lots of supportive people on the miscarriage board!
Your in the thick of it now take time off work sick and look after yourself.

Ps my partner had a day off around that time too and it was v important to be together