When do you know when to start trying?

[kaykayblue]

Hey ladies,

Firstly, a huge good luck to all of the ladies here who are already ttc!

I have a query that I'd really appreciate some sage advice on. I'll try to lay it out as clearly and concisely as possible.

I am getting married early next year, and once we've started getting deposits down for the wedding, I really want to avoid getting into a situation where I'm heavily pregnant at the wedding. My family are pretty traditional, and I think that would be difficult for them. That said, my fiancé and I have agreed that we would be happy for me to conceive pretty much straight after the wedding.

This is partly because I am already 30, and would like to have 2 children (maybe 3...?) without having to worry too much about ticking clocks. My fiancé is younger than me and would happily wait another five years, but respects my point.

So here is my problem - I have no idea when I should start ttc. My fiancé seems to think that he just needs to wink at me and I'll be pregnant, whilst I know that it can take months and months of trying before you get anywhere.

I wouldn't mind being pregnant at the wedding as long as I wasn't showing, and could fit into the dress I am paying huge amounts of money for.

Do you think it would be wise to start trying in December, rather than waiting until the wedding is over? That way we have already made a start, and if nothing else, we are already a few months (hopefully) closer.

I'd really appreciate any advice.

PS, Just to add that I came off the pill for unrelated reasons two years ago, so my cycle is pretty stable. It's been a regular 28 day cycle for the last year or so, with the occasional 26 day or 29 day cycle here and there. I'm not on any medication. My mother had fertility problems but seems to have had symptoms a long time beforehand that I don't have.

Fiancé's family seem to be able to breed at a drop of a hat.

Hi Kaykay, personally, I would wait until after. I got married in November and it was pretty stressful in the month before (even though it was a smallish wedding) would have worried about the effect of the stress on the little bean or having morning sickness on my big day- also wouldn't have wanted to not be able to have a drink or two. I would start trying on honeymoon
What you could do is maximise your chances of conceiving quickly - cut back on alcohol and caffeine etc. Also, something I really wish I had done is chart my cycles - waited for a few months before doing this and learnt that I ovulate later than I thought I did so we had been timing things wrong.
Enjoy planning your big day!

Thanks for the tip! I see what you mean - I guess I am just worried that I will leave it until after the wedding then expect it to happen quickly, and it end up taking years :S

I guess it doesn't make that much difference - if it's going to take a while then it will take a while!!

I already vaguely track my cycle on my phone. I'm not exactly sure when I ovulate, but I'd say I know within a four day time frame. I'll try and get it more precise though!

I was in a really similar position, getting married in 3 weeks and want a baby pretty damn quick after. I came off the pill 4 months ago thinking that at 4 months I wouldn't show much.... and nothing has happened. I know 4 months isn't v long at all but I'm still gutted so do just bear in mind it may happen instantly and it may also very much not so we went for a point where it wouldn't be a hassle either way. good luck with ttc and the wedding!

Congratulations on getting married! I would suggest tracking your cycles more closely, getting a better idea of when you ovulate by looking at dates and symptoms such as cervical mucus. Ovulation sticks can help too. Then when you do start trying you can make sure your 'efforts' are more likely to have the desired effect! Hehe

I did this and expected to be ttc for months but actually timed things really well and got pg 2weeks after having my coil removed( age 30)

Also suggest waiting until after the wedding as you don't know if you'll suffer from morning sickness etc

Good luck!

If it was me I would wait until after the wedding day. You might get pregnant straight away and have terrible morning sickness and I mean terrible. Some people can't even walk without a sick bucket because of the constant nausea. Also you get really tired, some people can't eat anything without it coming back up, which leave you drained.

Plus the best thing about weddings is having a little champagne! Toasting to your new life. Make the honeymoon your big TTC date, I also don't think it changes your chances whether you've been trying for 1 or 6 months.

I would wait until after, yes it could take a while but it might also happen straight away! Like the others have said, if you are pregnant at the wedding but not showing, most likely you will feel horrific. Exhausted, sick, it might really spoil your special day!

Hey ladies, thanks to all for the advice!

You guys make a good point about morning sickness and feeling like crap.

In which case we'll wait until the month of the wedding (in which case the wedding would fall before my period would be missed) or directly after :)

I really appreciate people's views - thank you! I guess I will just have to cross my fingers that we luck out with the super high fertility rate on my fiancé's side of the family!!

All that said and done, I am waiting for the weekend to make sure my AF arrives, as we had a slight contraception malfunction earlier this month during my ovulation window. I'm 95% certain that I'm not pregnant but will be pleased when this gets confirmed!

Otherwise there will be some highly awkward conversations to be had.