Going to the docs to discuss fertility- what should I say?

[1hopefulgirl]

Last time I went to the docs we had been ttc for 5months ( I said it was 8 to the doc). Have long cycles (40days on average) so want them to check I am ovulating. Last time I went they said ' children are a gift from god. If you were meant to have one it will happen. Stop stressing.' Wtf!? Also, 'you might have pcos but you might not so don't worry until you have been trying for a year'. Sooo, according to what I said to the docs, it has been a year of ttc so I am going to try and get an appointment tomorrow but as you can imagine, I don't really want to accept this response this time so other than change docs, what do I need to demand?! I do not want to leave with nothing being done!

'A gift from God' - well, I know we've just had Christmas where that was supposedly the case, but generally there's a bit more science involved.
I don't think it's unusual for even perfectly healthy couples with no fertility issues to take a year to conceive, hence the advice to try for a year. But if you have been trying for a year with no success and have some suspicions of an underlying condition, then hopefully you should be referred for some more tests.
Go in, say you've taken their advice but are still not pregnant and would like them to refer you for more tests. Is there more than one doctor at your surgery, perhaps you could see someone other than the doctor who gave you the rather feeble 'don't stress and wait for divine intervention' comment?

I'd go nuts if my GP said that to me! What if you don't believe in god?? You don't get to have kids? I'm pretty sure the medical profession shouldn't be involving religion in their practices!! I agree with Beamur go see them and say you've been trying and now want a referral, preferable talk to a different doctor if you can.

As above we were referred to the fertility clinic after 1 yr. Scan for me, sperm test for him and HSG for me. This all took months so you want to get the ball rolling- in most areas I believe they will do this after 1 yr. Probably a lot of couples get pg during this testing phase- I didn't but did when all tests fine and was given clomid and know several other couples that got there that way.

Haha! Glad it's not just me that thought that was a poor answer for a doctor to give. There are more doctors but mainly men. Last time I went to one of the male docs to ask him to change my contraceptive pill, he got out his text book and began to read it in front of me, gave me a new contraceptive and then said, 'next time book an appointment with a female doctor if you want help with this kind of thing.' I know they can't know everything but doesn't give me much hope that I am going to get the best support. Maybe I need glasses- maybe it's not actually a doctors surgery I keep going to and in actual fact it is the post-office next door!!
I am hoping that I am worrying for nothing and in actual fact there is nothing wrong with me but until I hear hard evidence that is the case I fear I will worry, which I know will prevent ovulation. Arrgghh! So tricky!

Christelle

Thank you for the advice. I know it takes many people a long time to conceive which is what worries me. I'm not sure if I am ovulating so really want to get the ball rolling as you say
I hope that things are looking a bit more positive for you now

MissH

I was in a bit of shock when she said that to me. Made me feel a bit stupid that I was trying to interfere in 'god's plan' so nodded politely and didn't question it then kicked myself when I got home.

To be fair that's probably what I would actually do if it happened to me!

Another question, sorry!

I did get a blood test a few weeks after visiting the doctor but she said she couldn't tell me if I had ovulated because my cycles are not regular so it is hard to know if I have or not. So if they give me a blood test this time will I not be in the same situation as my cycles still don't seem to be regular ( normally 40days but this month 31).

A gift from god? FFS. Are you SURE you were not in the post office instead?

Hopeful the blood test to check ovulation is done 7 days post-ovulation (so often called day 21 test for someone with a 'typical' 28 day cycle). If your cycles are irregular then it can be difficult, if they are always 40 days then you probably ovulate on about day 26 and need the blood test on about day 33. Do you check your temperature/use OPKs? If you know when you ovulated according to these, you can book your blood test for 7 days after ovulation.

Just seen that this month it was 31. If you're not checking temps, another way would be to have serial blood tests every few days from day 21 onwards. Definitely see a different GP though. You may find that you have to be very pro-active. Even my nice GP didn't know that day 21 tests were useless in someone with long cycles.

Ladybunnikins
Thanks for that. I have been doing opk and got dark lines but never quite as dark as the control line which has also worried me. Just started temping today so will see how that goes.

Update...
Went to the docs today and saw a new lady who was really nice. Got bloods taken and has referred me to the hospital for further investigations. Hurray! I know it won't happen over night but feel a bit better that I am slightly further along the road. She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know but I suppose it has made me feel a bit happier knowing that we will keep trying and if that doesn't work out then at some point we will get tests from the hospital. I know it's stupid but I just feel like I have pcos and I feel a bit better knowing this will be checked at some point this year!

Thanks everyone for the advice. First post on mn and lovely to have so many people giving advice and support.

Thats great news. Dont worry about faint opks- same here but definitely ovulated.

Thanks christelle. It's good to know that someone else has experienced this yet got pregnant. Well just need af to go away so we can get ready for our next go at Dtd constantly! Poor dh. Think he is beginning to fear me! Hehe