The impact of possible dc 3 on our family

[monkeytree]

Hi, Hope I have posted in the correct thread, please let me know if I haven't I am 40 and have 2 dd's one who is nearly 8 and another who is 8 months. The gap in ages was partly intentional and partly because I have fertility issues and was told that I was unlikely to have a second dc which increased the gap even further. Our miracle arrived and now I am wondering if I could tempt fate and have a third dc. I know that if this is in anyway to become a reality then we will have to begin trying asap. My husband who is older than me is not so keen and says that he feels comfortable with the 2 dds. He is worried that our older dd will feel left out if a new sibling came along who is closer in age to baby dd. Also concerned that baby may have health difficulties. Baby dd has a heart murmur (believed to be innocent) and was born with protruding skin tag on her cheek and ear which will need removing soon. Is it unfair to think about another dc due to potential health implications? Husband also concerned how I would manage with another little one so close in age, sleeplessness etc. The fact that I have fertility problems makes the reality of another dc appearing quite small but still why cant I let go? This is a last chance decision I feel. Anyone had similar experiences/any comment to make?

I think you have to be honest with yourself, when you talk of another 'little one' is it a third baby or third child?

We stopped at two, partly because of doing sums and looking at the life we had. Extra space required in house and car, food for a third child, more expensive family days out let alone holidays, and later possible further education. But we were also feeling we had already pushed our luck - health-wise, my pregnancies had gone smoothly but the births were high tech. Our DCs were healthy but suppose the next had major complications. And even if a third pregnancy and birth presented no problems what if the baby was a reluctant sleeper or DC2 became the terrible toddler?

You have to stop some time. If your DH has doubts it isn't fair to chivvy him. I understand that there might seem a child-shaped gap but it is easy to downplay the dreary practicalities when cuddling your youngest and seeing how good your pfb is with her sister.

PS Another helpful section to look at is Larger Families over in the Being a Parent section.