Will I ever conceive?

[MrsSlave]

My husband and I have been TTC for almost 5 years. I haven't had any periods in that time except for when my DR had given me provera to induce it and even then it would only come back for a month or two and then go away again. I was given the depo injection only once in 2008 after having my first child.

I feel like I am never going to conceive again, like it is now impossible. 4 and a half years and nothing. Granted, I am classed as obese and my husband is in the Army and has had two 6 months deployments within the past 4 and a half years and he can sometimes go away for weeks/months on end, so I understand that this doesn't help.

I am currently sat convincing myself that I am pregnant when I know deep down that I am not and its all because I finally had a proper period on my own (for the first time in 4 and a half years) last month. I am keeping dates in my calender. I haven't a clue when or if I'd be due another one this month, but working with my calender and assuming I might have a regular 28 cycle, I was due another period on the 16th of this month. I didn't get it. However, on Wednesday, I started spotting and I spotted yesterday too. The blood is mainly brown and not enough to need to use a pad. I am trying to convince myself it is implantation bleeding... but of course it isn't. Over the past 2 weeks, DH and I have had lots of sex, more than usual which is why I think I am convincing myself of this.

I guess I just need some hope! Is it possible for me to ever get pregnant after our long TTC journey? Will or can it happen? Has anyone managed to conceive with years of trying and without any help? DRs have told me that they believe that once I get a period, they believe I have a chance of conceiving and finally, I got one last month. Here I go, trying to convince myself again.

Sorry to have gone on and on. I just need hope. I am ready to give up.

Sorry about my shitting typos! I am typing on my phone through blurry tired vision.

Can I ask, how did you conceive your first child? Was it just after one of your rare periods? From an objective viewpoint, it really sounds like you need some medical assistance. Do they know why you are not ovulating? Has the Dr discussed giving Clomid after Provera, or do they give the lose weight first speel?

I put on a lot of weight after my first child and managed to lose nearly 20kgs after unsuccessfully trying for number 2. My periods are now much more regular than before I conceived my son (but turns out hubby also has highly abnormal sperm so regular periods won't help in my case).

Symptom spotting and trying to convince yourself/not convince yourself is just a normal part of what 'we' are all doing when we want a baby. It's normal! So please don't beat yourself up about doing that :). Your circumstances do sound like ttc is going to be difficult but it's not impossible at all, there was a thread about DPs who work away on here not so long back, I'm sure there are lots of nuggets of advice on there and although it might mean you do miss some windows it doesn't mean you will miss them all.

Your body sounds like it's trying to do the right thing, having a period is a great sign especially after not having one for so long. I think using OPK sticks for the next month is a good idea, at the moment I'm using the dual hormone ones to show any changes in hormones and then a different OPK in the afternoon to check, my surge tends to happen in the afternoon. It might give you some idea of what is going on. It's easy to become obsessed with poas though so if you think it might stress you out then don't! I'm fairly laid back but it almost pushed me over the edge this month.

Weight can be a factor in ttc but in all honesty it sounds like there could be something else rather than the weight. I'd visit the dr and ask for some tests as to why your AF is so rare, they tend to prefer to focus on why the body isn't doing what it should rather than focusing on ttc - I'm not sure why, but you can always tell the dr that you'd like to start ttc. In the meantime, try to adopt some healthier habits with eating and try to get rid of some of the weight. It can help to regulate AF and improve your fertility, and obviously being at your healthiest when you conceive can help during pregnancy (not always, but I think a dr would look at it from this angle) so it might be worth trying. It could be that your weight is actually a symptom in the reason that AF is so irregular so check that losing weight can happen - if it doesn't happen when you make changes then you must tell the dr that lifestyle changes don't help your weight and that you think it's connected.

Lastly, try to stay positive! It's such a difficult time because of all the emotions and the waiting, but honestly you're not alone in feeling like this. There are loads of threads on here which offer long term support, or start your own. Having a group to chat to when you're feeling down and frustrated is lovely, it makes you feel like you are not alone.

Good luck :).

Thank you for taking the time out to write what you did, blinkandmiss.

Shell, before having my son I conceived quite quickly after coming off BC. Literally within 2 months. Before having my son son, my weight was normal as were my periods. I used to have a period every month from the age of 11. It was after having the depo injection, just the once in 2008 (which is when I also started gaining a considerable amount of weight) when my AF just hasn't ever really come back by itself... except for last month.

Just to correct what I said in my recent reply.

I referred to conceiving quickly before having my son, I meant I conceived quickly with my son. He has been my first and only pregnancy.

Also ignore the "son son," I despise using my phone when using MN.

Geepers, so all was normal, then one depo injection and some weight gain and your cycle went haywire. Really does sound like you are quite fertile to conceive your son within two months. Just need to get your periods sorted out. Wish I could be more help, but as that isn't my issue, it's not something I've researched. I hope your GP can provide some answers.