Does everyone feel like this??

[RPopz]

Hi everyone.

Been lurking for a while, thought I'd finally post. Taken me a while to find a "baby dust" free forum....

Husband and I have been ttc since the end of September. I never wanted to be a ttc obsessive, ovulation slave, charter, symptom spotter, forum user(!) etc etc, just wanted it to happen naturally. The thing is, its driving me crazy now. I know we haven't been trying that long in the scheme of things but I feel so anxious and depressed that it hasn't happened yet. I'm obsessing about it constantly, completely paranoid that one or both of us is infertile and its never going to happen, sex is just a means to an end, husband is driving me crazy, I actually loath him some days! Just, not enjoying the experience at all. Plus its not something I feel like I really want to talk about with friends, so I don't know if I'm being a complete mentalist or if its "normal".

Period is due next week. I took an early pregnancy test this morning (dumbest idea ever)- I knew it would be negative.

Am I just overreacting?

Hi, Its really difficult not to focus on it - but you have got to relax. I never thought i would have kids, then i met hubbie #2, being 39 at the time i had two beliefs #1 if it happens it happens #2 it's more important to be with the man i love (even if it meant no kids). After 9 months of ttc we did it. 4 years on, its taken the same amount of time to concieve our 2nd (and that included a few months not trying). So "ease off the gas" - relax. And if nothing has happened after 12months see your GP. Good luck.

You really need to chill out, stop trying maybe this cycle and remind yourseld why you married dh in the first place, you need to get back to just the two of you.

I know its easier said than done

Meant to say the first time i didnt use any testing etc... We just had lots of sex! This time we did get to the point of using ovulation tests but only for the last month (though i have to say i went through loads of preg tests).

Just relax and enjoy the time you have together, why not arrange something nice to do together every month so you are looking forward to something other than a BFP!

RPopz, just wanted to pop in and say I'm exactly the same (and this is only cycle 1). I'm 7po and have already churned though half a dozen tests. I have all sorts of odd symptoms that make me think I'm preggers but I'm so obsessive I can't tell if I'm imagining them (I'm sure I'm not but then I would think that wouldn't I?!)

I think it's quite hard - I don't know what you're like in the rest of your life but I'm used to having control over things - am in my 30s, in a senior job, etc - so not knowing what is happening really does my head in. It's good to come on here and off-load so my friends (and DH) don't realise what a lunatic I really am (pretty sure DH does actually )

anyway just wanted to say I don't think it's that uncommon. Depending on your age though if it's not happening after 6 - 7 months you might want to consider getting checked out privately. (Not b/c the 12 month rule isn't sensible but just to get some peace of mind).

Totally normal OP, just so bloody difficult to relax isn't it, even though you know you should. Try just to keep life super busy so you have less time to think about it, DTD every other day if you can and try not to obsess about opks too much. Oh and come on here for a moan as and when you need to, lots of us in the same boat going slowly mad each month and step away from the preg tests until you're officially late!

I totally empathise OP. TTC wrecks my head. I hate it. Took 6mo to conceive DS and I was an obsessive mess. Been trying for number 2 since September and although I'm not as bad this times around it's still awful. I swing from being convinced we're totally infertile (I've had ovarian surgery since having DS) to being so totally convinced I'm pregnant that seeing the line is just a formality, and can go between those two extremes in a matter of moments! It's actually debilitating.

It was no use people trying to tell me to relax, forget it etc. I have had friends airily tell me they've been trying for 18 months and are thinking about starting to use OPKS etc... They are just so different in mindset to me it's unreal. Basically I'm just going through TTC hell now until either it works or it's ben ling enough that I can go to the doctors and get blood tests! I've told DH this is our last, I love pregnancy, birth, having a newborn, parenting etc but I haven't got much TTC left in me, I'll be sectioned soon!

Thanks for the replies ladies. It really does help to know I'm not alone in feeling this way!

Think you've hit the nail on the head with the lack of control thing Gennz. I'm so used just doing all the research and working hard to get where I want... obviously that doesn't work with conception!!

Next month is a new month and all that... x

Bless ya Hun think there's a lot that feel the same. It's hard and emotional but if you try your best to relax about things and just enjoy the life you already have I am more than sure it will happen in good time.