Im so worried :(

[impatientlywaiting14]

Hi

I got my BFP on 7th May and see my doctor on the 13th May. I am 5 weeks 3 days today (Tuesday 20th) i have had right shoulder ache on and off since around the 10th may. i have been sleeping on my right side which i don't usually do and have put the shoulder ache/pain down to this.

Yesterday (Mon may 19th) I had some mild cramps in the morning which seemed to go and returned about mid day and become stronger as the afternoon went on, they become quite uncomfortable so i went for a lay down early evening and when i woke up they had seemed to pass. around half hour after i woke i started to bleed like i was having my period which was due around the 10th. I called the hospital for advice and they advised to go to A&E. They couldn't give me much information and said its either a normal bleed, an ectopic pregnancy or I'm miscarrying. They have arranged a scan for Wednesday morning (21st).

The pain become worse and worse while i was waiting there and is now radiating in my back as well as abdomen. Before i fell pregnant i suffered with endo and it feels very much like a very painful period. Im trying to hold out hope but cant help think it doesn't look good. Im so worried im miscarrying :(

Hi Bean

It is, I feel worse today than yesterday then feel selfish for self indulging when so many have suffered a loss later on and got to see there baby's heart beat. All I got to see is a picture of an empty uterus, not sure if that makes me feel better or not. O.H was hopeful until the scan whereas I just knew Monday it had all gone wrong. Hes not doing too great but says as soon as im up to we will try again xxx

I'm so sorry to read this. Please don't feel bad about grieving or being sad even if 'it wasn't an actual baby' because even though biologically that may be true, in your head you were having a baby and had no doubt started thinking about your future with your baby in it - you've now had that taken away from you so you have the right to feel just as upset as anyone else, you've still had a loss x x

Hi Rachie Thank-you for that xxxx

I forgot to say they called with blood results, they said the level is only 20
(so assuming they mean the hgc levels) so as long as Fridays blood level has dropped then all is fine so that rules out an ectopic. I don't believe they can give me anymore information as to what happened as i started to bleed Monday and yesterday they couldn't say for sure what happened. I believe the miscarriage took place Monday.

Thank-you so much writer, you have got it to a T. we had already started to make plans and save the money. His family were all so excited his brother has tons of baby stuff sitting in storage that hes paying for, he was really pleased to give it to us as he knows how much it would help. The family were already talking about whether it would be a boy or girl and how they would fit in (as all young kids in the family are boys) and planning the baby shower. my nephew was really excited for a sibling as my sis in law has polycistic ovaries, he is a blessing for her xxxx

hi impatiently... I'm so sorry to hear this I just read this thread... I can't imagine how it feels. I was so pleased for you on our other thread. take your time being down in the dumps there's no denying its a shitty situation but, you have a supportive husband and no reason not to give it a go again when you're ready. When You're Ready!

You have every right to see the way you do hun, in a way it might be a good thing that some ppl know so they give you some support whilst you are down, it would be terrible if you had to suffer in silence as it were. Hope you feel better soon x x

Hi Thamrin

Yes im lucky to have a very supportive husband, although im worried about how hes coping as hes an inward worrier and isn't one to show his emotions or really talk about things. I have been having a cry to release how im feeling.

Bean I was feeling like am i justified in feeling so sad when it was such early days? As writer said though, i have still suffered a loss. That is a very good way to describe it i feel a loss and like something is missing now. we were both soooo excited and had such a spring in our step, now that's gone too. Yes you are right with family its nice to have the support, i only wish it would have been kept to more immediate family and not friends of the family and work colleagues as now more people to have to inform.

Thank-you both and to everyone, the support means alot xxxx

So sorry to hear this

Thank-you OooOoo xxxx

How are you doing impatiently?x

Hi Bean I was doing ok yesterday and feeling quite strong. I am doing quite badly today it feels like I have taken 3 steps back today. i suppose it has sunk in. Thank-you for asking after me that means a lot xxxx

I'm sure you will feel very up and down, time is the best healer, hope things feel more positive soon xx

Hi Bean
Yes it is, I Hope i feel more positive again soon. Thanks for your comment xxxx

Awww impatiently i was following the same post as you when you got your BFP hun.
I am so so sorry for your loss hun.
Stay strong. Xxx

Hi 1more Thank-you for that I am trying my best to stay strong, especially as it was so early on. Because of that i feel i am not justified in feeling upset, unlike a person who had seen there baby's heartbeat (i know that must be 100 times worse) so its making it tough to accept it xx

Aww hunni. A loss is a loss & we all deal with these things differently. I understand what your saying, but to have that excitement & happiness & then to have it all taken away from you. It is hard.
I had a miscarriage 5 years ago. I didnt even know i was pregnant at the time, i felt like i shouldnt feel as upset as others who did know & like you say seen them on a scan ect. It still hurts though. I was around 7 weeks but as i have irreg periods didnt notice i had missed a period.
I dont know if it will help but i bought myself a little angel which i keep on my bedside cabinet & is still there now, for me to remember my angel baby. It helped me.
Big hugs impatiently xxx

Hi 1more

I replied the day you posted your comment, but it didn't post for some reason. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and hope that as time has passed it has become easier for you living with. And you had just as much right to be upset as anyone else xxxx

Your right, its all excitement, getting a taste of it just long enough to start investing in it, to then have it all snatched away. Just gutting. I was in a very low place.

I went out and brought something to remember my angel baby too. i'm very into birthstones and brought a few things with the birthstone of the month of babys due date and have a little angle pin on my coat, so my baby is with me always. Its really helped me and feeling a little more positive now and not so low. Thanks so much for your help xxxx