So 42... too old to ttc again? discuss

[HorseyGirl1]

Our DC is nearly 2 and we had a mmc last year at around 8 weeks. I had erpc after that. Sadly I also lost my first pregnancy at 20 weeks due to IC - worst time ever and had to have erpc some 6 weeks later after that. I became pregnant with our DC 9 months after that. But and this is a big but... I would still like another child to give DC sibling. Am I stupid to think like this or should I admit I'm damn lucky to have what I have and quit now while I'm still ahead. I would find a second late loss very hard to deal with and I still think about that first lost pregnancy every day. My DH thinks we should try - if we don't try for a second child we'll never know - and part of me agrees with that but time just isn't on our side.

My personal experience is that I conceived fairly easily at age 42 (took 9 months after stopping using contraception but I was definately not 'trying' at the right time or anything like that DH much keener than I to have a baby .

I guess it depends how you would cope if things didn't work out, would that be worse than not even 'trying'?

My DM was 44 when I was born. Not that helpful, but positive

Not from personal experience but I don't think 42 is too old at all! Only thing to think about would be how far you want to go with it.

Are you willing to just let nature take it's course and possibly not have another child or will you look into ivf if it's not happening? I think the cut of for nhs help is 40 Seems a bit young to me but hey-ho!

I don't think 42 is too old, I suppose the biggest factors are how easily you get pregnant & being aware of the miscarriage rate in your 40's.

I had 2 m/c, at 39 & 40 before having DD at 41. I was never any more than 2/3 months TTC.

Thanks for replies. I think I could cope if it didn't happen - I've kind of resigned to myself well it won't happen then if anything does it is a bonus. I have thought about ivf but to be honest it's not so much the getting pregnant that does seem to happen for us , it's the staying positive throughout the pregnancy and staying pregnant that I would find hard. It's such a long process - baking a DC! and it would be mentally hard for me. I'm scared of the pregnancy bit but of course need to go through that to get the DC at the end! Not even scared of the birth bit- it's the getting to that point that worries me.

My DFs gorgeous DS was conceived and born when is DM was 42. She'd had a MC the year before to.

His DM

I think if YOU want anotehr child and you are aware of the risks associated concieving later in life then go for it. If however you only want another child to give your current DC a sibling then i wouldn't. I was an only child and have had two only children myself (15 year gap and DD1 left home) I think there is alot to said for being an only :) Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I had my second child at 42. He is now 4 and I am so glad we went for it.

Do your reading to understand the risks - it can be a bit scary. Discuss worst case scenarios with your partner and remember even with a 1 in 5 chance 80% of people are absolutely fine.

It's good to hear good stories after bad experiences (thanks lotsofcheese). I've thought about the risks with later pregnancy too. Ironically I'm an only too! It's not just for my DC though, its for both my DH and me too. But yes, I agree there's nothing wrong with being an only and considering some family issues I agree that yes it can be an advantage if you see what I mean!

My DC3 is 12 weeks old and I'm 42, we are trying for another in 6 months when I'll be 43. You are def not too old :)

Hi there

I'm just 42 and ttc, we decided in August to try and just see what happens! I got a bfp in October but sadly mc. I was quite chilled out about it all before the mc but getting the bfp made me realise how much I wanted that baby! Dp was over the moon as it would be his first dc. I have 2. Became a bit obsessive about the whole ttc thing so now trying to relax.....if it happens it happens!! Good luck op

My mum is 50 with a girl who's 8 and a boy who is 6. Both perfect. She's never been happier and they're lovely, happy children :) 42 definitely is 't too old!

There's extra risks but if it's what you want then go for it :) xx

I think if you can deal with the slightly higher risks (of miscarrying / chromosomal problems/higher risks of labour) then go for it. I am a mere 40, 6m PG and people look at me weirdly and with surprise when I say I am an older mother!