babies or nursing.......

[liane123]

Hi,

Im 27 soon to be 28 and I cant decide whether to start a family or go to uni and do nursing first. Im desperate for a baby ans have been since I was a teenager but if I have one now il have to stay in a job I really dont enjoy. If I do nursing it means putting off trying for 4 years. I could do nursing in the future if I start a family now but will probably be harder. Im confused..... any thoughts would be welcome :0)

X o x o

My sister was in exactly the same position! She chose to have babies first but wishes she had done the nursing first. She had her first baby at 29, another at 32. She eventually started her nursing training in her late 30's but wishes she had trained first as it was a demanding course and although she managed it, she would've enjoyed it more if she hadn't had to worry about getting home for the children. She also found trying to study at home with small children really difficult and only part of the course is spent at uni, a lot is on placement and some with the to be expected unsociable hours. I would say uni first, enjoy your training and the experience, in 4 years you'll still only be 32. Good luck!

I'd say have a lovely family and forget the nursing!!

Only because I'm a nurse and it's such an unrewarding slog!

As in shock says do the course first as it's full on these days and I wouldn't want to be juggling little ones.

Good luck x

Tomkat my sister says the same re being an rewarding slog! :)

oops autocorrect that should've said unrewarding slog!

Hi all,

Thanks so much for ur ideas. Very much appreciated. Still in two minds. I lost my mum a few years ago and ever since then have been desperate for a family and feel emotionally ready now. But my job is in an office and completely soul destroying staring at a computer all day. Il love to be helping people in my job. But then i totally get where u guys are coming from i could be completely romanticising the role of a nurse and will be stresfull. Hmmmmm

X o x o x o

Completely understand your dilemma. And just wanted to pitch in with another perspective. I'm in my early thirties (spring chicken ) and it took over a year to conceive my first. We are now trying for our second, and after 20 months dealing with possible secondary infertility issues I really wish I had started having family earlier. I know I may still have had trouble conceiving, but I might not have felt quite so concerned with 'time' if you know what I mean. Its a really personal choice, take your time and do what you feel is right for you. There are pro's and con's either way. Also wanted to say sorry for your loss.

ps. I also fully intend to retrain once my LO is in school.

Good luck

Hello!

I'm a nurse and currently TTC with it taking longer than anticipated. I have known a few nursing students who take a break, just like you would take your maternity leave and then return to the course. So there isn't really any reason why you couldn't do both - unless you wouldn't plan to work afterwards after because of childcare etc?

I am currently struggling with a dilemma of whether to book our wedding or wait until we get pregnant, and am coming to the conclusion that you don't know how long it will take and feeling like you want to get it over with so you can do something else puts added pressure on. Good luck with deciding, I can appreciate its not easy

Thanks acquisence thats really helpful. Do you know if u get any money and how long u could take off if I was to fall pregnant while studying? I dont have any childcare help but could maybe put some savings away as a nursary fund?

Can I also ask do u enjoy nursing? It looks really rewarding.

I umderstand the whold dillema around ttc and whether you should put ur wedding offor not. Maybe u could think about uf you minded being pregnant in a wedding dress? I think a pregnant bride would look beutiful and blooming but not everyone would want to be pregnant. Or maybe u could take a quick break from ttc and then start trying again maybe 5ish mo ths before ur wedding and then ur bump wouldnt be huge but then morning sickness may not be pleasant. Or take a breal from ttc and then habe ur wedding soonish...

so many options life is full of tricky decisions but good luck!

X o x o

Thanku keeponjuggling I have thought that. I think thats why im in such a dilemma. It would be awful to leave having a family until late and realise that u have problems. Good luck with trying for ur second :0) do you know what u wamt tp retrain as?

X o x o

I'm in a similar situation (although midwifery instead of nursing), I've recently had a MC though so am going to focus on growing a bean first, then do the midwifery degree when I feel ready. If I had to choose between being a mother and raising children or having a better career, I'd choose family any day.

It doesn't mean you can't do both, but I do worry about how long it can actually take to have a child, there's no guarantee that the baby dust will sprinkle our way straight away.

Best of luck in whatever you choose to do, how exciting to have it all to look forward too :)

Hi liane123

I don't know about more than a year but you can certainly take a year off and then join in with the next year group - just as you would do if you were ill.

You would need to check about fees and bursaries at the uni you are applying to and looking at your individual circumstances.

I love nursing and would recommend it - I am a mental health nurse so quite different, but the training structure is the name and ultimately the aim of the job - to look after people! Despite cuts etc the NHS is a flexible employer in terms of work/family life balance.

thanks for your thoughts re wedding, yes I'm not sure if I would fancy being a pregnant bride, I have something nice and fitted in mind! But of course a baby is my priority so I will take what life offers me!

PS I qualified at 26 but there are many many people who train in their 30s and beyond so I wouldn't worry about that aspect xx

I am also a nurse, i started studying at 25 with 2 beautiful children, very demanding course, long hours of physical and academical demanding work as a student plus a home and family to support i can only stress how difficult this is. Many times i was close to giving up. Now a nurse for a few years i hv to agree it is a very stressful, underpayed, overworked unrewarding job, plz think carefully if this is wat u want. If i had the chance i would not to it all over again. Now currently ttc baby no 3 since april after being on the pill for 7 years so wish me luck. Good luck with ur decision.

Hi liane123 I am hoping to retrain as a midwife or look into routes to becoming a health visitor (i think most are nurses first though). Having said that its really helpful seeing others comments about the job. acquiescence hope your wedding plans come together smoothly, but fingers crossed for your bfp too. Life is so full of big decisions, its hard to know what to prioritise. But like I said in my earlier post if I could do the last 10 years again I'm fairly sure I'd start trying for a family earlier. But that's just me and hindsight is a wonderful (bloody awful) thing good luck everyone

Thanks for all ur comments x x x x and good luck keeponjuggling withbbaby numbervtwo and studying. I think ive reakised u cant have everything u want right now its just a case of doing the most important things first. I think a lot of people are in the same boat.

x o x o