Does anyone else feel overwhelmed by it all and undecided???

[Lizzy86]

I am new to the site so do bare with me...

I'm 27 and have been with my partner for 4 years. I suffer with depression and have done for over 4 years now, just 2weeks ago, we decided to try for our first baby. One day i'm excited and looking forward to the future, the next i'm doubting whether i'm actually ready to be a mum and if it will ruin the relationship i have built with my partner. I know nothing is ever straightforward but well, i feel lost.
I seem to feel numb about it today, tomorrow who knows. I'm scared really that i'm going to be carrying a baby and it will make my depression worse. I am currently taking citaolpram 10mg, and i feel fine on this medicine. I've started to take 400m of folic acid too.

Does anyone else feel undecided about trying for a baby? Is there ever a perfect time? For me, personally, i feel numb. My partner is very supportive and we have days where we don't talk about it, but my head is filled up with so many questions. I suppose it's normal to a extent, but for me, i just feel like i should be a lot more happier at the prospect.

Hi there, I never wanted kids, however when I hit my 30's I got the old biological clock thing. So after much persuasion we decided to try for a baby. We had been together 14 years so I thought we were as stable as it gets.
I was just like you, one day excited then the next thinking it was a mistake! In fact the day I found out I was pregnant I actually thought about having an abortion as I was so scared!! It's natural to be scared and no there is never a perfect time or situation. I won't lie we had a rough start as little one had some issues and I had a terrible labour. Kara is now 20 months old and an absolute cracker, and neither of us would change a thing. It may be worth speaking to your doctor about your concerns regarding depression though. Whatever you decide, good luck.

thanks hun for the kind reply. i guess its all a learning curve....just never a simple thing... :)

It is, we all start out clueless, until I had my daughter I'd never even held a baby! But it soon comes to you, and as each child is different anyway, you learn about your own child and their needs, yes it's hard but also very rewarding.

I feel just the same and I'm about to start round three of IVF. I think it says a lot that you are having these thoughts. For so many they put less thought into having a baby than they do into the colour of their sofa.

Pipbin you're so right!! It is a massive decision, we talked long and hard for at least a year before deciding to try. Some people just pop them out without a thought.

And I think the speed makes a difference too. With us this has now been 4 years of TTCing and you get to the point where you really start to think about it. Yet other friends conceived within two months of trying. Even including the whole pregnancy they did n't have as long as us to think if it was what they really wanted.

Very true. I hope you are successful soon, it's very hard looking after a baby but it is worth it in the end. It seems a shame to me how some people who really want kids can't have them and yet others who let's be honest shouldn't be having any are popping them out no bother. The world is unfair sometimes, good luck xx

Very true. I hope you are successful soon, it's very hard looking after a baby but it is worth it in the end. It seems a shame to me how some people who really want kids can't have them and yet others who let's be honest shouldn't be having any are popping them out no bother. The world is unfair sometimes, good luck xx