I'm rubbish...

[CabbagePatchCheryl]

First cycle #TTC, just got a BFN. Of course, I had this whole thing totally sussed and under control from the start - see the following:

• Swore I wouldn't symptom spot. Have done nothing else for last 2 weeks.

• Swore I wouldn't test early. Tested this morning, 3 days till AF due.

• Swore I wouldn't be disappointed if it was BFN (at various points was even panicking that it would be BFP and I'm not ready). Am feeling properly crushed now.

How ridiculous! Hoping to regain sense of humour and perspective soon.

Anyway, just wanted to send love and solidarity to any of you in the same boat. (And indeed the many of you who have been TTC for a lot longer and are currently lobbing swearwords and cyber-bricks in my general direction)

I know exactly how you feel. Even if you've not been trying long (I've only been trying like 2/3 months) it still sucks! It's just feels so random and so down to chance..

While it definitely won't stop the symptom spotting there's a funny thread on hear about bizarre symptom spotting (just search 'weirdest symptom spotting' I think) which might at least make you feel a little better (or at least laugh!).

I spent ages googling 'itchy boobs' to see if that was a symptom a couple of weeks ago! It's rediculous how fixated on tiny "symptoms" you can get!!

Fx for your testing in a couple of days and fx for it not taking too long to get a BFP!

Thanks Ameilius - will have a look for that symptom spotting thread. I think we all need to have a good laugh at ourselves on a regular basis to counteract all the crazy!

It's funny because I have been busy telling DH that the chances in any one cycle, even if fertility is fine, are only about 20% so he shouldn't get his hopes up too much or get too worried if we get a BFN etc etc. But clearly I'm not practicing what I preach!

FX for you too - I am sure it won't be long. And here's hoping we both find ways not to obsess too much till it happens

Aww I know how you feel, we're TTC #1 and this is cycle 2. I was so upset when it didn't happen last month even though we're only just started trying but we've been talking about it for a long time, so feel emotionally drained already. The plan was to be calm and rational about it but nope - that's all gone out the window and the crazy have taken hold. Ah well!

kismac Exactly - I've spent so much time thinking about it (and obsessively researching - they should ban me from Google) that I feel like I've been through the wringer already!

Let's make a pact to try not to be too insane on the next cycle. If we feel ourselves going batshit, maybe we can come back to this thread and ask someone for a cyber-slap

Ha ha. Deal! Everytime I pick up my phone the husband just sighs and goes "what are you googling now?!?" Me: "nothing, I'm not googling - weird symptom x, y and z - am I pregnant?"

Yep. Exactly the same. He despairs, but he's pretty good at not showing it. It's actually our wedding anniversary today so I am going to need to haul myself out of my grump and cook a nice dinner. At least I can probably have a glass or two of wine, eh!

Come onto the just shagging thread! We will slap you with virtual fish if you symptom spot

haha! That sounds like a great idea - I had a quick lurk on the just shagging thread and thought it sounded exactly like the attitude I want but probably will never manage

Do like the idea of the just shagging thread - it can not be healthy to obsess as much as I (umm we!) seem to. It's just so addictive! And when literally everything can be a symptom (or just wind after a curry as I discovered yesterday... Embarrassing, again!) it's so hard to stop!

deep breath should definitely get on to the just shagging page

I'm a teacher so on loooong summer hols now - I need something to keep me occupied!

Such a refreshing read to know I'm not on my own! I'm obsessed with every little symptom and am forever googling and reading posts on here!

I literally stopped taking my pill about 2 weeks ago and am waiting for my first propper period yet I still expect to be pregnant straight away when i probably have very little chance this month!

I have done 2 ovulation tests and only have a very very faint line so am unsure.

I wonder how people "accidentally" fall pregnant- they are so lucky!

Sounds like we all need slapping with a virtual fish!

I kind of knew I was being a conception-obsessed loon this month but I figured I'd just let myself go the full coo-coo-crazy-pants this time round and hopefully teach myself a lesson for next month. And that lesson is - if you don't want to suffer through the longest 2 weeks of your life, probably best to find something else to focus on!

Aaahhh girls I am in the same crazy boat!! Like you Lauramatt I had my nexplanon implant removed 5 wks ago and I'm still impatiently waiting for AF to arrive so I know where I am in terms of cycle. I'm even symptom spotting for AF! Last weekend I found DH really irritating and told him I thought AF was going to arrive as I hated him that morning!! Poor DH. Also I keep thinking it's about to arrive...then realise I just need the loo!

Can I join too please?! Just started ttc no2 and going crazy already! Only came off the pill mid July and had no period yet so have no clue when I would be due on which I think is making me even crazier! Have been symptom spotting and even done 2 pregnancy tests which were both negative...shock! Have also been using OPK sticks and don't appear to have ovulated yet anyway - clearly I just need to patient and wait for my cycle to get back to normal...

Of course - more the merrier :)

It took me from Jan - July for my period to get back to regular and for it to seem like I was clearly ovulating. Don't put too much pressure on yourself - you'll go bananas!

If it helps at all ladies, there is pretty much no way you can have any symptoms before around 10dpo. The egg is fertilised and travelling down your Fallopian tubes but it doesn't implant for around 10days so your body doesn't start producing any of the hormones required for symptoms until then.

You will get plenty of people who tell you they've had symptoms earlier than 10dpo but it's most likely just psychosomatic.

I found it helpful to know this when I was ttc as it kept my symptom spotting under control.

Best of luck to everyone ttc. Took us a long time to conceive dd2 and I got a lot of support here. She's 6 weeks old and snuggled up asleep now!

Aw that's lovely TMNT. Hopefully one day soon for all of us. Glad to know this is a place that I can get support and/or a virtual fish round the chops when needed

Thanks ninja, that does help. I have been trying to tell myself that these "symptoms" are probably just the consequences of coming off the pill so that reinforces it. I'm off work this week so clearly have too much thinking time!