Can we DTD yet?

[linadee26]

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice. I had an ERPC 11 days ago followed an incomplete miscarriage. MMC was discovered 4 days before this.

My bleeding has stopped but I'm not sure whether or not it is too soon to DTD again.
I do want to start trying again very soon but it is not just about that. Since all this happened, it has hit me very hard and I am really feeling the need to connect with my DH physically as well as emotionally.

Is it too soon? If so, how long should we wait?

Thanks for your help/advice in advance

Lina x

You can DTD anytime you feel ready but you need a bfn if you are ttc again, otherwise you will not know if you do get pregnant again
Sorry for your loss this happened to me back in May and I understand the need to be close again

Thanks Tilly, and I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's not really about ttc at this stage although if it happens we will be delighted.

We are just going to see how things go.

Tbh, I don't think I've ever felt the need to be close to my DH so strongly. I don't really understand it as I expected to feel the opposite given what we've just been through.
I'm glad someone else understands.

The first time we DTD I cried and was quite nervous, but it somehow made me feel "normal" again, if that makes sense. The whole mc brought us closer together anyway so it felt right when we were ready

I agree with Tilly

I found comfort DTD with no pressure for either side to orgasm after my miscarriages we needed to DTD iyswim as an extension of our grief. It sounds odd written down but I know what I mean. A more intimate cuddle really. Which from your post is what you need. Sex can be so healing, I think I cried the whole time after our first loss but I needed to, DH was so kind and understanding

Be kind to yourself. It's a horrible time you're going through

Cross posted with tilly but seems we are normal with this

I had a mmc, last year i completely understand the desperation to connect to your dh, even now i love being tied up in his arms, the safest place to be!

To be honest i have no idea when we dtd after my ERPC, but i bounced back relatively quickly. So imagine it can't have been long after the BFN.

Also if you do go back to TTC, i am currently pregnant again, 29 weeks and even though its really scary to begin with you will relax and enjoy your pregnancy. I remember in the week after i discovered the mmc i thought every pregnancy after that one would be ruined. But after the 12 scan it felt much better.

Thank you all so much.

It wasn't really what my OP was about but I wonder if there's something to this for women who have had an mc.

When my mmc was discovered sex was the furthest thing from my mind. But it's interesting that we've all experienced this need to connect and physical closeness.

Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope you're keeping well and everything goes smoothly for you now.

Lina x