Do I just give up? This is not a positive thread sorry!

[dildoos]

Hi this is not a positive thread at all.
I am after some advice? Thoughts? Opinopns? Don't worry you can't offend me or make me feel any worse than I do.
Been trying to conceive for well over 3 years. 6 mc on the last being October and I am at my wits end.
I am lucky I have a gorgeous 6 year old daughter from a previous marriage who I tried for nearly 3 years for. I would love for my DP and I to have a child together and for my daughter to get her one wish and give her a sibling just like all her friends and cousins.
I am emotional every day 26 but this one is worse as no high on my clear blue monitor for now 2 cycles and being away with my parents at the most crucial time of my cycle meant that my DP did not want to DTD as he felt awkward and I thoroughly understand but meant we only got to DTD twice this month.
I am feeling very down, alone and unsure what to do next.
All our tests to date have come back fine other than his low sperm count which they won't help for as we 'fall' pregnant!
Sorry this really is a very self obsessed thread and unsure what I am hoping for?
Guess I am hoping for one of you reading this may be a fairy godmother?
X

I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you had any investigations for the mcs? Do they know why they are happening and are you getting any support in early pg?

May I ask how old you are?

Had gynae appointment , ultra sound and genetic testing of myself and DP . We can only pay to go to a fertility clinic as I already have my daughter.
I am 33 my DP is 31 x

At your ages I would agree to have a year off. Holidays if you can, enjoy your family as is and see how you feel next year.

When next June comes around talk and look at how you feel about fertility treatment then. Your age is on your side.

Sorry for your losses and the strain that comes with it.

I'm so so sorry for your losses.

Could you pay to have some basic tests for the causes of the m/c? Are they early m/c? Have you had things like your thyroid checked?

It doesn't sound like you have trouble conceiving. So I would stop and have a break. Could you then have some private blood tests done to investigate further. I wouldn't give up without knowing why.

FWIW my friend had a recurrent m/c and tests didnt show why so she took aspirin the next time she was pregnant. I don't know the dose. And it worked.

I know there aren't miracle cures but it might be something that can be sorted.

I hope things work out and all the best x

Thank you, yes I need to make that firm choice and say no more for a year, I know then every month the outcome instead of false hopes xx

well, looks like you have not looked into any serious options yet, which is a good thing. Something may come up if you took yourself to the other level of fertility testing.
When do tou mc? Chemicals or 10 weekish? if chemicals, go check your immunes, NK cells, with prof Quenby or mr. Shehata. Google. You will find.
if you mc later, have your thyroid checked. Often a problem which can very easily be solved.
Again, early mcs may indicate a clotting probelm easily solvable with aspirin. Or clexane, depending on the nature of disorder.
You may also want to have a biopsy to test for diffuse adenomyosis, a common cause for early mcs. untreatable, but you would at least know that tou probably have no hope.
then, there is the common issue of progesterone deficiency, which again is testable, treatable and if untreated causes miscarriages.
All this information can be googed online and you can learn tons, if you want to take action. sad truth is, is you have to take action and seek out different docs who believe/do not believe ib different infertility reasons/treatments and try them all until you find out what helps ypu. Just waiting it to happen may mean it will not happen. Read through MN threads on mc, pregnancy on prednisolone etc. Start making appointment,s going to docs and teying their different solutions. It takes time and money, but lots of people happne finally to find what their reasons are. the thyroid and progesterone testing is very common, NK cells are only some docs, clotting disorders most mc clinics do also as a routine.

Ohh daddy- yes thyroid checked , 21 days bloods, etc tests carried out.
I was told by a private gynae before seeing NHS one to take aspirin when pregnant at start (junior aspirin) but this sadly didn't help for us, it's to help with good blood flow and prevent clotting and blockages. I had my thrombophilia test and all ok.

It's so frustrating but thinking a year out might help mentally xx

Thank you jass, all the info to look into , maybe this could shed light and give more thoughts xx

OP, Jass sounds b knowledgeable. Just wanted to add I found a great book called Avoiding Miscarriage after mine and it was great. It looks at when the m/c is happening to point you in the right direction. It's by Susan Rousselot.

Thank you ohh daddy. Will have a look on amazon! Thank you all for just listening to my issues x

No worries dildoos. Sorry you are going through this x

Thank you it really is nice of you all to help shed some light on what I could /should do x

I had multiple MC over several years before DC4 in my 40s. Was getting preg every 2nd or 3rd cycle.

On the advice of consultant, I took very high folic acid (5mg, you can take about 6 of the normal ones if you can't get hold of 5mg ones, I couldn't sometimes even with a prescription due to a supply issue), I was to take them while TTC and till about 20weeks preg. Also high strength fish oil and vitamin d. I was also to take mini aspirin as soon as I got a positive test, and until (I think) about 30 weeks (maybe 34, can't quite remember).

My very next pregnancy was successful. As well as helping in other ways, the thing all the above have in common, is they all have an anti inflammatory action - they reduce inflammation and so reduce the chances of the immune system attacking the embryo, it's placenta and the blood supply to it. Vit d.

A lot of immune and autoimmune factors increase as we get older, some can be tested for, some not. I very much wish that I'd been gluten and grain free while TTC, I do think I might have made a difference, based on the huge health improvements I've had in the 3 years since adopting a paleo/primal diet (grain and gluten free, low sugar).
Therefore, I'd suggest gluten free (can't do any harm, may help), as it does seem to have an inflammatory effect on many many people.

And of course a year out if you feel that's going to help... You are young enough to have the luxury of time .

I'm sorry you ate going through this I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

I think having seen what you have had testing for, your most logical move now would be NK cell testing with Dr. shetata (sp?). I've known quite a few women (all from here!) to have successful pregnancies after mc by NK cell treatment.

Good luck whatever you decide.

UNless the NHS rules have changed dramatically (which is alwyas possible) you can be referred to a fertility clinic if you have secondary infertility. IVF might not be funded but I'm almost certain other options would be.

I also second what raw says about diet. Gluten can cause an autoimmune and inflammatory response in many people which can affect many aspects of health.

If you are taking time out you could also consider a wheat free/low sugar regime too. Do you have any other health concerns that might point to whether diet could help this?

After a few years of crappy health, I spent a long time reading and ditched wheat, sugar, dairy, vegetable oils. Not really paleo - which is what raw does and which I also have huge respect for - I am kind of paleo with more non gluten carbs like potatoes and rice. My health has changed completely and I'm rather boringly evangelical about it now.

I also wish I had known of this when TTC.

PM if you want more info. I found a fab book whose regime I follow.

Waves to Daddypig .

Although paleo/primal is not of itself "low carb", it's just less carb than the standard industrial diet, which has way too many carbs iykwim!

I do low carb but for those who are lean, fit and active, there are plenty of non grain carb such as root veg (and that includes white potato for those who don't react to potato- a nightshade). Sweet potato, carrot, onion, banana or plantain are all good carb sources that shouldn't be inflammatory... But remember to cook them in good fat (ie NOT industrial omega rich "veg" oils which are highly inflammatory). Butter, Kerrygold is good (oh yes!), raw coconut oil, cold pressed olive oil, home rendered beef or pork fat... All fabulous !!!!