Having been off work on normal rest days since Monday I went back today for the first shift of 7. I thought I was pretty much on top of everything after my 2nd MC last week but it would appear not!
A colleague who joined our team last year got pregnant with her second immediately after following advice I had given her 
(She didn't know sperm can live in the fallopian tubes for a number of days). This massively affected me at the time but I kind of got over it and was happy for her! Then my best friend dropped the three months upduffed bombshell and I went into another spiral, I got a BFP 2 weeks later and was on top of the world for about 4 days, then mc 
. At work today my pg colleague and another workmate were talking about the pg and we had an email asking us to cover the shifts she can no longer do due to pg and I just couldn't take it! On top of everyone asking "Did you have a good New Year?" NO!!!! I did not! "2014 is going to be brilliant" not from where I'm sitting
2 of my 3 friends are pregnant (the 3rd is my closest friend and she moved away to London last year) and I can't even get away from it at work anymore.
My OH is wonderful but firmly in the "it'll happen" boat, he's gone to work now and I'm just sat at home trying not to cry.
I'm in self-pity limbo with no-one left to talk to, therapist has had time off over Christmas (well deserved!) so I'm trying to hang on till next week when I see her and my GP. But finding it hard to cope in the mean time. I am totally unable to relax. Having ice-cream would be nice but then I'll just feel guilty/bad about not sticking to being totally healthy to ensure my next BFP!
Sorry about all the self pity, childish ranting but I need to get this out somehow before I slope off to bed to go to work for 7am 