Am I being selfish?

[Claire129]

Hi I hope I can ask this question without people thinking I'm mad ha ha. I've got 4dc, 3 girls age 13 , 11 and 11 months and a bog age 7. My dh works fill time I work 16 hrs and we live in a 3 bedroom house. I had a baby last January and she completed our family and people thought we were,ad having another but I'm sooooo broody. I would love another but am I being selfish?? I haven't spoken to my dh but it's constantly on my mind, I'm still breast feeding my dd and I'm only 32 but I'm scared I ll be judged by people and family. Is if so bad to want another? I had an ovarian ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago And can't bare the idea of not ever having another baby in my life. The kids adore my dd and are such fantastic kids they just love doing things for her I know they d be thrilled too. Please can people tell he what they think. Thanks in advance x

I don't think people would judge you and if they did, who cares? It's up to you how many children you have.

Now,the person whose opinion does matter is dh, of course. The only thing to do is mention how you feel - perhaps drop a hint or casually ask him if he would have more children? You may find over a few months that you or he end up changing your mind about it anyway.

Thanks so much for that vjones1985 i am going to speak to my hubby this weekend and maybe it is just a phase. Wouldnt want to get pregnant just yet as my dd still abit young vut at least if i know how he feels it may settle my mind. I always worry what others think as people can be v judgemental so thanks for your kind words xx

Do what I did and leave a big gap. I had my last one three yrs ago when dd1 was 9 and the boys ate grown up.
That way there's never been time to be broody
I've definitely had enough now though.

I don't think it's selfish, providing you can provide for them. My Dad was one of 11, and he has always liked being part of a big family! But definitely worth thinking of the space and financial implications, and I think DH would definitely need to be on board with the idea.

Can you provide for five children (both financially and emotionally)?

Will having another baby harm your relationship with your existing children or your husband?

Will having another baby harm you physically?

Will you be able to stop after this baby or will you still want another?

I'd think about these questions, and if you still want another baby, go for it. My biggest worry would be that you're not focusing on the children you have but instead concentrating on an idealized vision of a baby (I don't necessarily think you are, I just think it's worth considering). If you honestly don't think that this is the case, then don't worry what other people think: do what works for your family!

As long as you can afford it/have enough room etc....
It only matters what you and Dh and dc think anyway.