IVF & telling work

[BlueKarou]

Just looking for a bit of advice really.

I've been seeing a consultant about starting IVF, and things are starting to get moving. I'm about an hour away from the main clinic (about half an hour from the satellite hospital so I won't always have to travel so far) which means it's going to be impossible to attend appointments on my lunch break. So far I've managed to fit blood tests in first thing in the morning, turning up a little bit late, but I took last Friday off as I had a lunchtime appointment and it seemed easier. The next appointment I've been offered to get things started is at 16:45 on a week day next week, and I usually finish at 18:00, and will have to leave around 15:00 in order to get home, change, then ensure I beat the traffic. This is a bit late minute to ask for a half day's leave, which is my current plan.

So I guess I'm sort of asking what I tell my boss in order to explain my need for short notice leave (which he could easily refuse) and any future requirements for time off - I'm not expecting to use sick pay unless I have to; I have enough annual leave remaining to take time off around the actual egg retrieval and embryo transplant.

Is there any reason I shouldn't tell him I'm undergoing fertility treatment? Other than my own privacy? The department are shortstaffed as it is, and I've been with the company for almost 8 years, so I don't think my job's at risk. It's generally a good place in terms of flexible working hours.

Or do I just say I'm undergoing some medical treatment, and leave it vague?

Thanks.

Sorry - next appointment's not for a couple of weeks; I had a complete fail at knowing what day today was! So not so last minute, but the question still stands - I'm going to need to take time off fairly often before I'm actually pregnant (assuming that happens) - so does anyone have any experience of telling their work/not telling their work?

I didn't tell.

4 goes before it worked

The clinic is only 20 mins drive from work and home and I did all my appointments early, like 730am.

'Worked' from home on embryo transfer day and I think I took leave for egg retrieval.

That does seem like the ideal way of doing it. The only appointments I've been offered (a counselling session as I'm donating eggs, and using donor sperm) are between 10am and 5pm, which are core working hours here.

Maybe I'll just submit the leave request and try to avoid conversation about why I'm taking off half a Tuesday. Thank goodness for automated leave management!

I didn't tell work, but I was really fortunate in that I can take flexitime, my clinic is 10 min walk from the office and also most of the appointments were ultrasounds which are scheduled at 8am. Personally I would never tell work unless it was absolutely necessary. No matter how supportive and family friendly an employer seems, as soon as you tell them it will be in the back of their mind that you are likely to get pregnant soon and it may be to your detriment. If you have to say something, maybe say you are having some (non-specified) medical treatment and that you might need to take time off at short notice. Most clinics will give you a sick note for the day of EC and ET and sometimes up to a week. If you are worried about the note coming from a fertility clinic you could always ask your GP to rewrite it for you so it's not obvious what it is. Good luck BTW!