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Conception

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Feeling such loss and anxiety over chemical pregnancy

4 replies

YouMaySayImADreamer · 19/04/2014 14:34

So it looks like I have had a chemical pregnancy...was due on my period on 9th April, took a test the next morning after missed af and it was negative. Waited until the Sunday and took another test and got a faint but definately there positive. Took a digital test that afternoon and got a 'pregnant 1-2 weeks'. Hoping that I would get a stronger line, I took another dye test on Monday morning and the line was slightly fainter than the day before.

I went to the doctors on Tuesday and she wasnt sure having seen my results, so asked for a sample to test herself. I gave the sample in on Wednesday and got a call from the doctors the next day to say the result was positive - even the doctors receptionist was happy for me. Me and my partner were totally over the moon, and although I tried to stop myself, I was so excited and couldnt help imagining the sibling my 14mo ds was going to have, the excitement of having a baby around Christmas, and how happy I was to have a just under 2 year age gap between my dcs because I had wanted them close together.

Two days later...a couple of hours ago, I started what looked like bleeding I get at the start of my period. It seems to be slowly increasing although not at all heavy. I needed to pop to the shops and decided to continue as planned to take my mind off it and having just come back I have just take another dye test to see what the line looked like. It is almost invisible now, so I think thats the end.

I cant believe how devastated I am - without wanting to sound dramatic because I know people have suffered loss much later on - I feel heartbroken right now. My partner has taken the kids (our ds and dss) to the park with a friend and I am just sat here alone crying buckets feeling the most enourmous sense of loss for everything I had imagined and hoped for. Just before he left my partner told me not to worry and that we'd try again when we could, but I wanted this baby and all of the things I had imagined. I dont know if he will understand.

I am also worried that it means there is something wrong with me. I only stopped bf about six weeks ago so maybe my hormones are imbalanced? Or maybe I am damamged from ds's traumatic birth? Or maybe it was caused by the beginning of a fibroid that I have been told I have? It just feels so cruel to have it dangled in our faces and then snatched away within a matter of days. I suppose I had a gut feeling that something wasnt right.

Sorry for out pouring...just had to get it out because I have noone to talk to here and wondered if this has happened to anyone else and how you felt?

OP posts:
teacupnic · 19/04/2014 14:46

A loss is a loss, no matter how early. You thought you were going to have a baby and now this has been taken away. Everyone has different feelings about losses and you may need time to grieve.

This happened to me earlier last year, and I did visit a doctor and unfortunately they cannot tell you for sure the reason for it but it may be worth a visit to your doctor if you are concerned about it. As far as I recall, they tend to do relevant tests after a few Chemical Pregnancies.

I felt very empty after mine, but have since had a BFP. Wishing you the best of luck with everything.

YouMaySayImADreamer · 19/04/2014 21:08

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences teacupnic...feel a bit silly for being so upset having known for "definate" only less than a week. I had just allowed myself to get excited after the doctors results though and had stupidly worked out dates and possible scan dates etc.

I think it is the sense of loss of everything that went with it...I loved being pregnant with ds and I couldnt wait for it all to start again. Also the thought of a Christmas baby and a sibling so close to ds are thoughts I cant get out my head and now i'm scared it will take a long time to happen again.

Really sorry it happened to you too but glad to hear you have since had a bfp...congratulations! And thanks for the luck Smile

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hm32 · 19/04/2014 21:12

Lots of sympathy from me too. I lost one at 8 weeks, and was totally gutted. Time heals though, you try again and in time you have your sibling. When I lost mine, so many people told me they'd lost one between DC1 and DC2 - it is really common.

Think positive - this one was not meant to be, but you can conceive, so there will be another. Good luck in the future!

YouMaySayImADreamer · 19/04/2014 23:17

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences hm32 and I am sorry to hear of your loss too, 8 weeks must have been so hard. I really appreciate your kind words and having someone say they understand, it helps a lot as only my dp knows and he seems pretty disappointed, but not too sad which I know is understandable.

Today has been hard. We have had our friends 2 year old tonight too and it was too late to cancel so just longing for some space and peace to have a good cry! Just wanting time to pass now so I can stop feeling so sad.

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