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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Older and trying for first baby

23 replies

Stillhopeful · 19/09/2006 12:03

Hi - I am 37 and I'm very worried I won't be able to conceive my first baby. I didn't plan to leave it this late but after a marriage breakup this is what happened. Has anyone else had their first baby this old, without using IVF? I don't even know if it's possible - that's how ignorant I am about this babymaking business! I have also been on the pill for 15-16 years. I came off in July and have been trying since then with no luck. Starting to think it might never happen, though a friend conceived her first at 36 last year so some people must be able to... feeling very pessimistic right now... :-)

OP posts:

Piffle · 19/09/2006 12:07

I'd like to recommend a book to you called Taking charge of Your fertility by Toni Weschler
It is amazing and shows you how to check your body for signs of fertility
I had 2 children and was tryign for 4 years to conceive a 3rd - i finally succeeded naturally at nearly 36
There are lots of mid 30's mums on here
But get that book it'll be the best money you spend
And good luck.

MrsMcJnr · 19/09/2006 14:32

I know everyone has a story Stillhopeful but I have to tell you, an ex-colleague of mine had her first baby at 43. Totally naturally. She was overweight, drank far too much and ate crap and yet, she had an easy pregnancy, a 5 hour birth and a beautiful baby girl.

I would recommend the book Piffle has too, it puts you back in charge.

p.s I came off the pill at the end of June after 18 years - I think our bodies just need time to adjust. Good luck and I'll be looking out for your BFP

notasheep · 19/09/2006 14:38

stillhopeful- i had dd at 36 and ds at 41,never thought it would happen,but it did.No IVF.
I wish you well and try to stop worrying.
Could you have a weekend away for mad sex?!

notasheep · 19/09/2006 14:39

July isnt very long ago

alexh · 19/09/2006 15:32

I had DS at 37. I have PCOS and had been on the pill for 10 years. Took 3 months! Did invest in some cycle monitoring to check I was ovulating. DS now 15 months and trying to conceive No2.

doghouse · 19/09/2006 15:48

Hi there
I am 37 tomorrow (!) and like you thought due to my age I would never get pregnant. We married in May and I came off the pill straight afterwards (having been on it since I was about 19), had one period and here I am now, 12 weeks gone! When I saw the midwife last week she put me at 'low risk' which I queried due to my age and she looked at me like I was mad - if you could see the antenatal thread I am on for April 07 babies, nearly everyone is mid/late 30s. I just wanted to say a) trying since July really isn't very long and b) you really shouldn't be worrying at this stage and c) GOOD LUCK ... in a way I wish we had had a bit more time to practice!!

fortysomethingfi · 21/09/2006 18:44

Don't give up! Thinking positive really helps Like you I had a marriage breakup and did not meet my DH until I was 34! I had my ds at age 37 (nearly 38) and am now 6+2 with number 2!!! No drugs, but I did have some fantastic reflexology which I swear helped....Good luck. Fiona x

moondog · 21/09/2006 18:45

I had my ds at 37 (through choice)
Never even considered that it might be difficult tbh.

sorrell · 21/09/2006 18:46

37 isn't very old. July to September is a very short time. It is overwhelmingly likely it will happen for you, and if it doesn't, which is unlikely, it might well not be anything to do with your age. Loads of people have babies over 37!

Alibaldi · 21/09/2006 19:51

I was pregnant at 37 with ds2, had ds1 aged 36 - both without need of IVF. Took 4yrs for ds1 and then 8 mnths for ds2. My friend aged 41 just had her second. Just try and relax -easier said than done I know. But the moment I stopped worrying about getting pregnant - too busy buying a house - lo and behold along came ds1. Will keep fingers crossed for you.

meysey · 21/09/2006 19:53

I know two women who had their first babies at 42, and one who had her first at 46. None of them had IVF. You're a spring chicken!!

theshrimp · 21/09/2006 20:43

I had mine at 37. It took six months of trying and it seemed much much longer. fingers crossed for you. I'm sure you will be fine.

CHOCOLATEPEANUT · 21/09/2006 23:44

I was in same boat.Husband no 1 was inferile and we divorced (he was also a b@stard but thats another story)

Anyhow found myself alone at 30 and met dh at 34 and had first who i concieved on first month of trying at 36

Good luck!!

Original poster

Stillhopeful · 22/09/2006 08:55

Hi everyone - just wanted to say thank you for your comments!!! You've made me feel so much better. I knew it was possible but then you read so many dire statistics... My friends are all urging me to try IVF, but as we've only been trying a few months it seems premature. The book suggestions sound great. But I think I'll also go have a chat to my GP and find out about ovulation etc. xxx

OP posts:

TuttiFrutti · 22/09/2006 20:20

I had my first at 37 with no problems, and am now pregnant with the second at 39. Both times, I conceived within a month or so of trying.

Don't worry Stillhopeful, there is every chance you will get pregnant naturally, but talking to your GP is a good idea to see what your options are.

fatfox · 22/09/2006 20:25

Stillhopeful - I'm pregnant and expecting my third at 43!!! Had first at 36 - Hang on in there

twocatsonthebed · 22/09/2006 20:47

Hello - and I'm 40 and expecting my first in November. I'd second all the advice you've got on here - but also - and this is hard - try to relax as that can make a real difference. I went to a reflexologist, don't know if that helped with the conceiving, but it certainly relaxed me, which can only have helped.

fatfox · 23/09/2006 09:35

Twocats - interesting you should say that. I was TCC after miscarrying last year and got very anxious about the whole thing. I didn't manage to conceive again until I got my dates in a muddle and thought I'd missed the ovulation - once I thought I'd missed that month's "opportunity" I then forgot about the whole thing. Next thing I knew was "Bingo" I'm PG. There is such a thing as trying to hard.

I totally agree its better for the baby if you can try and say relaxed when you're PG as well. I managed to fall down the stairs a couple of weeks ago whilst rushing around in a stressed out state. Deffo not good for the baby!!

twocatsonthebed · 23/09/2006 13:15

Fatfox - there has to be a link, doesn't there. I was in exactly the same situation as you funnily enough (I got pregnant v quickly, then miscarried) and I'm sure the stress got in the way after that.

haven't had too many problems relaxing during pregnancy though, as I've mostly been too tired to run around... When are you due?

Mercy · 23/09/2006 14:11

Stillhopeful, I conceived my first child naturally at almost 37, took about 3/4 months. 2nd pg ended in miscarriage at nearly 39, took one month to conceive. 3rd pg at nearly 40, took one night to conceive.

It can be done! Good luck!

fatfox · 23/09/2006 21:07

Twocats - Baby is due around 26 Feb - 3 March. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel now can't you - only a few more weeks to go?

There was another thread on TTC a while ago and a lot of people said it wasn't until they went on holiday that they actually conceived, as they were so sressed out about the whole thing at home!

Paddlechick666 · 23/09/2006 22:02

i conceived at 38 within 3 months of putting a bit of effort into it LOL.

it never occurred to me that i wouldn't conceive at the time which probably contributed to it being so quick. now i look back and think we were pretty lucky.

i was using an ovulator predictor as well but even so i managed to get mixed up and pre-empted ovulation the month i caught.

about to celebrated dd's 1st birthday and wondering whether to have another go now that i'm 40!

hth and good luck, it's already been said but try to chill out and relax. don't forget to have fun trying too.

PC666

cityangel · 24/09/2006 00:41

Hi still hopeful. I also stopped taking the pill in July (after 11 years). I agree with the advice suggested and found the Toni Weschler and Zita West books very useful. The knowledge and advice from these books and everyone here has helped put things into perspective. We haven't been trying very long considering we were taking a drug designed to prevent pregnancy for so long.
I hope the fact that I am 7 years younger and didn't get BFP in the same timeframe shows that you shouldn't worry about your age and just try and relax, be patient and go for it! I admit I am finding this extremely hard, but all of the great words of encouragement from others should help us remain positive.
The recommended books help clarify how to optimise the natural route and explain the intervention options such as drugs, testing and IVF.
Here's hoping for BFP really soon!

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