Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Need a bit of advice please................

8 replies

Nelli30 · 01/08/2006 14:33

Hi there, My husband and I have been ttc for 2 years now. We have been seen by a consultant and have both had all the relevant test including a laparoscopy, all came back as negative/normal. I had a miscarriage in Jan 06 and a suspected miscarriage in March 06. My consultant says he does not reccommend fertility drugs such as clomid as it can harm your fertility rate over a period of 6 months if there is no medical reason for not being able to conceive. We are listed to start the IVF in november. I just feel that this is a huge jump from being tested and nothing being wrong to starting IVF , without trying anything else in between. On the other hand if this is our only option other than waiting then I would take it as I can't wait a moment longer. Is anyone else in a simular position? I know you will all understand when I say , its taking over. Everyone around me seems to be pregnant or talking about their children. I have a stepdaughter who's mum has just had a baby, which is hard. Its everywhere you look, and its really getting me down. I had to start a/depressants 4 months ago because each cycle seemed a hugh disapointment, and got me down for days. Everyone keeps telling me to forget about it and it will happen!!! How are you supposed to do that??!!! HELP PLEASE

OP posts:
KeepingQuiet · 01/08/2006 14:43

Have you tried any alternative approaches like reflexology?

Original poster
Nelli30 · 01/08/2006 14:47

Yes - tried reflexology and hypnotherapy - still no success.

OP posts:
liath · 01/08/2006 14:51

Hi,

I think the "forget about it & it will happen" however well meant is not helpful. It's hard to understand or empathise unless you've been there. I remember throwing a plate at the TV when yet another advert featuring cute babies came on (missed, luckily ). It took nearly 4 years to conceive dd - we were about to start IVF when it happened and I'd just had a course of reflexology so I would definitely recommend trying that. Also I used to try and time holidays for when I'd be roughly midcycle and we did conceive on holiday.

Good luck and you CAN conceive - you've done it once & possibly twice this year already by the sounds of it .

liath · 01/08/2006 14:53

oops - x-post, didn't realise you'd tried the reflexology.

shhhh · 01/08/2006 15:43

By the sounds of it both you and your dh are fertile BUT it's just taking it's time iykwim.
I posted on another thread about dh & I. It took us 4 years to get dd. I seemed to take 6-9 months to get pregnant and I experienced x2 mc. We never thought we would ever have a baby running around the home. Luckily things turned for us and our dd is now 14 motnhs and we are now 14 weeks with baby2. This pregnancy took us by surprise as we got caught the 1st time.

I know people say it's hard to relax and see what happens but I thoroughly believe it. While trying for our dd we actually went private for test's and the week of our 1st appointment to get things moving we found out we were expecting.!! We had seen our consultant 4 months prior to this and she advised us to leave it 6 months before we had further tests, to go away on holiday,get a pet,move home..in fact anything to take our minds of ttc. Anyway our home was up for sale, we got married and went on honeymoon. Once back we decided we weren't waiting another 2 months so went to see the consultant..LOL we didn't know that we had a honeymoon baby on the way...

Another thing that makes me think..I always seemed to conceive while abroard in a hot climate..because I'm relaxed or is the temp to do with it..???!!!

Good luck.I'm proof that it can and does happen and believe me..dh & I had almost given up. xx

wannaBe1974 · 01/08/2006 18:54

I too am a believer in the need to relax during ttc, although I totally empathise with the feeling that it's taking over your life. We ttc our ds for 13 months, and eventually we decided to give up as it was "never going to happen". we decided to have all relevant tests purely to find out what the problem was, and then to tell our families that it wasn't going to happen, and the month we went to gp I found out I was pg. I have said this many times before, but when my ds was born I realized in my heart that the reason why it had taken me so long was because that was the ds I was meant to have. any other time, any other baby, and it wouldn't have been ds and my life would have been different to how it is now. I know how easy it is to lose sight of that as we are in same situation again, only now we have been given a diagnosis that dh has low sperm count so I know I'm not likely to strike lucky twice, but I do believe that things happen for a reason.

There is a lot of evidence to suggest that stress can affect fertility, and the more you relax, the more likely you are to conceive, especially if you have no other underlying problems.

You say that IVF is such a big step to take, if you're unsure about it you can always put it off, if you're not ready to go through such a process, I think IVF is wonderful for those who desperately want a baby, but it is very invasive and can be very emotionally and financially draining with no guarantees, while I totally admire anyone who goes through the process, it's not for everyone, and imo you shouldn't go into it lightly. But only you can decide. good luck x

lucy5 · 01/08/2006 18:59

My friend says that Yoga helped her concieve, when she was told that she couldn't.

jabuti · 01/08/2006 20:57

wannabe, i completely share your vision about why your ds took his time to come along.

nelli, take care of your depression with counselling or exercise (nice rush from adrenaline), just pills dont do the trick (been there myself).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page