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Adoption - can anyone help?

5 replies

Bubu · 08/03/2004 22:59

Any help or advice for a friend of mine who is thinking about adoption. She is going through the very early stages of IVF - all tests and things but is considering adoption as she doesn't think she will be able to cope with IVF. Any information, stories or web pages she could look up would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:

josiejump · 09/03/2004 21:31

I have been down the same route- went through the adoption process after 1st failed IVF, and I have to say that I think the adoption process was more harrowing than the IVF. We were basically advised at the end that we should continue with the IVF, they felt that we'd given up too soon ( also I'd made the faux pas of saying that I needed a baby, so that put us out of the picture too). There is an adoption paper called Be My Parent that we were advised to get- it features all the children who are having trouble in finding placements, but I found that it made for quite distressing reading when some children were featured month after month after month.
I think the thing that really helped me decide what to do was a book on infertility, which stopped me from burying my head in the sand and made me face the fact that I might never have children. Once I'd confronted that issue, things somehow got easier to bear ( and I am now extremely fortunate to be Mum to 3 children after 4 IVF attempts).
I wish your friend all the very best- it's a very difficult time for her , but she is lucky to have a supportive friend like you!


mothernature · 09/03/2004 21:39

I hope this makes informative reading....good luck..


Tommy · 09/03/2004 21:47

I am an extremely proud Aunty to 3 children who have just come to live with my brother and SIL and hopefully will be adopted in due course.
A very long and challenging process for all of us and for many reasons but I can't tell you how rewarding it is....have to stop now as have tears in my eyes...


Bubu · 10/03/2004 10:08

Thanks for that - will pass on the information to my friend.

OP posts:

Miriam2 · 06/04/2004 08:03

I'm going back 12 years now but we had a positive experience going through our local authority. Your friend could contact them at any time and the first meeting was very informal and useful. We then left it quite some time before proceeding but it means you know where to start and who to contact when you are ready.

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