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Original poster

"When are you going to have children" and other stupid questions!

27 replies

ithinkineedahug · 02/05/2014 18:59

Is it just me or do people start to ask very personal questions as soon as you get married or become a certain age! interested to know your responses that you give when people ask if you're trying or when exactly you're going to have a baby?! These are people that I barely know but for some reason they think it's their business!

OP posts:
Gemerama · 02/05/2014 19:11

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Beansprout30 · 02/05/2014 19:13

We didn't get it too much when we married thank god as most people already knew me as the least maternal person ever! I think it's such a bloody rude thing to say id never ask someone this

Inshock73 · 02/05/2014 19:16

Don't you want to say 'I can't have children' just to shut them up? Or it that just me? I can't stand it.

Gemerama · 02/05/2014 19:20

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Gemerama · 02/05/2014 19:25

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Original poster
ithinkineedahug · 02/05/2014 19:32

inshock that's exactly what I want to say just to shut them up! I wonder what they would say if I said actually I'm desperate to have a child. DH has just come round to the idea and the reason I was late this morning is cos we had to have our morning romp just in case he changes his mind!

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 02/05/2014 19:35

I get this a lot. I'm tempted to tell people I only do bumsex

Original poster
ithinkineedahug · 02/05/2014 19:36

hahaha love it!

OP posts:
Inshock73 · 02/05/2014 19:41

LOL Ithink and NoArmani

Gemerama my sister gets that all the time, she's 33 single and desperate to meet someone, people just don't realise how much it upsets her.

Inshock73 · 02/05/2014 19:42

You've inspired me NoArmani I might just tell the next person who asks me that my BF will only do bumsex :)

Fizzyizzy82 · 02/05/2014 20:36

I used to get this all the time when ttc DS, it took almost a year and my mum was the worst offender! Every time I seen her she would ask were we not thinking about having babies yet. I eventually shouted at her one day that we were trying lots and lots but if she wanted to sit on the end of the bed and make sure we were doing it right then to feel free! Shock she never asked again!

toots123 · 02/05/2014 20:40

Constantly asked when we are having babies. Been trying 6 months now so my honest answer to people is "ive no idea"

the hardest one is when my mum asks. Shes my best friend and not telling her we are trying is so hard but I just want to wait and hopefully tell her shes going to be a granny

Inshock73 · 02/05/2014 20:42

Loving your comeback Fizzy

Inshock73 · 02/05/2014 20:45

My mum used to really upset me Toots, every time she saw a newborn she'd coo and say 'don't you want one?' I kept telling her to leave it until eventually it got to the point I had to tell her I'd had a mc and been ttc ever since, she was really upset but I had warned her to stop going on at me.

Fizzyizzy82 · 02/05/2014 20:46

toots I know what you mean. I think that's what upset me about my mum constantly asking....she knew how much I wanted to be a mummy.

Chin up...it will happen!

Gemerama · 02/05/2014 20:56

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ELA88 · 03/05/2014 15:53

I'm loving the alternative responses here too ladies! Might have to start using them! Inshock73 I have also been tempted to just respond with I can't have them just to shut people up!

Rommell · 03/05/2014 15:58

I've just posted on another thread with a similar topic - people asking a mother when she's going to have another and making dire predictions about only children etc. So, depressingly, even once you do have a baby it doesn't stop - people just switch to asking you when you're going to have the next one.

I think, and I've said this on the other thread as well, that it's part and parcel of a certain mindset whereby women's bodies and especially reproductive functions/choices are viewed as public property. It is supremely annoying though - do these people not know that they are talking about deeply personal matters which may actually be a source of great anxiety for the woman they are addressing?

ELA88 · 03/05/2014 18:41

I don't think they do! I've been married 18months now and in the last week I've been asked "do you not want children?" Why yes, yes I do! But after nearly a year of TTC I appear not to have yet been lucky! Blah and then see numerous scan pictures and pregnant announcements, I feel I am becoming a bitter woman :-p

Sparrowlegs248 · 04/05/2014 22:45

I'm going for the bumsex only rrsponse.

My own bloody mother said recently (knowing i've been off contraception since late 2012...)

'Why don't you just get pregnant?'

Gemerama · 05/05/2014 10:05

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Sparrowlegs248 · 05/05/2014 18:01

Indeed gem I'm not sure how Dmother would react if I responded with 'but I only take it up the bum'

Shock
MummyBeerest · 05/05/2014 18:07

We've been asked when our next one will be. For some, I ask "Where's the nearest bed? Give us ten minutes or so and we'll see what we can bang out."

Perspective.

ELA88 · 05/05/2014 19:16

Lol mummybeerest that actually made me snort out loud! Had a lovely lunch with the girlies today, no baby mention or anything! Was so nice! Can't say the same for Facebook though! Xx

ChandlersFarang · 06/05/2014 07:25

MummyBearest - that is sheer brilliance. Will be deploying that A LOT over the next few months for sure. Grin