TTC New High Powered Job???

[Tally1]

Hi everyone,
A bit of background... I'm currently doing a job which is very flexible, boss happy for you to work from home, ok pay (not great, it's lower than I was on a few years ago), but I don't find particularly challenging.

I saw a job a couple of months ago that thought was a perfect fit and a good few £k more than I'm on, and thought what the hell I'll apply. I've now had a 2nd interview and I think I may be offered it, the question is do I want it, I'm now having big doubts? This is because DH and I had decided to start TTC next month, I'm off the pill and ready to go. I would have a few months notice to give. I don't feel we could go ahead with TTC if I took the role a) as I could be a few months pregnant possibly before I started and not on top form taking on a new role, b)the role would be very challenging to start as is management level and there's a lot to understand/implement not, great if pregnant, c) at the interview they said how it was going to be so important and good to have someone there for more than a year for consistency, as previously it's been a covered post. This point especially made me feel really bad with TTC and reconsider!

I had thought of putting off TTC by a few months but I'm in my early 30s and have realised I just can't wait any longer for it to be the 'right time', I desperately want to get going. Would I be stupid to turn it down as jobs like this don't come along very often, but at the same time feel my priority should be a less stressful job when TTC/pregnant/having newborn baby as I'm going to have enough on my plate. Or if offered it should I be honest and say about not feeling I can accept as TTC and see what they say??
I'd just like people's views on this please to help me reach a decision.

It's a tough one, but I would say don't let your life be ruled by 'what ifs'. You could fall pregnant straight away, or it could take you a year or more. Would you regret not taking the job if the latter was the case?

If you take the job and do get pregnant quickly you might feel bad about it, but these things happen and I'm sure you'd find a way to work things out. Good luck!

Oh this post really caught my attention! :-)

I am 33, no children and have a well paid, director level position in the pharmaceutical sector. All the considerations you describe went through my head before taking the promotion to this level..... about 18 months ago. I absolutely wish you all the very best for TTC and would never wish it on anyone to have to wait as long as I have been, but it can certainly be one hell of a journey!

I agree with Metalhead and would say that if the job is a good fit, better pay, you think you would enjoy it and that they want you, then you should take it. Can you have some discussions with your current employer about reduced notice period so you can start the new role quicker? Worst case scenario is that you go off on maternity leave before the first 12 months is through, and that would mean getting pregnant pretty quickly. If that happens, I'm sure you could have some discussions with your new employer about your maternity leave, options for "stay-in-touch" days while off, how you can get up to speed as quickly as possible now, and also reassure them that this job is very important to you (and remind them you were the best candidate!). Remember you don't need to tell them you are pregnant until quite far into your pregnancy- 20 weeks I think?

Good luck both with TTC and the job! :-)

Thanks for your responses. Do you think it's worth saying to the new employer (line manager would be female with kids) that I am TTC and want them to know this before I accepted the role, and are they are ok with that. I know there is a risk I wouldn't then get the job but the ball would be in the employers court, and if they feel I'm therefore not suitable then that's fine.
I know this could be possibly classed as discrimination, but personally I'd rather know now the employer wouldn't want someone TTC as a new starter and it's not the job for me, and stay in current position, rather than stressing myself for months about falling pregnant and how they'd be with me when they found out. I believe in honesty from the start.
I know it could take months/years TTC but I hate pulling the wool over someones eyes that's offered me a job, and this would stress me out knowing this could happen and take away from my enjoyment of TTC.

I would take the job and keep quiet about ttc. They know the risk when employing women of a certain age, and tbh they will discriminate and they will probably not offer you the job. It is your right to have children no matter how long you have worked somewhere. they can deal with it!

Hey Tally.

I have to agree with the previous posters. I would go for the job (good luck!) and not say a word.

I understand that you feel honesty is the best policy (and that´s a great quality to have). But unfortunately you have no way of knowing if this prospective employer will treat you fairly once you´ve told them. Yes it would be illegal for them to discriminate against you on that basis, but who´s to know? They´ll just conjure up some other reason to find you not suitable for the post. The fact that the manager is female with kids doesn´t make it less likely to happen. At the end of the day, people are generally selfish and look out for their own interests rather than other people´s. Why risk it?

To be honest they´re not stupid and any employer taking on a woman in their 30s does so on the asusmption (rightly or wrongly) that they´ll want to start a family soon. That´s the prejudice we sadly have to confront in our careers. If they give the job to you thinking you´re the best candidiate, there is no reason you should feel bad for starting a family shortly afterwards (it´s a fundamental human right!) Whether you decide to delay TTC for a few months so you can make the best start in the job is another matter and for you to decide.

Like I said I would go for it. As suggested above, you could try and get your notice period reduced or take unused leave - most employers are quite flexible about this when they realise somebody is going.

If it makes you feel better, you could delay TTC for a few months. In this time, start tracking your cycle (if you´re not doing so already) to try and pinpoint when you´re ovulating. This will give you a head start when you do TTC, and maybe you´ll feel more relaxed that the time is not being "wasted".

For what it´s worth I´m going through a similar thing at the moment. I´ve been a contractor fighting for a permanent position for the last 4 years. I started TTC nearly 2 years ago, knowing there was a chance that if I got pregnant they wouldn´t renew my contract. I didn´t want to put my life on hold for something that wasn´t in my control though.

I´m about to start IVF treatment tomorrow. I´ve also been told there is a permanent post coming up and, unofficially, it has my name on it. I´m still going ahead with the IVF anyway and not telling anybody. I deserve the job and I won´t give them the chance to treat me unfairly.

I'm the same sort of situation. My current job is crap, but wondered whether I stick it out so as not to screw over a new employer. But now a perfect job has come up and I've got an interview on Tuesday. Decided not to let myself be held hostage by my body (which this month has given me a 49 day cycle - cheers for that and we've been ttc since December), so going to go for the job! What will be will be! Just going to be greedy!

Hello Tally, thank you so much for this post. Im not exactly in the same position but have been struggling with the same thoughts about career vs TTC. It's really enlightening to hear people's opinions on this topic. Personally, I am only just starting out in my career after going to Uni as an adult. I don't feel I am quite where I want to be career wise just yet but the old biological clock is ticking..( now 31). I've been in my job for 18m and on the verge of a promotion but have been TTC since Nov. Iv been feeling so guilty to be saying yes to my work ambitions and driving my department forward when in the back of my mind I'm constantly thinking about the impending prospect of buggering off on mat leave. My job involves travel and I know having a baby will put the breaks on and cause problems for my company which I feel guilty for. Its a tricky issue to come to terms with.

When I interviewed for my job I was living with my bf, by the time I started we had got engaged. So I turned up for my first day of work with a big ring on my finger and I bet they though uh-oh!!! A year later I got married and shrugged off any comments on babies etc with the usual, 'not ready', 'career first' type statements. But secretly we are TTC. I really think you should carry on regardless with your career plans, you never know how long TTC will take and if this s your dream job you will be with the company for the long haul. Having a baby will just be a bump in the road of your long career. That's my philosophy any ways. Keep us posted Tally. Good luck X

Yep Tally I agree with the majority here. You are not being dishonest by not telling them and one thing I have learned on this journey is that the less people you tell about TTC, the better! Because it is so unpredictable. Very close friends and family only, in my opinion.