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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Stupid doctor

24 replies

Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 11:30

Hi so I have been trying to conceive for over 12 months just had a few period problems (can be irregular and very very painful) so went doctors he said I had raised free androgens in my blood and thought it was pcos. So I had a ultra sound and the didn't see anything wrong. So I asked doctor what I should do next as I am wanting to conceive but not at the point where I am ready to tell everyone and start going to hospital appointments and things. I don't want everyone knowing my business so the doctor basically said there is nothing he will do until I decide I want go hospital. So I have been trying to get pregnant with out any help of the doctors and nothing is happening is there anyway of helping with the process and making sure my periods are regular I am already losing weight and having plenty of sex.
Thanks in advance

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FrankelInFoal · 05/01/2014 11:33

If you have been TTC for 12 months without success then you need to go and see a fertility specialist at your local hospital. A GP only has basic knowledge of fertility issues so I'm afraid he won't be of much help to you.

Just because you go to a hospital doesn't mean you have to tell anyone about it. I was under a fertility specialist for 2 years before I told anyone. You don't need to tell work, just say you have an appointment and leave it at that.

EvenFlo · 05/01/2014 11:37

In what way is the doctor 'stupid'?

How exactly do you expect to be helped if you do not wish to go to the hospital for the next stages of investigation / treatment?

m33r · 05/01/2014 12:08

bobbi loads if people have the opposite problem where doc refuses to refer so it's good that he / she is paying attention. You should also know that in some areas it can take six minth's to get the hosp appt after the gp referral, then another few months to go through all the tests, then you'll be in a huge queue for ivf (if it comes to that).

If you're not ready for hosp appts then that's totally your choice but if there will be issues it can a take a very long time to get it sorted ... Every chance you'll conceive in this time (yay!) but if not, it won't need to take any longer and can take up to 2 years from point of referral ...

If you don't want the hosp yet though, there are loads of books recommended on here - can't think of any now - which are full of more natural tips.

I hope this is helpful and good luck!

MooMa1d · 05/01/2014 12:10

Bobbi not sure what the problem is with going to the hospital just for some help and advice? There is nothing the Dr can do and the fact that s/he wants to refer you is a good thing.

Unless you have a major reason for not wanting to go then I'd just go - how on earth is going to know that's where you're going??

summerlovingliz · 05/01/2014 12:20

Go and have the appointment, it could be something so minor that would be so easily fixed and you will be nod step closer to having your baby.. As others have said you don't need to tell anyone, it is a very private thing so do understand your feelings! In the meantime just keep trying and stay positiveSmile

Baxter2014 · 05/01/2014 12:55

Continuing to lose weight (particularly through the use of a low GI diet) is the best thing you can do for yourself without medical intervention. However I would recommend speaking to a specialist. All consultations are confidential, and if you are diagnosed with PCOS they will be able to put you on the appropriate medications to regulate your cycle and promote ovulation. Sometimes we just cant do these things on our own. Trust the doctors. Although it can be incredibly frustrating at times, they are here to help.

eurochick · 05/01/2014 13:23

How is the dr stupid? He/she ready to refer you but you are declining because you seem to think this means you will have to tell everyone. You only have to tell who you want to.

If you don't want further investigations, then yes, have sex and try to lose weight if you are overweight and generally maintain a healthy lifestyle. But none of those things will help if e.g. your tubes are blocked.

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 14:54

It really not the dr that stupid it me I don't like talking about sex and stuff because I get embarrassed and start stuttering and get all worked up because in my family we don't talk about it. Heck I can only just talk about it with my other half lmao. Plus I feel stupid all my friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat some of them have even had kids and I can't really keep it secret my mums friend works at the drs I at so she will know. I just thought the dr would be able to give me something or some advice. Sorry to keep on blabbering on I just feel stupid x

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FrankelInFoal · 05/01/2014 15:15

Your mums friend won't know. Patient confidentiality means if she says anything to your mum, or anyone else for that matter, about any treatment you have she could lose her job.

Talking about sex and the like to strangers is never particularly comfortable, but the specialists are used to it.

Don't feel stupid about not having conceived yet, it is something that us out of your hands - even if you have sex at exactly the right time of the month there is still only something like a 30% chance you'll actually get pregnant - that us just nature. Some people find it a lot easier to get pregnant than others, it's just life I'm afraid.

Go back to your Dr and ask him to refer you to the fertility specialist at your local hospital. That is the person who will be able to help work out exactly what you need to help you get pregnant, whether it is advice or medication.

m33r · 05/01/2014 15:59

It's tough bobbi but you def shouldn't feel stupid. It's so hard I know. I feel less stupid; more useless! Also, re the talking about thing, I find being on here and talking about things starts to normalise it so it should get easier.

Good luck!

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 16:06

Ahh I thought she would know and tell people lol and really sorry my first post didn't make much seance I am having one of them arrrghh days I just found out my best friend has just had her baby and he so cute but I have got a big case of the green eyed monster. Thanks for all the advice and will go drs this week and has anyone any experience with trying for a baby vitamins do they help as I don't have a amazing diet due to having a few allergies. I am losing weight so my diet is better than it used to be lol

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Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 16:11

@m33r I feel useless sometimes and just have no one to talk to about this stuff because other half don't worry about it he sees it as it will happen when it happens

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FrankelInFoal · 05/01/2014 16:12

As far as vitamins go they won't help you get pregnant as it were, but they won't do any harm. The most important thing to take is a Folic Acid, you should be taking it already as your are TTC, but if not don't worry just get some next time you are in the chemist/supermarket.

circlebeginning · 05/01/2014 16:18

I don't know your BMI but very new advice is that you should take prescription strength folic acid if you're above a certain weight and a prenatal vitamin. Advice came in only recently.

Also you might want to see a private obstetrician just for advice. I did that for both babies and it was well worth it.

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 16:22

Ahh I will I haven't sone much research on this stuff as I have managed just to be ok about it not happening for so long. But my friend having her baby really really made me upset and happy for her at the same time and now I have decided that I going to have to take some proper action apart from just losing weight

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Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 16:24

My bmi is quite high even though I have lost quite a bit of weight I don't look fat lol but I am fat weight wise lol

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circlebeginning · 05/01/2014 16:25

I don't know your BMI but very new advice is that you should take prescription strength folic acid if you're above a certain weight and a prenatal vitamin. Advice came in only recently.

Also you might want to see a private obstetrician just for advice. I did that for both babies and it was well worth it.

circlebeginning · 05/01/2014 16:26

Oops weird double post!

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 16:49

What would they want to know at the hospital ?

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m33r · 05/01/2014 17:33

Bobbi I feel for you about your friend and its ok to be upset (as well as happy for her). Now you"'re taking control it should feel good.

I haven"t had my hosp appt yet but sure someone on here will advise. Don't panic though. It takes a while. I was referred in August and haven"t had my appt yet so plenty time for you to take other action.

eurochick · 05/01/2014 17:49

This is how it went for me.

My GP tested my hormone levels on days 2/3 and day 21 (blood tests). He asked my husband to get a semen analysis done. The GP then referred me to a fertility clinic at the local hospital.

We had a consultation at which they took a health history for both of us and asked about period regularity and pain, etc. The dr then did a very brief internal on me, and referred me for more blood tests, a scan and a hsg (to check for tube blockages), plus another SA for my husband. These tests all came back normal (we had a second consultation to get the results) at which point they referred us to the IVF waiting list at a bigger hospital. Presumably if they had found something on the tests, there would have been attempts to "fix" it.

It's a stressful process but if you want to get to the bottom of whatever is wrong (if something is wrong) you will need to pursue it.

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 18:13

Ahh ok I just didn't know what they would ask so my plan so far is call dr, get vitamins and folic acid carry on with weight loss. Is there anything I can do to improve his fertility ? And thank you all for all this help

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eurochick · 05/01/2014 18:16

If he drinks or smokes, he should be giving up/cutting down. You should both be eating well and getting some exercise. Loose boxers are a good thing, as is making sure he doesn't he his balls up by sitting with his laptop on them for ages!

Original poster
Bobbi1234 · 05/01/2014 18:53

Neither of us drink we are like pretty much tee total and I can try and pry a few of his precious cigarets away from him lol I don't smoke but do take a little bit of medications for back problems do you recon this will make any difference it is 30/500 co codamol and trying to get him to eat healthier will be the death of me lol

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